Soul Mates
You know how on those stupid myspace surveys there's almost always a question that says "Do you believe in soul mates"? If you've ever read the responses to any you will probably notice that most girls say something along the lines of "yes" or "of course I'm just waiting for him to show up!" while boys say something along the lines of "hell no". My answer is normally something in between like "if soul mates existed there wouldn't be so many divorces" or a generic "not really". Of course if you asked me this at varing stages through life I'm sure my answer would have been different. If you asked me when I was 5 I most likely would have said something like "Of course I love Gary his sister married us by the dumpsters yesterday". If you asked me when I was 10 I probably would have said "I don't know maybe, it's not something you can prove, kinda like Santa Clause, you can't prove there is or isn't one, but at one point in time we know there was a guy that started the idea of Santa Clause". At 15 I might have said "I don't know, I'll let you know if I ever make it past 4 months with the same guy". When I was 20 I was engaged and most likely would have said "I don't know if Jamie is my soul mate but I know we're going to be together forever". I don't know what I'll say when I'm 25 but as of right now it would have to be "considering the only guy I think I've ever really and truly had pure feelings for was when I was 5 (Gary) I'm going to have to say no".
I know it's horrible to have lived for 23 years, had an active dating life and never truly been in love. I mean sure I've loved guys, I even love the guy I'm dating. But I haven't had that pure only have eyes for you, head over heel love since I was yes 5 years old which if you are like me think is absoutely nuts and does not count for anyting. What did I know at 5. Maybe more than I know now, I knew that Gary was a boy, and that no matter how many girls he chased around the play ground or how many girl's skirts he looked under while they were swinging their way across the monkey bars I still always played with him everyday after school when we got home. I probably even shared my candy with him. No matter what kinda of crazy thing Gary and I did we stood by each other and never ratted each other out. If we drew all over my play room walls with black crayons (not that I'm saying we did that mom) we never faultered we always pointed to his older sister Leilani. It was always her fault. If that's not love then I don't know what is.
Since I was 5 I have never felt for a guy what I felt for Gary. If you have any sense at all I'm sure you are thinking I am absolutely crazy, and I am. I, however, can back this up. At 5 I was an only child, I still am, and yes I had problems with sharing, still do. But I shared everything with Gary, my favorite Barbie which Gary be-headed, my coloring books, even my snacks. You can ask any guys I've dated since 9th grade. I don't share snacks. I'm sure if I still played with Barbies, I wouldn't share them either. If we drew all over my parent's walls I'm sure I'd tell them that the guy that helped did it all by himself. Maybe I've just grown up and learned from my mistakes, let a boy play with your toys they break them. I also may have learned my lesson about sharing my snack with a boy, share a snack with a boy and it most likely means they eat it all I get nothing. Nope, I just haven't found another guy I really WANT to share my snack with.
If there is such a thing as soul mates then let me tell you Gary was mine.
I know it's horrible to have lived for 23 years, had an active dating life and never truly been in love. I mean sure I've loved guys, I even love the guy I'm dating. But I haven't had that pure only have eyes for you, head over heel love since I was yes 5 years old which if you are like me think is absoutely nuts and does not count for anyting. What did I know at 5. Maybe more than I know now, I knew that Gary was a boy, and that no matter how many girls he chased around the play ground or how many girl's skirts he looked under while they were swinging their way across the monkey bars I still always played with him everyday after school when we got home. I probably even shared my candy with him. No matter what kinda of crazy thing Gary and I did we stood by each other and never ratted each other out. If we drew all over my play room walls with black crayons (not that I'm saying we did that mom) we never faultered we always pointed to his older sister Leilani. It was always her fault. If that's not love then I don't know what is.
Since I was 5 I have never felt for a guy what I felt for Gary. If you have any sense at all I'm sure you are thinking I am absolutely crazy, and I am. I, however, can back this up. At 5 I was an only child, I still am, and yes I had problems with sharing, still do. But I shared everything with Gary, my favorite Barbie which Gary be-headed, my coloring books, even my snacks. You can ask any guys I've dated since 9th grade. I don't share snacks. I'm sure if I still played with Barbies, I wouldn't share them either. If we drew all over my parent's walls I'm sure I'd tell them that the guy that helped did it all by himself. Maybe I've just grown up and learned from my mistakes, let a boy play with your toys they break them. I also may have learned my lesson about sharing my snack with a boy, share a snack with a boy and it most likely means they eat it all I get nothing. Nope, I just haven't found another guy I really WANT to share my snack with.
If there is such a thing as soul mates then let me tell you Gary was mine.