WMIY UPDATE!
Yep i knwo it's been a while since i update this, i'm sorry, but to make up for it i'm posting 2 chapters tonight. So here is Chapters 10 and 11 of what's mine is yours. Hope you like, i'd love to hear what you think.
Chapter 10: Decisions, Decisions.
Buffy woke the next morning curled in a ball on Willow’s bed. She looked down and saw a sleeping bag laid out on the floor, but Willow wasn’t there. Buffy stood up and stretched, wondering when she had fallen asleep and why she was still at Willow’s. After waiting a few minutes to see if Willow would come back Buffy decided to go downstairs and find her. She trudged downstairs and looked into the kitchen where she saw Willow standing by a pan of pancakes.
“Hey Buffy, glad you’re up. Want some breakfast?” Willow asked.
Buffy smiled; “Sure,” she sat down at the breakfast bar where Willow had set a plate down for her.
“What time is it?” she asked.
“Noon,” Willow answered, “you were upset and tired, I figured you needed the sleep.”
“Thanks Wills, but you didn’t have to sleep on the floor. You should have woken me and told me to move.”
“I didn’t mind,” Willow told her, “now eat. You need the energy.”
Buffy started eating, taking just small bites to be safe. The two girls sat in silence while they ate. Buffy finished every bite on her plate. She put the dish in the dishwasher,
“Thanks Willow, that was-“ she stopped talking when she felt that tell- tale turning of her stomach. She mumbled an “oh god” before rushing for the stairs. She hurried to the bathroom, just making it on time. Willow ran upstairs behind her and got to the door just as Buffy threw her breakfast back up. When she was done Buffy turned sheepishly to Willow
“I’m sorry, breakfast was great I swear.”
Willow couldn’t help but laugh, “Don’t worry Buffy. I’m not going to yell just because you were sick after eating my cooking. I never yell at all, or hadn’t you noticed?”
“Thanks,” Buffy got up and gave Willow a hug “you’re the best Wills, I’m glad you’re here.”
“Me too, and Buffy I’ll help you out, you know. Whatever you decide to do about the baby, I’ll be there for you.”
“I know, thanks. But Willow, I do need to decide what I’m going to do, will you help?” she asked.
“Of course I will,” Willow nodded, putting an arm around her best friend.
Spike went to the top of the basement stairs and looked down. No Buffy. He didn’t have any idea where she was. He had come down hoping that maybe she had come home after he had gone to bed but apparently not. And he was worried that perhaps she had wandered the streets all night. What if something had happened to her? What if she had done something to herself? She had tried once before and there was no doubt in Spike’s mind that she would do it again. And that made his mind up; he grabbed his duster and car keys and was out the door in less than a minute.
Buffy and Willow had spent the last 2 and a half hours discussing her options. They had gone on the internet and looked up information on abortion, adoption, teen pregnancy and being a single parent in your teens. They had printed off around a hundred pages and were now going through it together.
Buffy had already discarded the idea of abortion, saying that she could never kill her child. Even if she was only a few weeks pregnant, in Buffy’s eyes it was still a living being: a human life growing inside of her, and that meant something. She just thought that if she had an abortion she would feel like she was committing a murder and she could never live with herself if she did it.
So she was left with two options: adoption or bringing the baby up herself.
“It says here Buffy that there are a few different ways to go about having your baby adopted. If you do it privately, through an agency you can even choose the family that will adopt it. If you decided to do it then you would know exactly whom your baby was going to. It would be someone that you were sure was going to look after your baby; someone nice and caring that would give your baby everything it could ever need or want.”
Buffy nodded “that sounds pretty cool.”
“Yeah but that could be difficult to do because you would probably have certain fees and stuff to pay. But, there is also state adoption. With that you don’t really have any say. You don’t know who adopts the baby or any of that stuff.”
“I don’t know if I like that. Even the first one; I mean just because I’m 18 and single doesn’t mean that I can’t love my baby. My biggest fear is that I will end up like my mom is with me and treat a child badly. But who’s to say that I would be a bad mom or that somebody else could love this baby more or better than I could just because they’re married or have more money or whatever? The baby might go to a family with more money but that doesn’t necessarily mean better,” Buffy said obviously upset.
“Of course not Buffy. I’m sure you would be an amazing mother. But we’re just looking at your options. You don’t have to decide right now. I just wanted to tell you that you can keep the baby or that if you can find a way to do so then you can have a say if you decide to go with adoption,” Willow said trying to calm her down.
