(no subject)
alright. i really dont care who reads this but i need to vent. i hate the word trust. in most peoples vocabulary..it means nothing. i hate it when people dont have guts. most of them..even if they do i hate them. i am becoming to hate people in general. they fuck you over...alot. yet i am idiotic enough to open myself up for idotic people. we are like animals...pretending to be cool with one another but are willing to do anything to get we want. once again...i have been fucked over. i am so pissed. i am hurt. i dont care theyre going out..really i dont. but both of them didnt have the balls to tell me...so poor stephanie had to do it. and charlotte actually looked me in the fucking face for TWO WEEKS and couldnt tell me that she liked ron......and he couldnt tell me that she liked her. FOR TWO WEEKS. i cant deal with that shit. my felings........like shit. all weekend. i feel like absolute utter shit. i really dont think i could feel worse. i try so hard to pick and choose my friends....and look what i get. i let myself slip...once again..look what i got. a fucking migrane and and a shit ass attitude towards people. i hate people. now i begin to wonder what is wrong with me. somthing must be seriously wrong with me. maybe if i become bulemic and get to a size 3 them people wont fuck with me anymore. maybe if i be a hard ass people wont get to me. i hate this. i hate me. i hate charlotte. i hate ron. i hate the whole fucking world for doing this to me. there are 3 people in theis world i dont hate. reva, stehpanie, alyssa. god y didnt they fucking tell me. two fucking weeks. now i get to go to 3rd hour tomorrow and talk to charlotte. i hate being angry..but im not angry. im just xtremely pissed off. majorly. how can i talk to her without bitching her out. i thought she was cool, but shes not. i dont care about ron...i never trusted him anyways. i cant trust guys. i guess i cant trust girls eaither. shit, i dont even know if i can trust myself. I FUCKING HATE THIS. i guess im not good enough for anyone. my slef esteem is like, -20. im not even joking. I FUCKING CRYED!!!i DONT cry..if anyone knows me..they know i dont cry. i HATE EVERYONE. adn i get to go to school tomorrow and act ok...and who knows i might convince people im fine. im not..at all. i am not fucking ok..i cant deal with shit from people. i fucking cant do it.