To recap.
- I went to church with Chels, and it was utterly lame and reminded me of why I rarely go to church. (NOT AT ALL because I have fallen away from my faith. I just can’t stomach the cheesy mindlessness of it all, and the same sermons on the same things every week.) But it was nice to go. I felt good about it. And it was short, so no big loss.
- Afterward, Chels and I drove to Susan’s and watched The Lonely Island videos… like a boss.
- Then we went to Ted’s for lunch, because Trav wanted us to come visit him. He is a host there. We walked in the door to his shoving us back out, saying that he didn’t serve the likes of us. We went in anyway.
- Chels put American Flag toothpicks on her boobs. I may or may not post a picture of it. It’s really too bad this didn’t happen yesterday.
- The waitstaff came by in sequence to see said flag boobs, and according to our waiter, one of them took a picture to send in to Tosh.0.
- We had the most delicious strawberry shortcake ever in the history of time.
- I tried bison meat. It tasted like meat. My lackluster response got me in trouble with Trav and Susan. So what? I don’t care. It tasted like meat.
- I asked Trav what one of the cute waiters’ “deal” was, and he informed me that they just had a fight about something and basically said he isn’t worthy of my affections, and then said that he flirts with everyone, male or female. I said oh well! He should come let me comfort him from being lectured by you.
- Minutes later, cute waiter comes up to our table. “Hi ladies! So I heard that one of you has a question for me…?” And Susan and Chels turned me in. At which point cute waiter sits down beside me and makes small talk.
- Our waiter comes by and faux-whispers things to cute waiter about how I have a crush on him.
- Our waiter comes by again and faux-whispers that I’m unhappy that so many layers of clothes are between us. Cute waiter proceeds to lean into me and snuggle me with the most adorable grin EVARRR.
- Chels informs cute waiter that I am wearing a dress… and then says, out loud, “easy access.”
- Cute waiter is like whoa whoa, it’s only 2 in the afternoon!
- I am like, “Afternoon delight?”
- Cute waiter says sometimes sex in the afternoon is the best kind.
- We laugh some more, and Chels shows cute waiter the drawings of boobs she put on the paper on the table… and the moldings of boobs she made out of the art supplies Trav brought for us to play with.
- Cute waiter gets uncomfortable and says basically, “it’s been fun” before bolting.
- I say, “Thank you for your time.” Then our waiter comes by and asks me when we’re going out, and I say never. Boo! Cutie didn’t ask. Probably because my friends are clinically insane.
- Susan and I go to the movies to see Vampires Suck, and the first 20 minutes or so are HYSTERICAL, and the rest is just kind of silly.
Time for laundry and possible naptime.
- Afterward, Chels and I drove to Susan’s and watched The Lonely Island videos… like a boss.
- Then we went to Ted’s for lunch, because Trav wanted us to come visit him. He is a host there. We walked in the door to his shoving us back out, saying that he didn’t serve the likes of us. We went in anyway.
- Chels put American Flag toothpicks on her boobs. I may or may not post a picture of it. It’s really too bad this didn’t happen yesterday.
- The waitstaff came by in sequence to see said flag boobs, and according to our waiter, one of them took a picture to send in to Tosh.0.
- We had the most delicious strawberry shortcake ever in the history of time.
- I tried bison meat. It tasted like meat. My lackluster response got me in trouble with Trav and Susan. So what? I don’t care. It tasted like meat.
- I asked Trav what one of the cute waiters’ “deal” was, and he informed me that they just had a fight about something and basically said he isn’t worthy of my affections, and then said that he flirts with everyone, male or female. I said oh well! He should come let me comfort him from being lectured by you.
- Minutes later, cute waiter comes up to our table. “Hi ladies! So I heard that one of you has a question for me…?” And Susan and Chels turned me in. At which point cute waiter sits down beside me and makes small talk.
- Our waiter comes by and faux-whispers things to cute waiter about how I have a crush on him.
- Our waiter comes by again and faux-whispers that I’m unhappy that so many layers of clothes are between us. Cute waiter proceeds to lean into me and snuggle me with the most adorable grin EVARRR.
- Chels informs cute waiter that I am wearing a dress… and then says, out loud, “easy access.”
- Cute waiter is like whoa whoa, it’s only 2 in the afternoon!
- I am like, “Afternoon delight?”
- Cute waiter says sometimes sex in the afternoon is the best kind.
- We laugh some more, and Chels shows cute waiter the drawings of boobs she put on the paper on the table… and the moldings of boobs she made out of the art supplies Trav brought for us to play with.
- Cute waiter gets uncomfortable and says basically, “it’s been fun” before bolting.
- I say, “Thank you for your time.” Then our waiter comes by and asks me when we’re going out, and I say never. Boo! Cutie didn’t ask. Probably because my friends are clinically insane.
- Susan and I go to the movies to see Vampires Suck, and the first 20 minutes or so are HYSTERICAL, and the rest is just kind of silly.
Time for laundry and possible naptime.