a completely non-dramatic coming out
Apparently I came out as bi today. It's not a very dramatic coming out story, but I feel like coming-out stories belong on LJ. :)
I thought I was already out, but apparently my mom had thought I was joking. Oops!
I've known since forever that being not-straight is a-ok in my family, and coming out (either the first time or again) created much less of a stir than, say, dating a Catholic boy for four years did. Today, my mom was over it in about five minutes -- she was nervous that bi corresponds to promiscuous/unfaithful, but within a couple sentences she remembered that that's not based on orientation, so it's all good. Go mom! My mom already knew that Straight/Bi/Gay was a continuum, but didn't know that women's orientations can shift over time. Threw some light on somebody else she knew, as well.
In general, it doesn't much matter that I'm bi, particularly since I'm marrying a dude, who is also cool with it. It makes me nervous around pretty ladies, but whatcha gonna do.
When I was, like, eleven, I remember I asked my mom how she'd react if I was gay. She said of course she and my dad would love me just the same, although she'd be a little sad for me, because some people are mean to gay people, and because there aren't many lesbians, so it'd be hard to find a Jewish lesbian to marry. (She doesn't even remember this conversation, she was just answering a question, but I sure remembered it.) More recently, I purposely mentioned that conversation to a teenage relative in the more conservative branch of my family, like, just in case -- and then that relative came out to me, and, by phone, to my mom. I still feel proud about that. If you know that your family has some real straight allies in it, why make a kid guess who's who?
I thought I was already out, but apparently my mom had thought I was joking. Oops!
I've known since forever that being not-straight is a-ok in my family, and coming out (either the first time or again) created much less of a stir than, say, dating a Catholic boy for four years did. Today, my mom was over it in about five minutes -- she was nervous that bi corresponds to promiscuous/unfaithful, but within a couple sentences she remembered that that's not based on orientation, so it's all good. Go mom! My mom already knew that Straight/Bi/Gay was a continuum, but didn't know that women's orientations can shift over time. Threw some light on somebody else she knew, as well.
In general, it doesn't much matter that I'm bi, particularly since I'm marrying a dude, who is also cool with it. It makes me nervous around pretty ladies, but whatcha gonna do.
When I was, like, eleven, I remember I asked my mom how she'd react if I was gay. She said of course she and my dad would love me just the same, although she'd be a little sad for me, because some people are mean to gay people, and because there aren't many lesbians, so it'd be hard to find a Jewish lesbian to marry. (She doesn't even remember this conversation, she was just answering a question, but I sure remembered it.) More recently, I purposely mentioned that conversation to a teenage relative in the more conservative branch of my family, like, just in case -- and then that relative came out to me, and, by phone, to my mom. I still feel proud about that. If you know that your family has some real straight allies in it, why make a kid guess who's who?