(no subject)
Da real Jimmer: FATHER!! your back from Peru... we thought you had been run over by an elivator
Da real Jimmer: SAY SOMETHING
Da real Jimmer: AAAAAAHHHHHHH
Da real Jimmer: IT SAYS YOUR TYPING BUT YOU NEVER ENTER TEXT
Da real Jimmer: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
Da real Jimmer: i'm not high strung
spiff2the rescue: no son...i wasn't run over by an elevator. or an elivator for that matter. your mother and i have decided that you know the truth. when you were born i was devistated. i thought my accident at the sawmill had perminately rendered me steril. what i didn't know is that part of the glad that makes the fluid the semen swim remained instact just a bit and there were a few rebels waiting for their escape. but thats not teh point. i ran. and i ran. i ran so far awaaaaay. your mother was yelling 'pedro....pedro' (that was the pet name she gave me) 'come back! we'll get the money we need if we sell it to rauuuuuul' but it was useless. i was long gone. for almost 17 years i've been working in an underground mine training rats for the chilean secret service for use in its domestic wire-tapping program....don't ask me how it works its still classified. when i learned of your coming of age i decided to find your mother. she didn't want to take me back but 6 rock-hard abs and 3 shots later i was back in the game. i didn't remember what sex you were so i had two names picked out for your return....'hi fred' or 'hi sally....i'm your father' and not in that darth vader voice but a cool voice like something out of saturday night live or a game show. something with spunk that would make you think....'wow....my dad is awesome. and i totally forgive him'. unfortunately i couldn't say anything like that because some of the rats got out of their cages, started to multiply, and formed their own anarchist group (contradicting i know but its rats)...they rebeled against me and chewed out my vocal chords whilst sleeping. so alas i cannot embrace you with my voice. so sally/fred, here i am. one more thing...your mother wanted me to tell you that she went out to buy one of those vibrating chairs with some of your college funds....don't worry, i'm sure we can get someone to pay to fuck you sometime.
Da real Jimmer: HOLY SHIT
Da real Jimmer: THATS WHY
Da real Jimmer: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Da real Jimmer: SAY SOMETHING
Da real Jimmer: AAAAAAHHHHHHH
Da real Jimmer: IT SAYS YOUR TYPING BUT YOU NEVER ENTER TEXT
Da real Jimmer: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
Da real Jimmer: i'm not high strung
spiff2the rescue: no son...i wasn't run over by an elevator. or an elivator for that matter. your mother and i have decided that you know the truth. when you were born i was devistated. i thought my accident at the sawmill had perminately rendered me steril. what i didn't know is that part of the glad that makes the fluid the semen swim remained instact just a bit and there were a few rebels waiting for their escape. but thats not teh point. i ran. and i ran. i ran so far awaaaaay. your mother was yelling 'pedro....pedro' (that was the pet name she gave me) 'come back! we'll get the money we need if we sell it to rauuuuuul' but it was useless. i was long gone. for almost 17 years i've been working in an underground mine training rats for the chilean secret service for use in its domestic wire-tapping program....don't ask me how it works its still classified. when i learned of your coming of age i decided to find your mother. she didn't want to take me back but 6 rock-hard abs and 3 shots later i was back in the game. i didn't remember what sex you were so i had two names picked out for your return....'hi fred' or 'hi sally....i'm your father' and not in that darth vader voice but a cool voice like something out of saturday night live or a game show. something with spunk that would make you think....'wow....my dad is awesome. and i totally forgive him'. unfortunately i couldn't say anything like that because some of the rats got out of their cages, started to multiply, and formed their own anarchist group (contradicting i know but its rats)...they rebeled against me and chewed out my vocal chords whilst sleeping. so alas i cannot embrace you with my voice. so sally/fred, here i am. one more thing...your mother wanted me to tell you that she went out to buy one of those vibrating chairs with some of your college funds....don't worry, i'm sure we can get someone to pay to fuck you sometime.
Da real Jimmer: HOLY SHIT
Da real Jimmer: THATS WHY
Da real Jimmer: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA