Some Christmas cheer for Thespian
Title: You Can't Have Your Fruitcake and Eat it too.
Genre: Minions, Man from UNCLE
Rating: G
Prompt: Bob, Illya, Fruitcake
thespian15, I hope this starts your holiday off with a bang. Thanks for being part of it and thanks, of course, to nursesparky for her help.
To Bob’s way of thinking, there was not a holiday treat as maligned as fruitcake. They had first stumbled across it in Rome. Granted it was more humble then, just a dark bread with some raisins and nuts added. It was dense, dry, and just perfect, as far as minions was concerned, at least it was after they added bananas, inadvertently inventing banana bread.
The honey, spices and dried fruit added during the Middle Ages improved the taste and when the colonies added sugar, fruitcakes took off. No matter what continent the Minions traveled to, they could be assured that some sort of delicious homemade fruitcake was waiting in the wings for them.
It wasn’t until they found Gru that they were introduced to the mass-produced version and the jokes that trailed after it like a hungry puppy.
Bob sighed and looked down at his batter. He’d added all the dried fruit he could get his hands on, same with the nuts. To his way of thinking, the more variety, the better.
He glanced over at the bottle of brandy, all ready to be carefully dribbled over the fresh baked loaves. He’d test it later, but now, in the kitchen, he needed to stay focused. He didn’t want his loaves to burn.
He was just taking his second batch out of the oven when he heard a noise. He glanced at the clock to make sure it wasn’t time for a banana break and grew fearful. Even though the hideout was hard to find, it wasn’t impossible and for a moment, he feared that Scarlet Overkill might have found him. He grabbed Tim and held the teddy close before carefully climbing down from his stool.
Trying to be brave, he crept in the direction of the noise and asked, “Scarlet, tis pak to?”
A man stumbled from the shadows and fell at his feet.
“Ben nama to? Nama to okay?” Bob waited for a minute, but the man said nothing. He sighed and walked over to a wall phone. “Stuart, ka mo tem hep. Toka tokas.”
Bob gave the man a soft jab with the toe of his boot. “Nama to koi?”
There was a soft responding groan, but that was it. Bob tried several times to elicit another response from him, even as his minion colleagues were arriving.
“Ben tis le?“
“Amee deep le linda een aca?”
“Whaaa soko pem batooay?”
They were all good questions and Bob didn’t have any answers. “Ka pensa pem soko nupi lom da ta Boss.”
They had just plopped the unconscious man down on to the couch when Bob had a horrible feeling. His cakes! Surely, they would be burning by now. “No, no, no. no! Mi fruitcakes!”
With a surge of panic, Bob raced back to their kitchen, closely followed by many of his hungriest friends. At the noise, Kevin, who was, in fact, leading the charge, held up his hand and they slowed.
“Where the hell is he? I saw him come in here!” A man was throwing pops and pans aside as if the unconscious man could possible fit in one of them.
“It’s going to be curtains for you, Raymond, if the boss finds out you lost him.”
“I didn’t lose him, Clyde, you did.” He lifted up one of the baked loaves. “What the hell is this?”
“It looks like fruitcake.”
“More like a fruit brick. You could hammer nails with this.”
Bob’s lower lip started to quiver and his eyes filled with tears. Stuart gave him a fast hug and motioned to his fellow minions. No one made Bob cry. Within a second, they had a plan, an evil, cunning, devious plan worthy of the Minions of Gru.
They each armed themselves and when the moment was right, they attacked, a swarm of screaming yellow creatures to be reckoned with.
For their part, Raymond and Clyde might have seen what hit them, but no one would believe them.
Illya Kuryakin opened his eyes and blinked wearily. “Where am I?”
“You’re with us.” A young girl came into view, her big brown eyes full of compassion. “Bob brought you to us.”
“Bob?” It took two attempts for Illya to sit up. “Short yellow fellow? I seem to remember him and then I remember floating.”
“Minions can do that.” An older girl came into view. “I’m Margo and this is my sister, Agnes. My other sister, Edith, is at karate practice. You are?”
“Illya Kuryakin.”
