unsubtle subconscious
Really complex dreams involving roleplaying, being other people, colleges and airports, masks, packing. My dreams are nearly always populated by people who don't exist outside of the dreams, and are full of very, very obvious symbols for transition.
Simon's parents and brothers still think we're engaged, because he hasn't told them that we stopped being engaged or that we broke up. I will probably never understand Simon's secrecy.
I have so many feelings and they seem a lot bigger than I am. Waves of panic-edged sadness. After being asked to pick out a camera for my trip, I dreamed about shooting myself onstage, Bang!, in front of hundreds of people who are searching for meaning, just to prove that sometimes, terrible things happen that aren't anyone's fault. Things just happen. But even if I wrote a letter explaining that there was no reason for shooting myself, the people would still say "she did it because she was crazy", so it wouldn't work as a proof.
anyway it was just a dream.
When I awoke, I repeated to myself, "instead of dying, I'm going to Israel".
I found it calming. As I wait, the wave recedes.
Simon's parents and brothers still think we're engaged, because he hasn't told them that we stopped being engaged or that we broke up. I will probably never understand Simon's secrecy.
I have so many feelings and they seem a lot bigger than I am. Waves of panic-edged sadness. After being asked to pick out a camera for my trip, I dreamed about shooting myself onstage, Bang!, in front of hundreds of people who are searching for meaning, just to prove that sometimes, terrible things happen that aren't anyone's fault. Things just happen. But even if I wrote a letter explaining that there was no reason for shooting myself, the people would still say "she did it because she was crazy", so it wouldn't work as a proof.
anyway it was just a dream.
When I awoke, I repeated to myself, "instead of dying, I'm going to Israel".
I found it calming. As I wait, the wave recedes.