(no subject)
I don't know how I feel, nor do I know how I should feel right now. I'm so bummed. I'm aggravated. I'm worried. I feel used. or maybe.. thrown away? Insignificant.. I feel like I need to cry, but the tears won't form because part of me is more angry than sad. What a shitty day. I'm tired and need to sleep, but how can I sleep on this. I'll probably wind up being awake until 5AM.. in which situation I may night sleep tonight because Jamez's band is playing on the news at 6AM and I wanna be up to watch them. I'm also supposed to go somewhere with Cara for breakfast around 10. So no going back to sleep. I have to clean the bathroom too, didn't do it today. I wasn't up for it.
Then I went in to work bc Briana needed her shift covered and she is covering my shift Sunday so I didn't wanna say no. But work sucked it. I messed everything up that I could've messed up. Refunds. Wrong orders. I made a hundred barista drinks. I made a few too many bc people were confusing me. I just wasn't there today. Not one bit. My manager, Jesse, asked me if I was hittin the crack pipe before work. I'm glad he's cool or he may have chopped my head off for screwing up so much tonight. Instead, he randomly head-butts me in the arm every little while when I don't notice he's around.
Yesterday was Panera's company picnic to Knoebles. Alyshia drove Chris, Jamez, and I, we had a pretty good time. Lauren & Dom were also there, we went on some rides together. We hung out with Jeff a lot and his girlfriend and their son, Zander, who is absolutely adorable. JD came, which was nice bc I haven't seen him pretty much all summer bc he's been living in an apartment/house at ESU & working at their Panera.
Fuck getting older. I don't wanna. I hope we stay friends in the long run. If I make it that far.
Then I went in to work bc Briana needed her shift covered and she is covering my shift Sunday so I didn't wanna say no. But work sucked it. I messed everything up that I could've messed up. Refunds. Wrong orders. I made a hundred barista drinks. I made a few too many bc people were confusing me. I just wasn't there today. Not one bit. My manager, Jesse, asked me if I was hittin the crack pipe before work. I'm glad he's cool or he may have chopped my head off for screwing up so much tonight. Instead, he randomly head-butts me in the arm every little while when I don't notice he's around.
Yesterday was Panera's company picnic to Knoebles. Alyshia drove Chris, Jamez, and I, we had a pretty good time. Lauren & Dom were also there, we went on some rides together. We hung out with Jeff a lot and his girlfriend and their son, Zander, who is absolutely adorable. JD came, which was nice bc I haven't seen him pretty much all summer bc he's been living in an apartment/house at ESU & working at their Panera.
Fuck getting older. I don't wanna. I hope we stay friends in the long run. If I make it that far.