I wanna spend all your money (at the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar)
Thoughts on Robin Hood, season 2, episode 3. I was encouraged.
Spoilers. Obviously.
1. Obligatory comment about kids playing at being Robin Hood in the forest. How cute, how adorable etc etc.
LOL @ the boar being the "sheriff."
LOL @ "I get this boring piece of tree" - because even the kids know you suck, Little John.
2. GISBORNE YOU ARE SUCH A BASTARD SUCH A BASTARD but at the same time you're so practical. The more Machiavellian you get the cooler you are.
3. DRAMATIC MUSIC SCORE PLZ STOP KTHX THE ACTION SCENES ARE NOT THAT GOOD
4. "You can trust me. I'm the lord of Locksley" Oh Gisborne! How you wish!
PS you sound like a pedophile
5. So, kid, do you believe just any dirty, hairy man hanging out in the forest that claims to be Robin Hood?
6. "What? Playing a loser?" YOU ARE JUST BITTER BECAUSE ROBIN ALWAYS KICKS YOUR ASS. ALWAYS.
Also, way to threaten a bunch of small, defenseless children Gisborne. You so hardxcore.
7. "We can use them. Send them to the mine." HAHAHA because three adolescent boys are going to be really useful in a mine. Just admit you are a huge softie Guy. ADMIT IT.
8. Dear Everyone In The Outlaws' Camp That Isn't Much,
STFU GO DIE. I want to see you guys go cook. What's that? OH RIGHT, YOU CAN'T!!
kthxbai
9. KID (whose name is Daniel but I don't care): Sorry,
who are you?
ROBIN: That's Much.
KID: Oh yes. The servant.
When Much says "very funny" my heart maybe bleeds for him. Point: Much was a servant. It cannot be nice for him to hear the same sentiment again. It must be utterly terrible to hear Robin, who he has served and protected and loved so loyally, not contradict the sentiment and laugh at him. =/
10. "Men tend to lie about their size." Djaq, this is the first time in the entire series I have liked you even a tiny bit. =)
11. "I hope you're better at playing Robin Hood than I am." Robin, this is maybe, just maybe, is not the best thing to say to a child who is putting all of his hopes in you.
12. "That is my secret, and I am the only man west of Jerselum that knows how to make it." BLACKSMITH-MAN ILU FOR BEING SO SMART. By far my favorite minor character.
13. "Water for the sheriff." So Guy, do you ever get tired of being the Sheriff's nursemaid?
PS Richard Armitage - best voice inflection ever
14. "Gisborne, have you started a family without telling me?" O-OMG I love the way the sheriff says "children" - in that this-is-the-worst-surprise-I-could-ever-imagine-Gisborne-WTF-WTF and Gisborne tried to hide it from the Sheriff oh there is NO WAY that man is as cruel as he tries to be.
15. "Those people have to die." Oh Gisborne. You want so badly to be a good man, and yet ... you just aren't going to be able to manage it this lifetime.
16. "Much, shh!" DANIEL KID STFU & Djaq and Allan go die seriously this is not funny at all.
17. Every time I start to think this series is decently well-done I see a fight scene between Robin and Gisborne. And then I'm like "haha, nevermind" let's beat the shit out of each other like drunken old me so manly!
18. "You overestimate me Hood. You know, sometimes at night I get one of your servants to rub my feet. I don't care if she has a heart or a mind." Gisborne, you are not a heartless bastard. Especially after the "b-but ... we can use them in the mines! Rly!"
19. "Not stalemate. Checkmate." Oh Guy, please stop channeling the Dark Ace's absolutely horrenous lines. And, wtf, Gisborne, is that a medieval shank?
20. Gisborne. Nailed in the face. By a kid with a slingshot. FAIL.
21. Gisborne has the best expressions ever. Seriously. Just the "oh please god why do I get blamed for everything" eyes-toward-heaven thing. Oh I love it!
Also, Sheriff hitting Gisborne in the face = BDSM I SWEAR.
22. WHY HAS NEITHER THE SHERIFF NOR GISBORNE NOTICED THAT DJAQ HAS BREASTS? IT'S NOT LIKE HER OUTFIT DISGUISES THEM ANY!
23. "HOSTAGE!" Fed-up!Gisborne. ♥!
24. Does anyone notice that Much is actually upset? And that they're treating him like total shit? I love that they're not perfect as people, and I love that it's irritating, but I really, really want Much to abandon them soon.
