Article 4
Once Again i am back to report the important hard hitting news for you, my fellow readers.
In recent news many of the important ceral figures have gone missing. These include the greats such as:
Tony The Tiger
The Trix Rabbit
Lucky the Lucky Charms Leprechaun
And Buzz the Honey Nut Cheerios Bee
All Four have gone missing in the past week. Investigtors are trying to figure out who would want to kidnap these guys. "I frankly don't see the point of taking them." Said The Great Mouse Detective Basil, "We won't pay a ransom for them. I mean how hard is it to find a child molesting tiger, a cracked up rabbit, and a hyper-active bee. The only real problem we could face is Lucky, he's the only one of vaule." All law enforcment are out on the lookout for who ever could have done this. Could it be another one of Snow Whites evil plans, no one has still heard word form doopy. Only time will tell what has happend to our great (well kinda great) cartoon spokesmen.
Detective Basil on how to solve the missing spokesmens case.
In other news, the criminal known as "Bert" went through some tough questioning about his meetings with Snow White. I was there looking and listing through a window as the questiong was going on.
Officer Goofy: Well now uh, Bert. You need to tell us what happend when you had that there talk with Snow White.
Bert: I ain't telling you nothing you dirty cop.
Officer Goofy: Gawsh, that wasn't very nice. I think i may have to fix you attitude just a little bit.
(Goofy punchs Bert in the face)
Bert: Oh you sick bastard.
Goofy: Well uh-huck, i didn't want to do that, but you made me.
Bert: (spits blood) I'll never talk.
Officer Donald: You gotta talk if you don't we could kill you. (note donald is very hard to understand so any misreads is my fault.
Bert: You won't make me do anythink White Devil
Donald: Why you dirty peice of crap i should kill you right now..............words i don't understand are used............and you're lucky that i don't want any blood on my hands tonight cause my wife Daisey wants me clean.
Bert: You have no idea whats coming and i hope when it does come you die slowly.
Goofy: Thats enough now. I don't want have to beat the piss out of your dirty yellow ass, but i will.
Bert: Kiss my big orange nose long ears.
This is where i am found and taken off police head quaters, but at least i got my scoop.
Bert with long time friend OsamaBinLadin (spelled as one word cause i can't spell it.)
I don't know where this epic battle of "your momma this" and "your momma that" is going but i hope it hurries up and gets there. This makes for great news. Tune in tursday when i exsplain the mystery of Strawberry Shortcake!
Stawberry Shortcake-Know a Ho
For Cartoon Action News, this is Sly McCoy Signing off.