COWT; Week 6; Drabble(?)-a-thon 2019
Critical Role; Beau/Jess; Trouble; 580
Beau isn't really used to travelling with people, and even her tentative alliance with Jester and Fjord puts her on edge. She doesn't really know how to act with them, nor how much of herself she can open up. After all, she thinks, people have only disappointed her time and time again. It's better not to get too close.
It was one job, and nothing more.
Still, they're tired and Beau took the job because she was almost penniless, so when the inn told them they only had two rooms and Jester asked her if she wanted to share, Beaus shrugged and went with it.
She should have probably checked a little bit more, or maybe asked some other questions, but she was covered in snake blood and only wanted to sleep until she could pass out. And then they entered their room.
Oh.
"There's only one bed," Jester points out, rather unhelpfully. She doesn't sound too upset, but Beau knows her type. She seems sweet, even if a little odd, but she reeks of money. She will want the bed to herself, and Beau will be forced to sleep on the floor. Not the worst place she's ever slept on, but there are muscle aching in her body that she didn't even know she had. A bed, as lumpy as this was, sounded divine.
Disappointment isn't something new for her.
"I can take the floor," Beau sighs, walking toward one of the corners. Her bag will be a good enough cushion as any, and it's only for one night.
Jester doesn't say anything for a second before she asks, confused. "Do I smell? I mean. I probably smell, but I can take a bath."
Beau turns towards her, surprised, and blinks. "What?"
Jester doesn't stop: "Or maybe do you think I'm fat? That's rude Beau!"
"No! What? I don't, I swe- what's happening?" Beau wonders, unable to fully comprehend what was going on. Jester puffs her cheeks for a second, looking positively furious, before she smiles.
"Just kidding! But we can sleep together on the bed. We don't smell, and it's big enough," Jester says in the end, walking towards the bed.
Beau blinks and wonders what's happening exactly. She knows Jester is strange, if sweet, and now Beau is taking the full front of this strangeness.
She opens her mouth to say anything, but before she even realizes what's happening, Jester has them on the bed with Beau as the little spoon. Beau has never been the little spoon in her entire life.
"This is nice, isn't it?" Jester says, smiling, and she doesn't answer. What is there to say, really? "I'm really glad I got to know you Beau, good night."
No one had ever said she was glad to meet Beau. No one ever said she was glad to even be in Beau's vicinity.
She can't turn to look at the thiefling, but what she notices is that she's stronger than she appears at first glance, and certainly more then one would think listening to her talk.
Beau has spent enough time thinking about her sexuality to be pretty confident about it. She knows what she likes, she knows what attracts her. She goes for the gritty ones, the women who are dangerous and could kill her with a single look. Jester is everything she's not attracted to... and yet, while she lies there cradled by her arms she can't help but think: I'm in trouble.
Voltron; (Pre) Sheith; Protection; M2; 788
The thing is: Shiro doesn't think he needs a bodyguard. As the Black Paladin of Voltron he thinks he knows how to protect himself. Still, he understands why Allura and the rest of the team is worried about this diplomatic mission and the fact that they couldn't accompany him had them on edge.
Shiro really does understand, but there are certain things that are expected from the Black Paladin, and so he had to do it. What he doesn't understand is why the other had insisted so much on him taking a bodyguard and why they had to ask the Blades of Marmora for help. They're trying to gather as many allies as possible, unifying the front against the Galra, and bringing someone ready to attack might not send the best message.
Still, he tried to make the rest of the team see that he really didn't need anyone following him, but was shot down almost immediately.
Now, deep into Ejorian territory, there is nothing Shiro can do but glance anxiously at the Blade assigned to him.
Shiro knows almost nothing about him, every time he tried to engage him in conversation on the way over, the other had remained silent. He's smaller than other Galra, but Shiro hasn't even seen his face, only his mask. The only thing he knows is his name: Keith (not that the man seemed to react when Shiro called him).
Keith followed him around the entire day, gathering some curious looks from the Ejorian, but he had been professional and hadn't put a damper into the negotiations.