“No you’re right,” Buffy said, “I want to do that.”
Spike got home at about 5:30pm; he had been out looking for Buffy for over five hours. He had searched every street and store in Sunnydale to no avail. He hadn’t seen her anywhere and none of the friends she had were home. So that wasn’t any help at all. She was nowhere to be found.
He sat his duster on the edge of the couch and went to the kitchen to get a beer and calm him a bit. When he was in there he heard a noise coming from the basement. He went over and opened the door that led down there; he looked down and saw Buffy, lying on the bed reading a magazine humming a tune. His heart leapt into his throat when he saw her and he rushed down the steps
“Where the bloody hell have you been?” he demanded when he reached the bottom.
She looked up at him and shrugged “I slept at Willow’s.”
“You should have called,” he told her.
“Why? Were you worried Spike? Did you think I was gonna off myself?” seeing the look on his face she laughed, “Don’t worry Spike, I won’t do anything stupid.”
“I’m sorry Buffy, but just because you were upset-“
“Upset,” she yelled, “No, I was heartbroken. But Spike you broke up with me, so you have no right to know where I was or what I was doing. And you don’t have the right to worry. I’m not you’re concern anymore,” she flipped onto her side looking away from him.
“I meant what I said last night,”
“What that you loved me?” she asked standing up, “well you still dumped me so that’s your problem. I don’t have to tell you ever again where I was, who I was with or what I was doing with them.”
“So, were you even with Willow? Sure you weren’t out spreading your legs for whatever guys came along?” he asked angrily.
Buffy’s eyes filled with tears, “you asshole,” she said in what was only a whisper. He saw the look on her face and immediately regretted his words.
“Buffy, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean that. I love you I do.”
“Are you going to break up with mom then?” she asked him.
“No,” he answered quietly.
“Then it doesn’t matter. I think you should go. I made my decision and you made yours.”
He nodded resigned; he stood up and looked down at her “I do love you Buffy.”
“Yeah, me too.” She watched him walk back upstairs barely containing her tears.
Chapter 11: Revelations
The next two weeks had passed with Buffy once again doing her best to avoid Spike. It just hurt her too much to see him every day, she kept thinking about the life inside of her, the fact that Spike had helped create it and it made the pain so much worse. She wanted him to be a part of this, but for him to know when he didn’t want to be with her could only make the situation harder. At least if she dealt with it alone she knew she wouldn’t be hurt. The moment she had decided in Willow’s that day that she was going to raise her child, she had determined that she may not have a lot of money ands material things to give her child, but she would give it all the love she could. But, she wouldn’t let herself go through the pain of having her and her child rejected in favour of her mother. Okay, so she didn’t know that Spike would make that choice if he knew, but he had made that choice now. And if she told him, she didn’t want him to decide to be with her simply because she was pregnant and he felt guilty. No, she would manage alone.
Buffy had also been a voiding Drusilla; she stayed over at Willow’s as often as she could. So there had been no real beatings in a while, maybe a slap here and there. Most of the time now it was insults and cutting words. Buffy was just glad that was all, the thought of Dusilla beating her and possibly hurting the baby terrified Buffy, she didn’t even like to think of that ever happening. But thus far she had been lucky. She just hoped her luck would hold up. But she never could be sure where her mother was concerned; she was very unpredictable in that manner. So Buffy kept her fingers crossed and hoped for the best.
Drusilla was still biding her time since her decision to get Buffy back at Christmas. She was trying to find out as much as possible about what was going on, or at least what she suspected to be going on. But she did make a point of rubbing her relationship with Spike in her daughter’s face whenever she could. Although she wasn’t around much anymore, but when she was she could see the jealousy written in her face. And she loved seeing it.
Buffy and Willow sat at their usual table in the cafeteria whispering between themselves about Buffy’s pregnancy. Xander looked on silently, he still had no idea what was going on, only that they had a secret that ha had been left out off. Buffy had contemplated telling him, but at the moment she felt like the fewer people who knew the better. So, for now she wanted to keep it just between her and Willow. Just for a while, until she was ready for other people to know.