25. The way the Sheriff says "little boys" kind of makes me feel dirty.
26. There is no way the Sheriff doesn't know about Marian. He must know.
27. "He'll be putty in my hands." Hahaha, or he'll kick your sorry ass, but whatever.
28. RE: shirtless Guy:
Marian, if you do not want to tap that even a little bit you cannot be straight. Cannot be straight.
29. "I feel nothing." It's such a lie. Such a lie. Stop trying so hard.
30. I want to believe that Marian is sincere here. I really honeslty think I need to believe that Marian is sincere here. Friendship, please. At least want that for him.
31. "This isn't about friendship. You want your freedom back." That self-deprecating smirk. Oh god Marian, you've fucked him up so hard, and I almost think you're starting to feel bad about this.
And, I'm almost starting to think that this series could swing towards Guy/Marian. I know it won't but ... I'm seeing hints.
32. I'm glad that the outlaws aren't so good that they can't have a traitor, and I'm glad the baddies have a bit of an upper hand, but at the same time, Allan ... you're really annoying. And Guy/Allan makes me kind of ill.
33. "Believability." HAHAHA! Guy, don't lie. You just wanted to sock him in the face. I don't blame you.
34. The wink at Robin. Oh my gosh Sheriff, I love you.
35. I am going to refuse to acknowledge the entire 4-minute scene with Guy in full armor exists because it is:
a. totally melodramatic
b. really embarassing on Guy's part
c. generally terrible
Guy looks like something out of a B science fiction film from the '60s.
36. "You seem to have overestimated Gisborne's importance to me." Wow. Way to repay total obedience and loyalty.
37. I want to think that Marian held blacksmith-man up partly to save Guy's life. I think she did. I hope she did. Especially what with the hurt puppy look Robin is giving her.
38. "You saved Robin too." He wants to believe so badly. He won't let her hope. And he doesn't want Marian hurt. But he can't support her. And I love this pairing so damn much. I really want Guy to go back to helping Marian - even if she is making a fool of her.
39. Yeah, Robin. Let the kids spy for you and give them ID tags. That's not conspicuous at all. That won't get them killed.
THE NEXT EPISODE INVOLVES THE PLAUGE!
Spoilers. Obviously.
1. Obligatory comment about kids playing at being Robin Hood in the forest. How cute, how adorable etc etc.
LOL @ the boar being the "sheriff."
LOL @ "I get this boring piece of tree" - because even the kids know you suck, Little John.
2. GISBORNE YOU ARE SUCH A BASTARD SUCH A BASTARD but at the same time you're so practical. The more Machiavellian you get the cooler you are.
3. DRAMATIC MUSIC SCORE PLZ STOP KTHX THE ACTION SCENES ARE NOT THAT GOOD
4. "You can trust me. I'm the lord of Locksley" Oh Gisborne! How you wish!
PS you sound like a pedophile
5. So, kid, do you believe just any dirty, hairy man hanging out in the forest that claims to be Robin Hood?
6. "What? Playing a loser?" YOU ARE JUST BITTER BECAUSE ROBIN ALWAYS KICKS YOUR ASS. ALWAYS.
Also, way to threaten a bunch of small, defenseless children Gisborne. You so hardxcore.
7. "We can use them. Send them to the mine." HAHAHA because three adolescent boys are going to be really useful in a mine. Just admit you are a huge softie Guy. ADMIT IT.
8. Dear Everyone In The Outlaws' Camp That Isn't Much,
STFU GO DIE. I want to see you guys go cook. What's that? OH RIGHT, YOU CAN'T!!
kthxbai
9. KID (whose name is Daniel but I don't care): Sorry,
who are you?
ROBIN: That's Much.
KID: Oh yes. The servant.
When Much says "very funny" my heart maybe bleeds for him. Point: Much was a servant. It cannot be nice for him to hear the same sentiment again. It must be utterly terrible to hear Robin, who he has served and protected and loved so loyally, not contradict the sentiment and laugh at him. =/
10. "Men tend to lie about their size." Djaq, this is the first time in the entire series I have liked you even a tiny bit. =)
11. "I hope you're better at playing Robin Hood than I am." Robin, this is maybe, just maybe, is not the best thing to say to a child who is putting all of his hopes in you.
