general ramble
Ok, before I go any further. I need to show you something cool.
http://www.aintitcool.com/node/43605
I love it when a plan comes together indeed.
Having a bad day today. A peculiarity of my psychology seems to be to look towards the future and certain upcoming situations and imagine the worst possible outcome. I will then take this worst possible outcome and get angry about the imagined situations that come up. I will go from there to imagine further situations following on from that and procede to get angry about that as well. Before I know where I am, I'm pissed, upset and generally want to retreat from the world.
In this particular instance, (sorry for being vague) everything is moving in the right direction, people are acting in the right way rather than in my imagined way and I know what the solutions to all of my problems are. Normally I would think about what these problems are and think, "Is there anything I can do about it right now? if the answer is yes then I will do that. If the answer is no then I will stop worrying about it and get on with life.
Can't seem to do this today.
Stupid brain.
Recently I've been noticing a slow but subtle shift in myself. Partly this is due to the fact that I'm getting older and things that I used to swear that I would never do are now becoming attractive. Although I still feel no desire to spend my weekends at garden centres (a common childhood torture) or shopping for stuff that I don't really want or need (don't you think that cabinet would look nice in that corner dear? yes and then we can use it to store our sunday best china in that we NEVER USE. Not that I'm against sunday best dinner plates, providing they get used.) But things like, I no longer feel any desire to go out clubbing, or go out and get REALLY drunk. I'm fairly confident that role-playing every night of the week would kill me which is something I used to do.
Increasingly my idea of a good night is a night in with a good movie or a good book, alongside the woman that I love.
A significant chunk of this is undoubtedly down to the fact that I'm a real person now and I have a job that I need to get up for and at the moment I only seem to be able to drink enough to put myself in the mood to start seriously drinking before I know I should stop. Going out seems to be a bad idea.
But that's not the only change that I feel comin on.
The Impending ending of VIP in it's current iteration has given me a lot to think about. As well as looking forward (hopefully) to being able to play the new VIP (if any), in whatever form it takes, there is the slow realisation that this has been a significant part of my life for nearly six years. This comes with some frightening statistics. Running every other week for 5 years (not counting this year), comes down to something like 75 regular Vip sessions actually run, with another 35 Sundays given over to the running of the game. I reckon we've averaged 20 downtime responces per downtime session which would put us at a grand total of 750 downtime responces done. A couple of socials, a few saturdays, the Medieval VIP experiment. Uncountable pints of beer at the Moorlands hotel and the bobbin. At least 1 complete tree that will have had to be sacrificed to the printing of ref guides, adventures and downtimes. Uncountable words written, re-written, argued over, written again, lost, found, consigned to the compost pit that was my old room, found again, laughed at...etc.
Incidentally, those statistics are just a rough approximation of my time spent in VIP. Madfae's statistics are even more frightening.
But since I've had to come to terms with the fact that this section of my life is coming to an end, I've been thinking about what to do next. (You may think I'm being melodramatic, and mybe I am, but I would remind you again that this is nearly six years of my life we're talking about. That's over a fifth of my life) After all that's an awful lot of Sundays that are now free.
Also I'm changing creatively as well. Over the last few years the number of idea's that I spontaneously manifest have changed in nature. Whereas previously I would say, "That would be an interesting idea for a game," now I say, "That's an interesting idea for a story,"
Although, in one way I find this a little sad, I also find it oddly exciting and I also wonder what it means and where I'm going with this.
I don't intend to stop reffing, (although my days of system reffing anything are almost certainly over unless something unexpected comes along) as I still have many ideas for many campaigns that I still want to run (Star Trek anyone?) but still this is something to think about.
I'm not going anywhere with this, more thinking aloud, but I will let people know how this develops.
Yours in hope for a better world
Spike
Soylens Viridis Homines est
http://www.aintitcool.com/node/43605
I love it when a plan comes together indeed.
Having a bad day today. A peculiarity of my psychology seems to be to look towards the future and certain upcoming situations and imagine the worst possible outcome. I will then take this worst possible outcome and get angry about the imagined situations that come up. I will go from there to imagine further situations following on from that and procede to get angry about that as well. Before I know where I am, I'm pissed, upset and generally want to retreat from the world.
In this particular instance, (sorry for being vague) everything is moving in the right direction, people are acting in the right way rather than in my imagined way and I know what the solutions to all of my problems are. Normally I would think about what these problems are and think, "Is there anything I can do about it right now? if the answer is yes then I will do that. If the answer is no then I will stop worrying about it and get on with life.
Can't seem to do this today.
Stupid brain.
Recently I've been noticing a slow but subtle shift in myself. Partly this is due to the fact that I'm getting older and things that I used to swear that I would never do are now becoming attractive. Although I still feel no desire to spend my weekends at garden centres (a common childhood torture) or shopping for stuff that I don't really want or need (don't you think that cabinet would look nice in that corner dear? yes and then we can use it to store our sunday best china in that we NEVER USE. Not that I'm against sunday best dinner plates, providing they get used.) But things like, I no longer feel any desire to go out clubbing, or go out and get REALLY drunk. I'm fairly confident that role-playing every night of the week would kill me which is something I used to do.
Increasingly my idea of a good night is a night in with a good movie or a good book, alongside the woman that I love.
A significant chunk of this is undoubtedly down to the fact that I'm a real person now and I have a job that I need to get up for and at the moment I only seem to be able to drink enough to put myself in the mood to start seriously drinking before I know I should stop. Going out seems to be a bad idea.
But that's not the only change that I feel comin on.
The Impending ending of VIP in it's current iteration has given me a lot to think about. As well as looking forward (hopefully) to being able to play the new VIP (if any), in whatever form it takes, there is the slow realisation that this has been a significant part of my life for nearly six years. This comes with some frightening statistics. Running every other week for 5 years (not counting this year), comes down to something like 75 regular Vip sessions actually run, with another 35 Sundays given over to the running of the game. I reckon we've averaged 20 downtime responces per downtime session which would put us at a grand total of 750 downtime responces done. A couple of socials, a few saturdays, the Medieval VIP experiment. Uncountable pints of beer at the Moorlands hotel and the bobbin. At least 1 complete tree that will have had to be sacrificed to the printing of ref guides, adventures and downtimes. Uncountable words written, re-written, argued over, written again, lost, found, consigned to the compost pit that was my old room, found again, laughed at...etc.
Incidentally, those statistics are just a rough approximation of my time spent in VIP. Madfae's statistics are even more frightening.
But since I've had to come to terms with the fact that this section of my life is coming to an end, I've been thinking about what to do next. (You may think I'm being melodramatic, and mybe I am, but I would remind you again that this is nearly six years of my life we're talking about. That's over a fifth of my life) After all that's an awful lot of Sundays that are now free.
Also I'm changing creatively as well. Over the last few years the number of idea's that I spontaneously manifest have changed in nature. Whereas previously I would say, "That would be an interesting idea for a game," now I say, "That's an interesting idea for a story,"
Although, in one way I find this a little sad, I also find it oddly exciting and I also wonder what it means and where I'm going with this.
I don't intend to stop reffing, (although my days of system reffing anything are almost certainly over unless something unexpected comes along) as I still have many ideas for many campaigns that I still want to run (Star Trek anyone?) but still this is something to think about.
I'm not going anywhere with this, more thinking aloud, but I will let people know how this develops.
Yours in hope for a better world
Spike
Soylens Viridis Homines est