rambling

[spiffy04]

I just saw an old friend of mine that I haven't seen for about two years. Weird how much people can change over a short period of time. I always thought to myself that time never really moves fast enough. Sometimes I catch myself saying "Why can't today be over with?? Why?” What is so horrible with today that tomorrow will be any better? It's almost as if tomorrow is a glimpse of the future, something I am about to become. I think it is about on the same line as going to school for years at a time. Why am I here? What am I doing? Honestly, how am I going to change the greater good of humanity with my presence? I really hope that one day I will be able to. However, you know how that works out... "Why me? Why now? Will it ever end?" It's like an agonizing pain from your toes to the ends of your hair... never ending... and not quiet sure when it began. Someday I will look back on what I've done an hopefully the only thing I will be able to think about then will be how well I have been able to cope with my life and my surroundings. Sometimes I feel like when I type something on the computer it's as if I don't even need to look at the computer but the computer can read the thoughts from my head. I feel like a blind person with no where to go but to grace the keys with the presence of my fingers. I don’t let myself use capital I’s when typing because it closes the flow of the typing. Thanks to Word, it capitalizes them for me. But that’s just because we’ve turned into such a lazy existence that we can’t even capitalize our own I’s. So who really is to say that tomorrow will be another day for anyone. Out of the billions of people that inhabit the Earth, I honestly cannot believe that one of us is more special than the other. I do believe that people have the ability to be better than one another in many aspects of life, but I honestly think it to be cruel to say to our children that yes, one day you can be president. Who really wants to live on false hope? I’m tired of hearing that because these days, unless you are from a wealthy family, there are hardly any chances for that child to be president unless they’re a minority. And since when does being a minority make anyone better than me? Why should people get money based on the color of their skin, or their heritage? There aren’t any Mutt Scholarships out there. I believe that scholarships that are based on your heritage or skin color aren’t constitutionally right. I just have a bad feeling that if someone came up with a scholarship to reward those who are white and have no income would be an abomination. It feels as though because they pay for college out of their own pocket and because they’re parents are in such a financial state that they themselves can’t put food on the table everyday of the week, that someone in that case should get money. But no, the $50,000 income that the father gets makes the person not able to get a scholarship because it states that their father should be able to help with an estimated $30,000 worth of school. But no where in the income does it state the loss of a job for 4 months and the unemployment checks. I don’t notice where it says deductions for those who go through divorce and have to eat cereal out of the box for breakfast and lunch and ramen noodles for dinner. It honestly sickens me that people really are forced to live this way. Now you have to sit and count your change from tips, because every penny counts. Currently with my salary at Starbucks, everyone’s morning pride and joy, is a disgrace to what I would call a salary. They pride themselves on the fact that with the benefits package one can receive with working only 20 hours a week, one is set for life. That is, until you start really putting your time into the company. And then your chances for going anywhere in the company lessen, and then randomly they cut your hours. Oh, and people also start being not so nice and their lives are being lived so rich that they can’t leave you a tip. But then again, who wants to tip on their $5 latte? I sure as hell would, but that’s because I know the hardship for the Starbucksian. That’s all really. Time to go back to work.


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