"Julio Iglesias" by Murakami Haruki
After the mosquito coils disappeared, there was not one single thing left to protect us from the attack of the sea turtle. I had tried to order more mosquito coils both by mail and by telephone, but the telephone line had been cut, and mail service had stopped about two weeks before. The more I thought about it, the more certain I was that there was nothing to prevent that crafty sea turtle from doing just what he pleased. Until now, he'd been forced to drink ancient sea brine, thanks to the mosquito coils we had with us. Now, however, he was probably smiling contentedly to himself, down at the bottom of the deep blue sea, maybe chuckling a little, and taking a nap in preparation for nightfall.
"We're done for," she said to me. "When night comes, we'll both be devoured by the sea turtle."
"We must not give up hope," I said. "If we wrack our brains, we'll defeat this vile sea turtle."
"But the sea turtle stole every last one of our mosquito coils."
"We've got to try to think theoretically. If the sea turtle hates mosquito coils so much, there must be something else that he hates as well."
"For example?"
"Julio Iglesias," I said.
"Why Julio Iglesias?" she asked.
"I don't know. It just suddenly popped into my head. Like intuition or something."
Following my instincts, I put Julio Iglesias "Begin the Begine" on the Hi-Fi system's turntable and waited for sunset. When it got dark, the sea turtle would certainly launch his attack. Then, all would be decided: whether we would be eaten, or whether the sea turtle would weep.
Just before midnight, I heard the sound of squishy footsteps near the entranceway, and dropped the needle onto the record straightaway. When Julio Iglesias' sugar-water voice began to sing "Begin the Begine," the footsteps immediately stopped, and in their place could be heard a sea turtle's anguished moaning.
We had beaten the sea turtle.
That night, Julio Iglesias sang "Begin the Begine" 126 times. While I hate Julio Iglesias too, it wasn't nearly as bad as the sea turtle.
translated by Christopher Allison. Slightly edited for clarity by me. Solely to amuse Alicia.
"We're done for," she said to me. "When night comes, we'll both be devoured by the sea turtle."
"We must not give up hope," I said. "If we wrack our brains, we'll defeat this vile sea turtle."
"But the sea turtle stole every last one of our mosquito coils."
"We've got to try to think theoretically. If the sea turtle hates mosquito coils so much, there must be something else that he hates as well."
"For example?"
"Julio Iglesias," I said.
"Why Julio Iglesias?" she asked.
"I don't know. It just suddenly popped into my head. Like intuition or something."
Following my instincts, I put Julio Iglesias "Begin the Begine" on the Hi-Fi system's turntable and waited for sunset. When it got dark, the sea turtle would certainly launch his attack. Then, all would be decided: whether we would be eaten, or whether the sea turtle would weep.
Just before midnight, I heard the sound of squishy footsteps near the entranceway, and dropped the needle onto the record straightaway. When Julio Iglesias' sugar-water voice began to sing "Begin the Begine," the footsteps immediately stopped, and in their place could be heard a sea turtle's anguished moaning.
We had beaten the sea turtle.
That night, Julio Iglesias sang "Begin the Begine" 126 times. While I hate Julio Iglesias too, it wasn't nearly as bad as the sea turtle.
translated by Christopher Allison. Slightly edited for clarity by me. Solely to amuse Alicia.