Argg..

[spidervc]

I am ready for something serious to begin happening.. I am becoming a short fuse lately.. I am in dire need of some good goofy crazy stress relieving fun!! I am also due for a new change of pace and a new change of scenery! i.e. NEW HOME! Im getting sick of lookin at these tar stained walls everyday! I feel like I get my self depressed just sitting around here. IM HOPELESS!! arrg... I been living in this place far to long.. I have too much mix feelings about this place. SO much has happened here.. and SO much crap went down here.. its just to much negativity for me anymore! I need a fresh start .. ITS TIME.. otherwise i dont know whats going to happen if i stay here much longer.. ill give myself 2-3 months before i start breaking down seriously again. I really dont want bethany to see this side of me. Once I start to fall like this.. really hard for me to get back up on my own to feet .. and its even harder for someone else to help me.
I really been trying to keep myself from this.. I have been trying to have fun on the weekends.. Shit..I just dont know anymore.. I just know.. SOMETHING GOTTA HAPPEN!

Overwhelming stress..
Sickening feeling in my chest!
Hopeless aches, feeling depressed!
Feeling like a ugly mess..

Crazy shifting eyes..
Going insane in my own mind!
Feeling like its a complete lie!
Starting to crumble inside..

Depression kickd in..
Starting to become the has been!
This is starting to wear thin!
Starting to fall deep within..