Demetri Martin
".a fly flew into my kitchen the other day, and that's when i realized that a spatula is much like a fly swatter... and a fly is much like a blueberry... and a roommate is much like a fly eater..."
".to make a mythical character, all you have to do, is add wings to an animal that already exists... a horse becomes pegasus... a lion becomes a griffin... and a hawk becomes... a double hawk..."
".when something good happens to me, i like to wait 2 weeks before i tell anyone... because i like to use the word, 'fortnight.' "
".i just got pajamas pants with pockets in them... i think it's really convenient, because before, i used to hold everything when i went to sleep... now, i take out my planner from my pocket... it says 'keep sleeping,' ..."
DEMETRI MARTIN is hilarious. his sense of humor... is just awesome to me. i laugh, i laugh. i lol, if you will.
".to make a mythical character, all you have to do, is add wings to an animal that already exists... a horse becomes pegasus... a lion becomes a griffin... and a hawk becomes... a double hawk..."
".when something good happens to me, i like to wait 2 weeks before i tell anyone... because i like to use the word, 'fortnight.' "
".i just got pajamas pants with pockets in them... i think it's really convenient, because before, i used to hold everything when i went to sleep... now, i take out my planner from my pocket... it says 'keep sleeping,' ..."
DEMETRI MARTIN is hilarious. his sense of humor... is just awesome to me. i laugh, i laugh. i lol, if you will.