Shiro is happy about the first day and can't wait to go to sleep, recuperate, and start again the next day. So he bids his farewell to the Ejorian ambassador, motions for Keith to follow him, and finally slips out of the party the Ejorian threw for him, and walks towards the room assigned to him.
He starts to realize the Ejorian hadn't told him where Keith would sleep a couple of meters before reaching the room, and once he opens the door he realizes that maybe the Ejorian took Keith's job a little too seriously.
"Uhm," he stutters, looking at the only bed in the room, "I'm sure I can go and ask where is your room." He's ready to bolt outside when Keith says the first thing since they started travelling together.
"I won't sleep," Keith says, "I need to be vigil in case something happens."
"You know, I really don't think you have to be so on edge," Shiro tries with a sigh, "they seem to be friendly. I don't think they're planning anything."
Keith shrugs, but Shiro knows he's not going to change his mind.
The idea of sleeping while his "bodyguard" stands guard makes him almost break in hives and so Shiro decides that enough is enough. "Look, I understand that you have a job or whatever, but I'm not powerless. I don't need to be protected. And I won't go to sleep if you don't, and I would really like to sleep."
Keith doesn't move and it's impossible to say how he reacts to Shiro taking position since he can't see his face, but Shiro is confident in his leadership abilities.
"I have a task..." Keith says, his voice a little strained, but Shiro stops him immediately.
"I know. And I respect the dedication, but we're safe and I would prefer you to sleep and be at your best tomorrow, and not dead tired on your feet," Shiro tries, but it seems to be the wrong approach. He can almost see Keith gearing up to defend his own capability of working with zero sleep, and so Shiro intervenes again. "Look, just... sleep with me, if it makes you feel better. You'll be able to tell immediately if something happens. That should be all right?"
Keith hesitates for a second before nodding and Shiro sighs in relief. And then Keith removes his mask and Shiro's word comes to a screeching alt.
His bodyguard looks nothing like a Galra, in fact Shiro would say that he's 100% human.
Immediately Shiro regrets his proposition of sleeping together. Keith is... handsome, to say the least, and Shiro would prefer not to sleep with his hot bodyguard. They're not in a harmony novel.
"Are you okay?" Keith asks him, curiously, and Shiro can do nothing but nod frantically.
"Yeah, sure. Super fine, ready to go to bed?" he almost winces because he's talking way too fast and it makes it way too obvious how not fine it is. God, Shirogane, get a grip.
He's almost glad when, the next second, the door blows up and the Ejorian show how not friendly they are.
Almost.
The Raven Cycle; Pynch; Dreams; 732
When your dreams are as unpredictable and dangerous as Ronan's, finding the serenity and peace of mind to fall asleep could be difficult. Most nights were spent trying to sleep but not dream too deeply, skimming the line between rest and the deep bone exhaustion that pulled at his bones.
Cabeswater called for him every night, a siren song. The forest desired his dreamer, longed for him like a lost lover, and there were nights where Ronan desired it as well.
Dreaming, when the nightmares didn't come for him, was intoxicating. Ronan felt free, like he was doing what he was supposed to do. He was a dreamer and so he had to dream.
But when the nightmares came, the dreams twisted inside of him, hurting and grasping at his sides like thorns.
Ronan’s strange relationship with sleep was easily explained by this, really, even more so now that he shared the bed with someone almost every night.
Sleeping with Adam in the same bed was almost as intoxicating as dreaming. In the dreams he had the power to create and take anything he might ever want, but with Adam in his bed, Ronan already had everything he wanted.
It was the same, really, and rarely nights with Adam turned into nightmares.
But, the truth was, Ronan wouldn’t risk Adam’s safety or the little sleep his boyfriend allowed himself. It was all rather logical, Ronan thought, but he knew that the insomnia and lack of sleep were taking a toll on him.
Enough that even Adam had started to take notice.
His boyfriend might like to think himself unknowable, but Ronan is a master in learning the language of Adam, has studied him so reverently that he can now translate almost every little twitch and so he knows that the moment Adam understands what Ronan is doing, is the last day they ever sleep together.
