Today, today I did something new
I took a risk when it would have been so easy to fall back into habits. I took two, really, even though I knew one might be disastrous and one might (might still) backfire. But I did it because I'm tired of being a coward with one foot in depression and the other one dragging, barely moving.
And you know? There's something - I'm fucked up, I know it, I'm so fucked up and feel things too strong, every nudge, every tap is a personal affront and I have an anxiety attack at least twice a week.
But I can feel in a way I'm not sure other people always can, and I can love someone so easily, just delight in their presence and it isn't romantic or anything like that, but sometimes just reading what someone writes, or listening to what someone says, brings me to tears. Because people can be so, so strong - wonderful, beautiful, powerful, brave. Because sometimes it's an honor just knowing you, just belonging to the same species as you, just breathing the same air as you.
And you know? There's something - I'm fucked up, I know it, I'm so fucked up and feel things too strong, every nudge, every tap is a personal affront and I have an anxiety attack at least twice a week.
But I can feel in a way I'm not sure other people always can, and I can love someone so easily, just delight in their presence and it isn't romantic or anything like that, but sometimes just reading what someone writes, or listening to what someone says, brings me to tears. Because people can be so, so strong - wonderful, beautiful, powerful, brave. Because sometimes it's an honor just knowing you, just belonging to the same species as you, just breathing the same air as you.