Men, men, men, men...
ishkid4 was just asking me about some things related to some comments I made on Twitter yesterday (or the other day?), and it got me off on a "rant" about men... and I think I'll bring it here to the journal for all of you to enjoy. Continue at your own risk, gentlemen. :)
Thought #1: I think it's ridiculous - RIDICULOUS - when boys/men (oh, who am I kidding... anyone who does this isn't a man, no matter how old he is) hang posters of half-naked women in their room. This also pertains to calendars, pictures, magazines-on-display, etc.
- It's porn. Honestly, everyone knows what you're doing. It's not a secret! It's just somehow become the acceptable form? No. It's not acceptable. It's lame. Especially if you're over the age of 18. If I come over to your place and see a nude or nude-esque chick on the wall, I will make fun of you to people later. And I'm sure I'm not the only one. Sidenote: If you're into that sort of thing (in other words, if you're a straight man) and you NEED (why? have you no imagination?) to have it around, at LEAST do us, your guests/visitors/female friends, the courtesy of having it in magazine form and HIDING IT. Good grief. It is not impressing anyone that sees it (aside from other men that come over... and in that case, it isn't so much IMPRESSING them as it is turning them on... and do you really want them doing such things while you're around? A thought.). It makes you look like you're living in high school. Like you're still a 12-year-old boy with a squeaky changing voice that can't keep his hand out of his pants. I'm aware your hormones are still raging, BUT you're old enough to be able to control yourself for public viewing. Do so, please! (And no, I did not say to HIDE your porn because I think you need to pretend to be something you're not and put on a show to impress people. I'm talking about general respect for others. A lot (A LOT) of people aren't comfortable with it. They won't necessarily mind if you HAVE it or USE it, but they personally don't want to come into contact with it. Also, see: 3rd section below.)
- This ALSO includes putting such pictures on your social network profiles. Backgrounds on MySpace. Flair on Facebook. Whether it's intended as a joke or not, I scoff at you if you purposefully put a picture of a half-naked woman on your flair board. It makes you look ridiculous.
- This delves into a lot of areas that I don't necessarily need to go into, which is why I left the porn magazines thing untouched. But I do want to get into the feelings it gives us, because I'm sure a lot of you guys either don't know or don't want to know what we really think about it. It's not only pathetically lame and immature, it really does affect a lot of us. I've heard from specific guys during some of my self-deprecation spouts that there's no reason for me to compare myself to women in Hollywood or magazines; that I shouldn't feel like I need to. And yet... you guys feed right into that. I'm not sure if you're aware of it. But you tell us not to be affected and then buy right into those women being sexy and your ideal... so how are we supposed to see it? We aren't that sexy. We aren't your ideal. Normal, everyday girls aren't what you want. And this is just more upfront when you have pictures of them plastered everywhere. You're looking at them, not at us. So we aren't good enough. That's the deeper issue. It's not that we hate sex, or that we hate the fact that you're a sexual being with needs (granted, some women do hate you for that, but they've got their own issues to deal with). We just hate that you would choose that over us. That we can never live up to what you want. And then we hate ourselves for not being what you want. Ya dig? I'm not going to tell you what to do... but I want you to know so you can decide for yourself if that's the way you want the women around you to a) see you and b) feel when around you.
Thought #2 (this one's not so heavy): It's SO LAME when men (and women do this, too) write "women" as an interest on their profiles. (Women sometimes put "men," which is equally stupid.) There is already a space designated for what you're attracted to. Interested in men or interested in women. Or in some cases, the options of "straight," "gay," "bisexual," etc. So why do you feel the need to put it on your profile again? Are you interested in anything other than having sex? Because I'm pretty sure the fact that you want to have sex isn't really that unique. Hint: pretty much EVERYBODY wants to have sex. You don't need to declare that as an interest. Are you interested in actual activities? Skateboarding? Playing music? Football? Reading? I hope so. So why not list those things and leave your object of sexual attraction off the list? In my opinion, it makes you look a lot more together. Less like, again, a 13-year-old boy whose mind is only on one thing 24/7. Even if it is (seek help, there's such a thing as sexual addiction), I'm sure you're into other things as well. Bring those to the forefront. The people reading about your interests want to know about YOU, not what you want in the sack. If they want to know that, they can look at the other section that is there for that purpose.
Personal note: I will highly resist dating any man that does either of these things. I think it's time to grow up and be a man, not a little boy. Be mature about your sexuality, and deal with it accordingly.
Other note: I'm not condemning those who use porn, nor am I condoning the use of it. I know how I feel about it, and a lot of you do, too. I'm not getting into it. You can discuss that with me if you want to know my opinion. Otherwise, we'll leave it at that.
Have a good one, kids!
:)