He doesn’t want to give this up.
So Ronan tries to be sneaky. He starts chugging down coffee like it’s his second job, and he starts to leave some of the farm work to Opal who knows absolutely nothing about a farm, but is actually helpful in taking care of the animals.
Making a little kid work might not be the best, but Ronan has never said he was a good parent really. He sleeps in bits and pieces, never enough to really dream, but enough that he’s not dead on his feet all the time.
He misses dreaming, of course he does, but there are things that are more important for him.
Then, one day, he returns home from a day of working on the farm to take a quick nap and finds Adam on the couch. Ronan knows that Adam isn’t supposed to be there since it’s one of his working days and he can’t help the panic that bubbles inside him.
“What the fuck, Parrish, you gave me an heart attack. Did they finally fire you?” he asks, knowing that Adam will catch the worried question underneath.
Adam simply sighs and then pats the sofa, motioning for Ronan to sit beside him. Ronan hesitates a second before complying.
There’s something strange in Adam’s behaviour, but Ronan can’t understand what’s happening. It’s unsettling.
The moment he sits down, Adam reaches with a hand to Ronan’s neck and then guides his head towards his own shoulder. In a matter of seconds Ronan is blinking with his head cushioned on Adam’s shoulder.
“You will sleep now,” Adam tells him, gruff, “and I’ll stay here and show you that there’s nothing to fear.”
“Adam…” Ronan starts, but the other doesn’t let him finish.
“I like sleeping with you, Ronan, but I won’t do it anymore if you don’t actually sleep. So fucking deal.”
It might not be the most romantic of phrases, but it’s everything Ronan wants. Everything he needs. He really loves this fucker.
“Don’t come complain to me when something carves you out,” he mumbles, but he can already feel the heaviness of sleep overcome him.
Adam doesn’t say anything for a moment and then he whispers, low: “Sleep, Ronan. Everything is going to be fine.”
Ronan knows it’s not true, that his dreams are impossible to control, but Adam is the magician, the man that can spark magic in Ronan’s life just by existing. He can do anything and so Ronan believes him and sleeps.
All for the game; Andreil; Boundaries. 538
They’ve skirted around the idea of sleeping in the same bed for a while now. They’ve never said it, but like most things between them it never really had to be said.
Andrew doesn’t share his space easily and every concession, every inch that he allows Neil is more than he could even ask for.
So what if Andrew doesn’t want to sleep in the same bed? It doesn’t really bother Neil that much. To Neil sleeping in the same bed isn’t something connected to intimacy, for him and his mother was a matter of survival, sleeping back to back as to not be caught by surprise in the night if someone found them.
Sure, Neil might miss the idea of having another body next to his, but he’s safe now and there’s really no need to have his own back covered.
So Neil is perfectly happy to let things be the way they are now. He’s happy with Andrew, happier than ever before. They have their yes, their kisses and maybe not much else, but it’s all Neil needs and wants.
Knowing that Andrew trusts him enough for that, it’s more than enough.
Of course, Neil also has a lot of noisy friends who have never learnt to keep their nose out of other people’s business and so when Neil and Andrew enter the room Allison has pointed them to, Neil notices immediately the single bed in the room.
He freezes, feeling anger rage inside him. He knows that his friends don’t exactly know all of Andrew’s trauma and hang ups, but Neil trusted them enough by now to know that they shouldn’t force Andrew’s hand on anything.
Before Neil can walk away, however, Andrew stops with a bored: “It’s fine.”
Neil is too angry at their friend’s betrayal of Andrew’s comfort to really listen. “It’s not. I’ll tell Allison to give us another room. One with two beds. They can’t do this.”
“Junkie,” Andrew stops him, a hint of annoyance in his tone, “I’m saying yes.”
At that, Neil stops and turns towards him, blinking. He studies Andrew’s composure, the way he appears relaxed and bored like he always does, but Neil can read a hint of nervousness under it all.
