Written for the 2022 MFUWSS Easter Egg Challenge
Title: Breaking a few eggs
Genre: Man from UNCLE
Rating: G
Word count: 500
Prompt: The guys find themselves captured and in an egg factory-about to become omelets if
Thrush has its wicked way... something over-the-top, third season-ish.
selyndaep, I hope you enjoy this bit of silly Easter fun! My thanks for a fun challenge and, of course, to my beta Sparky955.
“Ugh, what is that smell? Sulfur?”
Illya sniffed under his arm and made a face. “Us, I think. Where are we and what are we standing in?”
Napoleon managed to find a matchbook hidden in inner pocket and lit one.
“The Break a Few Eggs and Chicken Factory.” He dropped the match. “The answer to the second part of your question, beaten eggs. We appear to be up to our waist in them.”
A light from above made them both look up, wincing. “Well, gentlemen, you seem to be up to your tricks in eggs. Any last words before I make scrambled eggs of you. I’m making an egg-ample of you to all UNCLE agents who defy me.” Eggbert Hensworth couldn’t keep the gloating from his voice.
“This won’t stop UNCLE.”
“It might not destroy UNCLE, but it will keep you from bringing home the bacon. Think how pleased THRUSH will be that I succeeded where so many others have failed. I will be declared egg-ceptional”
“You haven’t.”
“Haven’t what?”
“Succeeded. Not yet. Better men than you have tried.” Illya tried to appear menacing.
“Hahahaha, said the man about to become breakfast. I will leave you to it. Good death, gentlemen.” He bowed deeply and was gone.
“Now what, oh brilliant schemer?” Napoleon asked.
“What else do you have in your pockets?”
“Um, a handkerchief, my cigarette case, and two real cigarettes.”
“That will be the death of you, Napoleon.” Illya disappeared under the egg mixture for a moment and came back up with his shoe. Hastily he undid the lace and tossed the shoe. “Let me have your stuff.
“You’ll be lucky if you don’t get food poisoning from that.”
Illya wiped his face off with Napoleon’s handkerchief, “It appears that this tank hasn’t been used for a long time and that part of the wall is rusting through. If we can stop up the flow of liquid into the tank and then aim it, it might blast through the side.”
“Might?” Napoleon was dubious.
“Yes, well, there’s a chance of us drowning, too, if it doesn’t. Of course, it would help if you had some exploding buttons on you.”
“Oh?”
“Napoleon, don’t tell me…”
“Well, you didn’t ask.”
Illya sighed deeply and held out a dripping hand. “Your buttons, Mr. Solo.”
“And that’s how you escaped?”
“And that’s what killed our poor Mr. Hensworth. You should have seen his face when the eggs hit him.”
“Scared?” April asked.
“Terri-fried.” Illya tried to hide his smile.
“I can’t believe you said that.” Mark glared at Illya from behind his coffee cup.
“No, literally, he fried.” Napoleon stirred his coffee slowly. “He was electrocuted. The force of the blast knocked him back against a fuse panel. I’m still trying to get the smell out of my nose.”
A waitress walked up to the table and smiled at them. “Happy Easter, ladies and gentlemen, what will you have?”
Napoleon and Illya looked at each other and handed her the menus. “Pancakes.”
Genre: Man from UNCLE
Rating: G
Word count: 500
Prompt: The guys find themselves captured and in an egg factory-about to become omelets if
Thrush has its wicked way... something over-the-top, third season-ish.
selyndaep, I hope you enjoy this bit of silly Easter fun! My thanks for a fun challenge and, of course, to my beta Sparky955.
“Ugh, what is that smell? Sulfur?”
Illya sniffed under his arm and made a face. “Us, I think. Where are we and what are we standing in?”
Napoleon managed to find a matchbook hidden in inner pocket and lit one.
“The Break a Few Eggs and Chicken Factory.” He dropped the match. “The answer to the second part of your question, beaten eggs. We appear to be up to our waist in them.”
A light from above made them both look up, wincing. “Well, gentlemen, you seem to be up to your tricks in eggs. Any last words before I make scrambled eggs of you. I’m making an egg-ample of you to all UNCLE agents who defy me.” Eggbert Hensworth couldn’t keep the gloating from his voice.
“This won’t stop UNCLE.”
“It might not destroy UNCLE, but it will keep you from bringing home the bacon. Think how pleased THRUSH will be that I succeeded where so many others have failed. I will be declared egg-ceptional”
“You haven’t.”
“Haven’t what?”
“Succeeded. Not yet. Better men than you have tried.” Illya tried to appear menacing.
“Hahahaha, said the man about to become breakfast. I will leave you to it. Good death, gentlemen.” He bowed deeply and was gone.
“Now what, oh brilliant schemer?” Napoleon asked.
“What else do you have in your pockets?”
“Um, a handkerchief, my cigarette case, and two real cigarettes.”
“That will be the death of you, Napoleon.” Illya disappeared under the egg mixture for a moment and came back up with his shoe. Hastily he undid the lace and tossed the shoe. “Let me have your stuff.
“You’ll be lucky if you don’t get food poisoning from that.”
Illya wiped his face off with Napoleon’s handkerchief, “It appears that this tank hasn’t been used for a long time and that part of the wall is rusting through. If we can stop up the flow of liquid into the tank and then aim it, it might blast through the side.”
“Might?” Napoleon was dubious.
“Yes, well, there’s a chance of us drowning, too, if it doesn’t. Of course, it would help if you had some exploding buttons on you.”
“Oh?”
“Napoleon, don’t tell me…”
“Well, you didn’t ask.”
Illya sighed deeply and held out a dripping hand. “Your buttons, Mr. Solo.”
“And that’s how you escaped?”
“And that’s what killed our poor Mr. Hensworth. You should have seen his face when the eggs hit him.”
“Scared?” April asked.
“Terri-fried.” Illya tried to hide his smile.
“I can’t believe you said that.” Mark glared at Illya from behind his coffee cup.
“No, literally, he fried.” Napoleon stirred his coffee slowly. “He was electrocuted. The force of the blast knocked him back against a fuse panel. I’m still trying to get the smell out of my nose.”
A waitress walked up to the table and smiled at them. “Happy Easter, ladies and gentlemen, what will you have?”
Napoleon and Illya looked at each other and handed her the menus. “Pancakes.”