12. "That is my secret, and I am the only man west of Jerselum that knows how to make it." BLACKSMITH-MAN ILU FOR BEING SO SMART. By far my favorite minor character.
13. "Water for the sheriff." So Guy, do you ever get tired of being the Sheriff's nursemaid?
PS Richard Armitage - best voice inflection ever
14. "Gisborne, have you started a family without telling me?" O-OMG I love the way the sheriff says "children" - in that this-is-the-worst-surprise-I-could-ever-imagine-Gisborne-WTF-WTF and Gisborne tried to hide it from the Sheriff oh there is NO WAY that man is as cruel as he tries to be.
15. "Those people have to die." Oh Gisborne. You want so badly to be a good man, and yet ... you just aren't going to be able to manage it this lifetime.
16. "Much, shh!" DANIEL KID STFU & Djaq and Allan go die seriously this is not funny at all.
17. Every time I start to think this series is decently well-done I see a fight scene between Robin and Gisborne. And then I'm like "haha, nevermind" let's beat the shit out of each other like drunken old me so manly!
18. "You overestimate me Hood. You know, sometimes at night I get one of your servants to rub my feet. I don't care if she has a heart or a mind." Gisborne, you are not a heartless bastard. Especially after the "b-but ... we can use them in the mines! Rly!"
19. "Not stalemate. Checkmate." Oh Guy, please stop channeling the Dark Ace's absolutely horrenous lines. And, wtf, Gisborne, is that a medieval shank?
20. Gisborne. Nailed in the face. By a kid with a slingshot. FAIL.
21. Gisborne has the best expressions ever. Seriously. Just the "oh please god why do I get blamed for everything" eyes-toward-heaven thing. Oh I love it!
Also, Sheriff hitting Gisborne in the face = BDSM I SWEAR.
22. WHY HAS NEITHER THE SHERIFF NOR GISBORNE NOTICED THAT DJAQ HAS BREASTS? IT'S NOT LIKE HER OUTFIT DISGUISES THEM ANY!
23. "HOSTAGE!" Fed-up!Gisborne. ♥!
24. Does anyone notice that Much is actually upset? And that they're treating him like total shit? I love that they're not perfect as people, and I love that it's irritating, but I really, really want Much to abandon them soon.
25. The way the Sheriff says "little boys" kind of makes me feel dirty.
26. There is no way the Sheriff doesn't know about Marian. He must know.
27. "He'll be putty in my hands." Hahaha, or he'll kick your sorry ass, but whatever.
28. RE: shirtless Guy:
Marian, if you do not want to tap that even a little bit you cannot be straight. Cannot be straight.
29. "I feel nothing." It's such a lie. Such a lie. Stop trying so hard.
30. I want to believe that Marian is sincere here. I really honeslty think I need to believe that Marian is sincere here. Friendship, please. At least want that for him.
31. "This isn't about friendship. You want your freedom back." That self-deprecating smirk. Oh god Marian, you've fucked him up so hard, and I almost think you're starting to feel bad about this.
And, I'm almost starting to think that this series could swing towards Guy/Marian. I know it won't but ... I'm seeing hints.
32. I'm glad that the outlaws aren't so good that they can't have a traitor, and I'm glad the baddies have a bit of an upper hand, but at the same time, Allan ... you're really annoying. And Guy/Allan makes me kind of ill.
33. "Believability." HAHAHA! Guy, don't lie. You just wanted to sock him in the face. I don't blame you.
34. The wink at Robin. Oh my gosh Sheriff, I love you.
35. I am going to refuse to acknowledge the entire 4-minute scene with Guy in full armor exists because it is:
a. totally melodramatic
b. really embarassing on Guy's part
c. generally terrible
Guy looks like something out of a B science fiction film from the '60s.
36. "You seem to have overestimated Gisborne's importance to me." Wow. Way to repay total obedience and loyalty.
37. I want to think that Marian held blacksmith-man up partly to save Guy's life. I think she did. I hope she did. Especially what with the hurt puppy look Robin is giving her.
38. "You saved Robin too." He wants to believe so badly. He won't let her hope. And he doesn't want Marian hurt. But he can't support her. And I love this pairing so damn much. I really want Guy to go back to helping Marian - even if she is making a fool of her.
39. Yeah, Robin. Let the kids spy for you and give them ID tags. That's not conspicuous at all. That won't get them killed.
THE NEXT EPISODE INVOLVES THE PLAUGE!