Andrew’s eyes are unsure, but determined. It doesn’t feel like a yes.
“You’re saying yes because there’s no other choice. That’s not a yes,” Neil disagrees, shaking his head. “That’s stupid. I can fix this.”
Andrew’s eyes bore into Neil’s. For a moment they don’t move, don’t even breathe. There’s something inside Andrew’s eyes that’s changing rapidly and where once was ice, it melts slowly.
“It’s a yes.” Andrew repeats it firmly and this time he’s not trying to convince himself. That makes all the difference. “If I didn’t mean it, I wouldn’t say it. That’s not how this works.”
Neil wants to ask since when there’s a this, but he knows that they’re on the verge of something big, a step that Neil hadn’t ever thought they would take so quickly - or maybe ever at all.
And so Neil shut ups and nods, taking his bag and putting it on the side of the bed further from the door.
“Then it’s a yes.”
Skam Italia; Garau con la u perchè è sardo/Eva; Fuoco; 500
I suoi capelli sono rossi come il fuoco. Ci sono volte in cui Giovanni pensa che, toccandoli, si potrebbe veramente bruciare.
La verità è che è stato già bruciato. Forse non dai suoi capelli, ma sa di avere un marchio indelebile sul cuore che ha la forma di Eva, il suo colore, i suoi occhi.
Nonostante quello che dicono tutti, sà che quello che hanno fatto è sbagliato. Non c’è modo di evitarlo quando il peso delle loro scelte li guarda ogni giorno in faccia.
Dall’isolamento di Eva con la sua classe, alle piccole bugie che lui deve dire per poter andare a fumare in santa pace.
Ci sono pezzi rotti tra di loro, cocci ai loro piedi che li tagliano ogni volta che cercano di fare un passo per risollevare la situazione. È come se fossero destinati a farsi del male, tentativo dopo tentativo.
L’idea migliore sarebbe probabilmente quella di lasciarsi andare prima di fare danni irreparabili. Bisognerebbe solo lasciare andare le mani dell’altro, liberarli e liberarsi. Giovanni stringe i pugni più forti, fa in modo che Eva non possa allontanarsi in alcun modo.
È egoista da parte sua, lo sa molto bene, ma come può fare a spiegare il bisogno viscerale che ha di Eva? Anche ora, che lei dorme appoggiata alla sua spalla, il film che stavano guardando che continua ad andare in background, gli sembra che sia troppo distante, che se non fa qualcosa presto la perderà.
Dopo tutto quello che hanno fatto per restare insieme, dopo tutto quello che hanno distrutto per questa scelta, non pensa che potrebbe sopportare l’idea di lasciarla andare.
Gli fa quasi ridere che ci siano persone al mondo che pensano che sia stata Eva a sedurlo e portarlo via dalla sua vecchia relazione, quando Giovanni si è perso così velocemente e così profondamente da non riuscire a trovare più un’altra via di uscita.
Lo sa anche lui che non possono continuare così, certo che no, ma pensa che debba esserci un’altra possibilità. Lasciarsi non può essere la strada da prendere, si rifiuta di pensarlo, deve solo trovare una soluzione migliore.
Incapace di trattenersi ancora alza una mano e la passa tra i suoi capelli e si stupisce, come ogni singola volta, che il calore che sente non proviene dalla sua mano, ma da qualcosa dentro di lui.
Eva si sveglia lentamente, senza aprire gli occhi, e struscia la sua faccia contro la sua maglietta, come farebbe un gatto.
“Mi sono addormentata?” chiede, la voce impastata dal sonno e lui non può fare a meno di ridere.
“Non ti preoccupare, il film non è nemmeno finito. Puoi dormire ancora un po’,” le dice, con un sorriso.
Lei apre un occhio e lo guarda. “Mi sono persa qualcosa?”
Non le dirà i suoi pensieri, vergognoso e spaventato al tempo stesso. Si limita ad alzare le spalle: “Non davvero. È abbastanza noioso.”
Lei richiude gli occhi, stringendosi ancora di più a lui, e riaddormentandosi.