Spike didn’t know what to do, he hardly saw Buffy anymore and he knew maybe that was for the best, but when he did see her he wanted her more than he’d ever wanted anyone in his life. He was trying with Drusilla, and he had noticed her becoming increasingly affectionate with him and he did try. But it was hard, being with her and knowing that all he wanted to do was go and be with Buffy. He tortured himself with his decision every day, but he had decided he couldn’t hurt Drusilla; she needed him. He just hated himself for hurting Buffy. And as he walked, that was the thought that plagued his mind.
“So, have you thought about going to a doctor yet?” Willow asked as she walked Buffy home later that afternoon.
“No, I know I have to go I guess I just want to put it off as long as possible.”
“It’ll be okay Buffy, for starters you’re 18, and the doctor can’t tell your mom anything. It’s completely confidential,” Willow was doing here best to reassure her friend. She knew how wary Buffy was about anybody knowing she was pregnant just yet. But she also thought it was the best thing for Buffy to go to the doctor. The sooner the better, in Willow’s mind it was better to get it over with.
“Yeah I know it’s just weird. It’s like; when I go to the doctor it’s official. I mean I know I’m pregnant and I know I want to keep it, it’s just that at the moment it’s still like a dream. When it’s confirmed I have to wake up and face all kinds of realities.”
Willow stopped for a minute to pull Buffy into a hug,
“You know I’ll be there for you, I’m your best friend and if you need me I’m right here,” Willow reminded her as they started walking again at a slow pace.
“Thanks Wills. And I promise, I’ll make that appointment soon.”
“Ok,” Willow smiled.
They walked the rest of the way in friendly silence.
Buffy lay on the bed reading for school, thankfully her mom hadn’t been home when she got in so she had managed to get downstairs easily. Which is where she had been for the past hour. She felt ill, her sickness wasn’t getting any better, and she didn’t bother calling it morning sickness because that wasn’t the only time she got it. She was trying to do homework to try and take her mind off how bad she felt. Unfortunately it wasn’t working, she could tell the contents wanted to make an appearance so she stood up from the bed and ran for the upstairs bathroom.
Drusilla walked in the door as Buffy reached the top of the stairs. She heard Buffy start to throw up, it wasn’t the first time, and she had heard her several times over the last few weeks. She had also heard Buffy and Spike a couple of weeks ago, talking in the basement. She had heard the words Spike had spoken to her, telling her that he loved her and her replying in kind. But she had also heard him tell her that he wouldn’t be with her. And that had only served to make Drusilla even smugger. But it didn’t take a genius to figure out what was wrong with Buffy, and that would be all the proof she needed, an admission of guilt and she could get her own back.
She waited at the bottom of the steps until Buffy came out of the bathroom, she saw her daughter visibly flinch upon seeing her. She gave her a sickly sweet smile and motioned for her to come down stairs, the minute she reached the bottom the smile disappeared and Drusilla grabbed her wrist, her nails digging into the flesh.
Buffy’s eyes widened as her mother’s grip tightened, she kept thinking over and over about what her mother was going to do, but she knew she had to stay alert so she could defend herself and her child if she had to.
“You little slut, what’s wrong with you?”
“N- nothing,” Buffy stammered.
“Liar,” Drusilla screeched, lashing out and slapping her across the face.
“I’m not lying I swear.”
“Yes you are you little bitch,” Drusilla grabbed her by the hair, “you think I don’t know what you’ve been up to? Throwing up all the time, only means one thing when it comes to a whore like you,” Drusilla tugged herd at her hair and brought Buffy to her knees.
“Mom, please stop,” Buffy begged.
“Then tell me, admit tell me you are,” Drusilla commanded
“Ok, ok, I am,” Buffy knew what she meant, “I’m pregnant, now please let me go.”
Drusilla pulled her back up by the hair and punched her in the face, “You whore, who’s the father?”
“I don’t know,” Buffy lied.
Another punch, “Don’t you tell me lies, who?”
Spike heard yelling as he walked up the garden path, he ran up to the door but thought it would be better to enter unnoticed, so he went round to the back door and snuck in. He stood in the doorway and listened, horrified at the sight of Drusilla attacking Buffy, he wondered what she was yelling about and the he heard Buffy say those two words. He was stunned, she had never told him, and as much as he thought he should be hurt by that he was taken over by fear of what Drusilla would do. And the he heard the question,
“Who’s the father?” he watched as Buffy denied knowledge, but he knew. And so when Drusilla demanded once more to be told he walked out of the kitchen, grabbed her wrist pulling her off of Buffy and looking her square in the eye as he answered,
“I am.”