Ahh don't read this people....it's just me sounding off

[spifferdoodle]

Sometimes I feel like I'm going to have a nervous breakdown over the stupidest things. I don't get why some things happen. I don't get guys for the most part. I don't get why the do or don't do certain things. I don't understand why I fall for certain people, but usually I pay for it in the end. I just want to be happy. I'm not saying that I'm not a happy person because I am happy. It's just.... I want to share my happiness with someone else. It seems like when I think I find that someone else, things fall appart. Maybe I'm just imagining things. Maybe I just fall for people too easily. Maybe I just don't know when to give up. I think that's one of my biggest problems. I hold onto things that I maybe shouldn't. How long is too long to wait for someone? How many times is too many to wait for them to come around? I don't like playing the fool.

Guys aren't the only thing that drives me to the brink of insanity. My family does as well. I don't get them. Sometimes I think I must be adopted, but I know I'm not. I need freedom. I need to get away, but I can't. I hate it here. I want to go away and never come back. That's not a good feeling to have. I'd rather live anywhere but here. In my mind I think if I move somewhere else that will solve all my problems. Realistically I know this is impossible, but I still fantsize this is true.

Ahh you know...letting this stuff out makes me feel better. I should do this more often. =)