Questo è quello che vuole e lotterà per tenerlo.
Beau isn't really used to travelling with people, and even her tentative alliance with Jester and Fjord puts her on edge. She doesn't really know how to act with them, nor how much of herself she can open up. After all, she thinks, people have only disappointed her time and time again. It's better not to get too close.
It was one job, and nothing more.
Still, they're tired and Beau took the job because she was almost penniless, so when the inn told them they only had two rooms and Jester asked her if she wanted to share, Beaus shrugged and went with it.
She should have probably checked a little bit more, or maybe asked some other questions, but she was covered in snake blood and only wanted to sleep until she could pass out. And then they entered their room.
Oh.
"There's only one bed," Jester points out, rather unhelpfully. She doesn't sound too upset, but Beau knows her type. She seems sweet, even if a little odd, but she reeks of money. She will want the bed to herself, and Beau will be forced to sleep on the floor. Not the worst place she's ever slept on, but there are muscle aching in her body that she didn't even know she had. A bed, as lumpy as this was, sounded divine.
Disappointment isn't something new for her.
"I can take the floor," Beau sighs, walking toward one of the corners. Her bag will be a good enough cushion as any, and it's only for one night.
Jester doesn't say anything for a second before she asks, confused. "Do I smell? I mean. I probably smell, but I can take a bath."
Beau turns towards her, surprised, and blinks. "What?"
Jester doesn't stop: "Or maybe do you think I'm fat? That's rude Beau!"
"No! What? I don't, I swe- what's happening?" Beau wonders, unable to fully comprehend what was going on. Jester puffs her cheeks for a second, looking positively furious, before she smiles.
"Just kidding! But we can sleep together on the bed. We don't smell, and it's big enough," Jester says in the end, walking towards the bed.
Beau blinks and wonders what's happening exactly. She knows Jester is strange, if sweet, and now Beau is taking the full front of this strangeness.
She opens her mouth to say anything, but before she even realizes what's happening, Jester has them on the bed with Beau as the little spoon. Beau has never been the little spoon in her entire life.
"This is nice, isn't it?" Jester says, smiling, and she doesn't answer. What is there to say, really? "I'm really glad I got to know you Beau, good night."
No one had ever said she was glad to meet Beau. No one ever said she was glad to even be in Beau's vicinity.
She can't turn to look at the thiefling, but what she notices is that she's stronger than she appears at first glance, and certainly more then one would think listening to her talk.
Beau has spent enough time thinking about her sexuality to be pretty confident about it. She knows what she likes, she knows what attracts her. She goes for the gritty ones, the women who are dangerous and could kill her with a single look. Jester is everything she's not attracted to... and yet, while she lies there cradled by her arms she can't help but think: I'm in trouble.
Voltron; (Pre) Sheith; Protection; M2; 788
The thing is: Shiro doesn't think he needs a bodyguard. As the Black Paladin of Voltron he thinks he knows how to protect himself. Still, he understands why Allura and the rest of the team is worried about this diplomatic mission and the fact that they couldn't accompany him had them on edge.
Shiro really does understand, but there are certain things that are expected from the Black Paladin, and so he had to do it. What he doesn't understand is why the other had insisted so much on him taking a bodyguard and why they had to ask the Blades of Marmora for help. They're trying to gather as many allies as possible, unifying the front against the Galra, and bringing someone ready to attack might not send the best message.
Still, he tried to make the rest of the team see that he really didn't need anyone following him, but was shot down almost immediately.
Now, deep into Ejorian territory, there is nothing Shiro can do but glance anxiously at the Blade assigned to him.
Shiro knows almost nothing about him, every time he tried to engage him in conversation on the way over, the other had remained silent. He's smaller than other Galra, but Shiro hasn't even seen his face, only his mask. The only thing he knows is his name: Keith (not that the man seemed to react when Shiro called him).
Keith followed him around the entire day, gathering some curious looks from the Ejorian, but he had been professional and hadn't put a damper into the negotiations.