“We, um, weren’t sure how to pronounce it. We called the number on your card and someone said your uncle would come and get you.”
“Thank you.” Illya took a deep breath and looked around. The décor was eclectic at best. It reminded him of his good friends, the Addams, and their taste in furnishings. “We have to be careful. There were some not-very-nice men after me and I don’t want to put you in danger.”
“Not to worry. The minions took care of them, too.”
“They seem like handy fellows to have around.”
“They are.”
Illya sat back as a large group of yellow creatures approached. He blinked several times as if he couldn’t believe his eyes.
In front of him, they dropped two very large bananas.
“Les nama tu,” one creature, taller than the others, said.
“I don’t…” Illya trailed off as he recognized a face imprinted upon the banana, then a smile began to curl his lips. “Thank you. I see there was nothing to worry about. These are minions?”
“The best that money can buy,” Margo said, proudly.
A small creature, carrying a tiny teddy bear approached and held up a plate. In it were some dark brown slices of fruit-studded bread. “Para tu.”
Illya reached out and accepted the plate, eyeing the slices warily. He took a bite and then a bigger one. “This is delicious. I love fruitcake.”
The small creature hugged his leg and jumped up and down.
“You made Bob very happy.” Agnes hugged his other leg. “Thank you. He’s my best friend.
“You are lucky to have such a friend. Thank you for saving me, Bob, all of you. I have a feeling I wouldn’t be here without you.” Illya knelt and offered his hand. “Would you mind if I had another piece of fruitcake? I’ve never had anything like it.”
Bob’s heart sang. He even forgot about the bottle of brandy… and that was saying something.
Scarlet, tis pak to - Scarlet, is that you?
Ben nama to? Nama to okay - Who are you? Are you okay?
Stuart, ka mo tem hep. Toka tokas.- Stuart, I need some help. Bring everyone.
Nama to koi - Are you alive?
Ben tis le? - Who is he?
Amee deep le linda een aca? - How did he get in here?
Whaaa soko pem batooay?- What should we do?
Ka pensa pem soko nupi lom da ta Boss - I think we should take him to the Boss.
Les nama tu - these are yours.
Para tu - For you.
Genre: Minions, Man from UNCLE
Rating: G
Prompt: Bob, Illya, Fruitcake
thespian15, I hope this starts your holiday off with a bang. Thanks for being part of it and thanks, of course, to nursesparky for her help.
To Bob’s way of thinking, there was not a holiday treat as maligned as fruitcake. They had first stumbled across it in Rome. Granted it was more humble then, just a dark bread with some raisins and nuts added. It was dense, dry, and just perfect, as far as minions was concerned, at least it was after they added bananas, inadvertently inventing banana bread.
The honey, spices and dried fruit added during the Middle Ages improved the taste and when the colonies added sugar, fruitcakes took off. No matter what continent the Minions traveled to, they could be assured that some sort of delicious homemade fruitcake was waiting in the wings for them.
It wasn’t until they found Gru that they were introduced to the mass-produced version and the jokes that trailed after it like a hungry puppy.
Bob sighed and looked down at his batter. He’d added all the dried fruit he could get his hands on, same with the nuts. To his way of thinking, the more variety, the better.
He glanced over at the bottle of brandy, all ready to be carefully dribbled over the fresh baked loaves. He’d test it later, but now, in the kitchen, he needed to stay focused. He didn’t want his loaves to burn.
He was just taking his second batch out of the oven when he heard a noise. He glanced at the clock to make sure it wasn’t time for a banana break and grew fearful. Even though the hideout was hard to find, it wasn’t impossible and for a moment, he feared that Scarlet Overkill might have found him. He grabbed Tim and held the teddy close before carefully climbing down from his stool.
Trying to be brave, he crept in the direction of the noise and asked, “Scarlet, tis pak to?”
A man stumbled from the shadows and fell at his feet.
“Ben nama to? Nama to okay?” Bob waited for a minute, but the man said nothing. He sighed and walked over to a wall phone. “Stuart, ka mo tem hep. Toka tokas.”
Bob gave the man a soft jab with the toe of his boot. “Nama to koi?”
