...Anyone on here still??... if so i got lots more blogs on my myspace...
September 9, 2007 - Sunday
destroy love is a life changing incident.. not accident
Current mood: lonely
You never know when your in a relationship if your going to last a life time even when your married.. its a messed up thought.. but its true..
You can never guess whats going to happen its a life lesson.. something that you need to look on the upside of.. i remember all of the positive moment of my relationships .. the ones that didn't even last long... its the way i am..I will always remember there eyes... I will always remember our sweet moments of when we were just lying there lookin into each other eyes or just running our hands over each others face hoping to never leave the moment... its so bittersweet .. everyone gotta agree with me there.. if not then your a self-centered cruel person.. same thing with first crushes.. you remember them till you die.. when you get old and grey it will still be there even tho your with the love of your life at that moment..
You will always love that special person even if it was your shortest relationship. Its part of the human mind to think of the good times.. Its the human mind to remember the down falls first before the good because they stick out as well, but you need get past them and move on to the good times that you love about them. You just got to move on to the next best thing in your life. With me its my poetry. I may be one of the few poets that reads his own peoms...but it helps me remember good times even if they are the harshish poems i wrote about the arguements. Another example is my friend Jeremy when im around him always says he misses his ex Jesse because he loved him deep down in his heart, and in the future i am 100% sure i will do the same with Erica.
I had to move on. It wasn't working out to the standards i improved of what i want in a relationship. I want to have kids. I dont want a girl that tells me i can't hang out with certain friends. I want a girl that can trust me to keep my pants on. A girl that doesn't get sad, mad, or pissed im hanging out with a friend or friends that i haven't been with in a long time over her for the day because i just seen her a couple days ago.. when i havent seen them in several days ...Yes i know you should put your girlfriend first... but its only at certain times u should..
I didn't want to jump into a marriage that i wasn't COMPLETELY sure about ... yes i agreed to it but i was sure down the road. I was afraid of the first time i heard the word Marriage... and same with 2nd time with a different girl.. and then when i agreed to it.. i still wasn't so sure.. Im still not sure yet... i dont know.. i guess i will be ready when i am. I loved Kristine with all my heart... it didn't work out cause of her.. she was using me... I love Meridyth with all my heart.. but im moving on and im letting her go so she can go and find someone that can make her more happier then i could make her.. and she found that with Mike. I love Erica with all my heart but it wasn't going to work out anymore cause of me.. yes i said me.. I want to have my own kids.. and i wanted to hang with a few friend every now and then and not get retaliated back on me for it.. and other things as well.
Just know this its not wrong to improve your standards in a relationship.. its not immoral. Its way of life. Yes i believe that once your married you should marry them for life thats why i backed out when i did way before it happen.
I give Erica my best wishes to move on without me and find herself someone that can make her happy once again. Someone that will take good care of her and treat her well. Someone that will look into her eyes and truly tell themselves "thats the girl i will be with for the rest of my life". I hope she won't cheat herself out of her life or out of love and go out there and find someone for herself to be with.
I don't really have the inner strength to keep typing so im just gonna go..
Love you all..
Chris
destroy love is a life changing incident.. not accident
Current mood: lonely
You never know when your in a relationship if your going to last a life time even when your married.. its a messed up thought.. but its true..
You can never guess whats going to happen its a life lesson.. something that you need to look on the upside of.. i remember all of the positive moment of my relationships .. the ones that didn't even last long... its the way i am..I will always remember there eyes... I will always remember our sweet moments of when we were just lying there lookin into each other eyes or just running our hands over each others face hoping to never leave the moment... its so bittersweet .. everyone gotta agree with me there.. if not then your a self-centered cruel person.. same thing with first crushes.. you remember them till you die.. when you get old and grey it will still be there even tho your with the love of your life at that moment..
You will always love that special person even if it was your shortest relationship. Its part of the human mind to think of the good times.. Its the human mind to remember the down falls first before the good because they stick out as well, but you need get past them and move on to the good times that you love about them. You just got to move on to the next best thing in your life. With me its my poetry. I may be one of the few poets that reads his own peoms...but it helps me remember good times even if they are the harshish poems i wrote about the arguements. Another example is my friend Jeremy when im around him always says he misses his ex Jesse because he loved him deep down in his heart, and in the future i am 100% sure i will do the same with Erica.
I had to move on. It wasn't working out to the standards i improved of what i want in a relationship. I want to have kids. I dont want a girl that tells me i can't hang out with certain friends. I want a girl that can trust me to keep my pants on. A girl that doesn't get sad, mad, or pissed im hanging out with a friend or friends that i haven't been with in a long time over her for the day because i just seen her a couple days ago.. when i havent seen them in several days ...Yes i know you should put your girlfriend first... but its only at certain times u should..
I didn't want to jump into a marriage that i wasn't COMPLETELY sure about ... yes i agreed to it but i was sure down the road. I was afraid of the first time i heard the word Marriage... and same with 2nd time with a different girl.. and then when i agreed to it.. i still wasn't so sure.. Im still not sure yet... i dont know.. i guess i will be ready when i am. I loved Kristine with all my heart... it didn't work out cause of her.. she was using me... I love Meridyth with all my heart.. but im moving on and im letting her go so she can go and find someone that can make her more happier then i could make her.. and she found that with Mike. I love Erica with all my heart but it wasn't going to work out anymore cause of me.. yes i said me.. I want to have my own kids.. and i wanted to hang with a few friend every now and then and not get retaliated back on me for it.. and other things as well.
Just know this its not wrong to improve your standards in a relationship.. its not immoral. Its way of life. Yes i believe that once your married you should marry them for life thats why i backed out when i did way before it happen.
I give Erica my best wishes to move on without me and find herself someone that can make her happy once again. Someone that will take good care of her and treat her well. Someone that will look into her eyes and truly tell themselves "thats the girl i will be with for the rest of my life". I hope she won't cheat herself out of her life or out of love and go out there and find someone for herself to be with.
I don't really have the inner strength to keep typing so im just gonna go..
Love you all..
Chris