Shiro is happy about the first day and can't wait to go to sleep, recuperate, and start again the next day. So he bids his farewell to the Ejorian ambassador, motions for Keith to follow him, and finally slips out of the party the Ejorian threw for him, and walks towards the room assigned to him.
He starts to realize the Ejorian hadn't told him where Keith would sleep a couple of meters before reaching the room, and once he opens the door he realizes that maybe the Ejorian took Keith's job a little too seriously.
"Uhm," he stutters, looking at the only bed in the room, "I'm sure I can go and ask where is your room." He's ready to bolt outside when Keith says the first thing since they started travelling together.
"I won't sleep," Keith says, "I need to be vigil in case something happens."
"You know, I really don't think you have to be so on edge," Shiro tries with a sigh, "they seem to be friendly. I don't think they're planning anything."
Keith shrugs, but Shiro knows he's not going to change his mind.
The idea of sleeping while his "bodyguard" stands guard makes him almost break in hives and so Shiro decides that enough is enough. "Look, I understand that you have a job or whatever, but I'm not powerless. I don't need to be protected. And I won't go to sleep if you don't, and I would really like to sleep."
Keith doesn't move and it's impossible to say how he reacts to Shiro taking position since he can't see his face, but Shiro is confident in his leadership abilities.
"I have a task..." Keith says, his voice a little strained, but Shiro stops him immediately.
"I know. And I respect the dedication, but we're safe and I would prefer you to sleep and be at your best tomorrow, and not dead tired on your feet," Shiro tries, but it seems to be the wrong approach. He can almost see Keith gearing up to defend his own capability of working with zero sleep, and so Shiro intervenes again. "Look, just... sleep with me, if it makes you feel better. You'll be able to tell immediately if something happens. That should be all right?"
Keith hesitates for a second before nodding and Shiro sighs in relief. And then Keith removes his mask and Shiro's word comes to a screeching alt.
His bodyguard looks nothing like a Galra, in fact Shiro would say that he's 100% human.
Immediately Shiro regrets his proposition of sleeping together. Keith is... handsome, to say the least, and Shiro would prefer not to sleep with his hot bodyguard. They're not in a harmony novel.
"Are you okay?" Keith asks him, curiously, and Shiro can do nothing but nod frantically.
"Yeah, sure. Super fine, ready to go to bed?" he almost winces because he's talking way too fast and it makes it way too obvious how not fine it is. God, Shirogane, get a grip.
He's almost glad when, the next second, the door blows up and the Ejorian show how not friendly they are.
Almost.
The Raven Cycle; Pynch; Dreams; 732
When your dreams are as unpredictable and dangerous as Ronan's, finding the serenity and peace of mind to fall asleep could be difficult. Most nights were spent trying to sleep but not dream too deeply, skimming the line between rest and the deep bone exhaustion that pulled at his bones.
Cabeswater called for him every night, a siren song. The forest desired his dreamer, longed for him like a lost lover, and there were nights where Ronan desired it as well.
Dreaming, when the nightmares didn't come for him, was intoxicating. Ronan felt free, like he was doing what he was supposed to do. He was a dreamer and so he had to dream.
But when the nightmares came, the dreams twisted inside of him, hurting and grasping at his sides like thorns.
Ronan’s strange relationship with sleep was easily explained by this, really, even more so now that he shared the bed with someone almost every night.
Sleeping with Adam in the same bed was almost as intoxicating as dreaming. In the dreams he had the power to create and take anything he might ever want, but with Adam in his bed, Ronan already had everything he wanted.
It was the same, really, and rarely nights with Adam turned into nightmares.
But, the truth was, Ronan wouldn’t risk Adam’s safety or the little sleep his boyfriend allowed himself. It was all rather logical, Ronan thought, but he knew that the insomnia and lack of sleep were taking a toll on him.
Enough that even Adam had started to take notice.
His boyfriend might like to think himself unknowable, but Ronan is a master in learning the language of Adam, has studied him so reverently that he can now translate almost every little twitch and so he knows that the moment Adam understands what Ronan is doing, is the last day they ever sleep together.
