Today is cancelled; here's a joke instead.

[spike]

A Martian makes an emergency landing in Brooklyn and finds that a key part of his saucer has been damaged - the all important troover. He goes into a deli and asks the counter man if he knows where he can find a troover. The man asks, "What's it look like?"

The Martian says, "Its round, kind of hard on the outside, soft on the inside, with a little hole in the middle."

The deli man says, "That sounds like a bagel. Here, does this look like what you need?"

The Martian says, "It's perfect! What do you use it for here?"

The deli man says, "Well, you'll probably find it hard to believe, but we eat them here."

The Martian replies, "Your kidding! You eat troovers?"

The deli guy says, "Yeah, here, try one."

The Martian is pretty skeptical, but he takes a bite. "Hey" the Martian says, "with a little cream cheese, this wouldn't be half bad."

- from Plato and a Platypus Walk Into A Bar (Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes)

Or how about this one:

"My grandfather knew the exact time of the exact day of the exact year that he would die."
"Wow, what an evolved soul! How did it come to him?"
"The judge told him."

If you've got a joke to share, the time is now and the place is here!