There was a soft responding groan, but that was it. Bob tried several times to elicit another response from him, even as his minion colleagues were arriving.
“Ben tis le?“
“Amee deep le linda een aca?”
“Whaaa soko pem batooay?”
They were all good questions and Bob didn’t have any answers. “Ka pensa pem soko nupi lom da ta Boss.”
They had just plopped the unconscious man down on to the couch when Bob had a horrible feeling. His cakes! Surely, they would be burning by now. “No, no, no. no! Mi fruitcakes!”
With a surge of panic, Bob raced back to their kitchen, closely followed by many of his hungriest friends. At the noise, Kevin, who was, in fact, leading the charge, held up his hand and they slowed.
“Where the hell is he? I saw him come in here!” A man was throwing pops and pans aside as if the unconscious man could possible fit in one of them.
“It’s going to be curtains for you, Raymond, if the boss finds out you lost him.”
“I didn’t lose him, Clyde, you did.” He lifted up one of the baked loaves. “What the hell is this?”
“It looks like fruitcake.”
“More like a fruit brick. You could hammer nails with this.”
Bob’s lower lip started to quiver and his eyes filled with tears. Stuart gave him a fast hug and motioned to his fellow minions. No one made Bob cry. Within a second, they had a plan, an evil, cunning, devious plan worthy of the Minions of Gru.
They each armed themselves and when the moment was right, they attacked, a swarm of screaming yellow creatures to be reckoned with.
For their part, Raymond and Clyde might have seen what hit them, but no one would believe them.
Illya Kuryakin opened his eyes and blinked wearily. “Where am I?”
“You’re with us.” A young girl came into view, her big brown eyes full of compassion. “Bob brought you to us.”
“Bob?” It took two attempts for Illya to sit up. “Short yellow fellow? I seem to remember him and then I remember floating.”
“Minions can do that.” An older girl came into view. “I’m Margo and this is my sister, Agnes. My other sister, Edith, is at karate practice. You are?”
“Illya Kuryakin.”
“We, um, weren’t sure how to pronounce it. We called the number on your card and someone said your uncle would come and get you.”
“Thank you.” Illya took a deep breath and looked around. The décor was eclectic at best. It reminded him of his good friends, the Addams, and their taste in furnishings. “We have to be careful. There were some not-very-nice men after me and I don’t want to put you in danger.”
“Not to worry. The minions took care of them, too.”
“They seem like handy fellows to have around.”
“They are.”
Illya sat back as a large group of yellow creatures approached. He blinked several times as if he couldn’t believe his eyes.
In front of him, they dropped two very large bananas.
“Les nama tu,” one creature, taller than the others, said.
“I don’t…” Illya trailed off as he recognized a face imprinted upon the banana, then a smile began to curl his lips. “Thank you. I see there was nothing to worry about. These are minions?”
“The best that money can buy,” Margo said, proudly.
A small creature, carrying a tiny teddy bear approached and held up a plate. In it were some dark brown slices of fruit-studded bread. “Para tu.”
Illya reached out and accepted the plate, eyeing the slices warily. He took a bite and then a bigger one. “This is delicious. I love fruitcake.”
The small creature hugged his leg and jumped up and down.
“You made Bob very happy.” Agnes hugged his other leg. “Thank you. He’s my best friend.
“You are lucky to have such a friend. Thank you for saving me, Bob, all of you. I have a feeling I wouldn’t be here without you.” Illya knelt and offered his hand. “Would you mind if I had another piece of fruitcake? I’ve never had anything like it.”
Bob’s heart sang. He even forgot about the bottle of brandy… and that was saying something.
Scarlet, tis pak to - Scarlet, is that you?
Ben nama to? Nama to okay - Who are you? Are you okay?
Stuart, ka mo tem hep. Toka tokas.- Stuart, I need some help. Bring everyone.
Nama to koi - Are you alive?
Ben tis le? - Who is he?
Amee deep le linda een aca? - How did he get in here?
Whaaa soko pem batooay?- What should we do?
Ka pensa pem soko nupi lom da ta Boss - I think we should take him to the Boss.
Les nama tu - these are yours.
Para tu - For you.