He doesn’t want to give this up.
So Ronan tries to be sneaky. He starts chugging down coffee like it’s his second job, and he starts to leave some of the farm work to Opal who knows absolutely nothing about a farm, but is actually helpful in taking care of the animals.
Making a little kid work might not be the best, but Ronan has never said he was a good parent really. He sleeps in bits and pieces, never enough to really dream, but enough that he’s not dead on his feet all the time.
He misses dreaming, of course he does, but there are things that are more important for him.
Then, one day, he returns home from a day of working on the farm to take a quick nap and finds Adam on the couch. Ronan knows that Adam isn’t supposed to be there since it’s one of his working days and he can’t help the panic that bubbles inside him.
“What the fuck, Parrish, you gave me an heart attack. Did they finally fire you?” he asks, knowing that Adam will catch the worried question underneath.
Adam simply sighs and then pats the sofa, motioning for Ronan to sit beside him. Ronan hesitates a second before complying.
There’s something strange in Adam’s behaviour, but Ronan can’t understand what’s happening. It’s unsettling.
The moment he sits down, Adam reaches with a hand to Ronan’s neck and then guides his head towards his own shoulder. In a matter of seconds Ronan is blinking with his head cushioned on Adam’s shoulder.
“You will sleep now,” Adam tells him, gruff, “and I’ll stay here and show you that there’s nothing to fear.”
“Adam…” Ronan starts, but the other doesn’t let him finish.
“I like sleeping with you, Ronan, but I won’t do it anymore if you don’t actually sleep. So fucking deal.”
It might not be the most romantic of phrases, but it’s everything Ronan wants. Everything he needs. He really loves this fucker.
“Don’t come complain to me when something carves you out,” he mumbles, but he can already feel the heaviness of sleep overcome him.
Adam doesn’t say anything for a moment and then he whispers, low: “Sleep, Ronan. Everything is going to be fine.”
Ronan knows it’s not true, that his dreams are impossible to control, but Adam is the magician, the man that can spark magic in Ronan’s life just by existing. He can do anything and so Ronan believes him and sleeps.
All for the game; Andreil; Boundaries. 538
They’ve skirted around the idea of sleeping in the same bed for a while now. They’ve never said it, but like most things between them it never really had to be said.
Andrew doesn’t share his space easily and every concession, every inch that he allows Neil is more than he could even ask for.
So what if Andrew doesn’t want to sleep in the same bed? It doesn’t really bother Neil that much. To Neil sleeping in the same bed isn’t something connected to intimacy, for him and his mother was a matter of survival, sleeping back to back as to not be caught by surprise in the night if someone found them.
Sure, Neil might miss the idea of having another body next to his, but he’s safe now and there’s really no need to have his own back covered.
So Neil is perfectly happy to let things be the way they are now. He’s happy with Andrew, happier than ever before. They have their yes, their kisses and maybe not much else, but it’s all Neil needs and wants.
Knowing that Andrew trusts him enough for that, it’s more than enough.
Of course, Neil also has a lot of noisy friends who have never learnt to keep their nose out of other people’s business and so when Neil and Andrew enter the room Allison has pointed them to, Neil notices immediately the single bed in the room.
He freezes, feeling anger rage inside him. He knows that his friends don’t exactly know all of Andrew’s trauma and hang ups, but Neil trusted them enough by now to know that they shouldn’t force Andrew’s hand on anything.
Before Neil can walk away, however, Andrew stops with a bored: “It’s fine.”
Neil is too angry at their friend’s betrayal of Andrew’s comfort to really listen. “It’s not. I’ll tell Allison to give us another room. One with two beds. They can’t do this.”
“Junkie,” Andrew stops him, a hint of annoyance in his tone, “I’m saying yes.”
At that, Neil stops and turns towards him, blinking. He studies Andrew’s composure, the way he appears relaxed and bored like he always does, but Neil can read a hint of nervousness under it all.
Andrew’s eyes are unsure, but determined. It doesn’t feel like a yes.
“You’re saying yes because there’s no other choice. That’s not a yes,” Neil disagrees, shaking his head. “That’s stupid. I can fix this.”
Andrew’s eyes bore into Neil’s. For a moment they don’t move, don’t even breathe. There’s something inside Andrew’s eyes that’s changing rapidly and where once was ice, it melts slowly.
“It’s a yes.” Andrew repeats it firmly and this time he’s not trying to convince himself. That makes all the difference. “If I didn’t mean it, I wouldn’t say it. That’s not how this works.”
Neil wants to ask since when there’s a this, but he knows that they’re on the verge of something big, a step that Neil hadn’t ever thought they would take so quickly - or maybe ever at all.
And so Neil shut ups and nods, taking his bag and putting it on the side of the bed further from the door.
“Then it’s a yes.”
Skam Italia; Garau con la u perchè è sardo/Eva; Fuoco; 500
I suoi capelli sono rossi come il fuoco. Ci sono volte in cui Giovanni pensa che, toccandoli, si potrebbe veramente bruciare.
La verità è che è stato già bruciato. Forse non dai suoi capelli, ma sa di avere un marchio indelebile sul cuore che ha la forma di Eva, il suo colore, i suoi occhi.
Nonostante quello che dicono tutti, sà che quello che hanno fatto è sbagliato. Non c’è modo di evitarlo quando il peso delle loro scelte li guarda ogni giorno in faccia.
Dall’isolamento di Eva con la sua classe, alle piccole bugie che lui deve dire per poter andare a fumare in santa pace.
Ci sono pezzi rotti tra di loro, cocci ai loro piedi che li tagliano ogni volta che cercano di fare un passo per risollevare la situazione. È come se fossero destinati a farsi del male, tentativo dopo tentativo.
L’idea migliore sarebbe probabilmente quella di lasciarsi andare prima di fare danni irreparabili. Bisognerebbe solo lasciare andare le mani dell’altro, liberarli e liberarsi. Giovanni stringe i pugni più forti, fa in modo che Eva non possa allontanarsi in alcun modo.
È egoista da parte sua, lo sa molto bene, ma come può fare a spiegare il bisogno viscerale che ha di Eva? Anche ora, che lei dorme appoggiata alla sua spalla, il film che stavano guardando che continua ad andare in background, gli sembra che sia troppo distante, che se non fa qualcosa presto la perderà.
Dopo tutto quello che hanno fatto per restare insieme, dopo tutto quello che hanno distrutto per questa scelta, non pensa che potrebbe sopportare l’idea di lasciarla andare.
Gli fa quasi ridere che ci siano persone al mondo che pensano che sia stata Eva a sedurlo e portarlo via dalla sua vecchia relazione, quando Giovanni si è perso così velocemente e così profondamente da non riuscire a trovare più un’altra via di uscita.
Lo sa anche lui che non possono continuare così, certo che no, ma pensa che debba esserci un’altra possibilità. Lasciarsi non può essere la strada da prendere, si rifiuta di pensarlo, deve solo trovare una soluzione migliore.
Incapace di trattenersi ancora alza una mano e la passa tra i suoi capelli e si stupisce, come ogni singola volta, che il calore che sente non proviene dalla sua mano, ma da qualcosa dentro di lui.
Eva si sveglia lentamente, senza aprire gli occhi, e struscia la sua faccia contro la sua maglietta, come farebbe un gatto.
“Mi sono addormentata?” chiede, la voce impastata dal sonno e lui non può fare a meno di ridere.
“Non ti preoccupare, il film non è nemmeno finito. Puoi dormire ancora un po’,” le dice, con un sorriso.
Lei apre un occhio e lo guarda. “Mi sono persa qualcosa?”
Non le dirà i suoi pensieri, vergognoso e spaventato al tempo stesso. Si limita ad alzare le spalle: “Non davvero. È abbastanza noioso.”
Lei richiude gli occhi, stringendosi ancora di più a lui, e riaddormentandosi.
Questo è quello che vuole e lotterà per tenerlo.