i miss my old fandom
;______; why cant it come back?? i guess i should start by being loyal to toma once again..... its just his rapidly growing popularity turns me off. its like what tan said about herself (which is obviously true to me too) .... what was it again? something about not liking old and popular people :] toma's old, not age wise but how long he's been in the business, and now he's popular. the same goes with Kanjani8 and AAA. but the thing is.... i WANT to get back into toma and kanjani8 >____< basically JE! even though i am slowly coming back to JE (like HSJ & JUNIORS wise, and actually keeping up with the debut groups) its not the same as how it was before. WHY AM I SO OVERLY DRAMATIC OVER THIS. THE ONE THING IN MY LIFE I DO NOT NEED TO HAVE ME FUSSING OVER. man, does fangirling get me worked up.
i miss the loyalty i had. i stopped buying merchandise after AAA. i stopped counting down to release dates after Kanjani8. i stopped making new fanfriends after AAA. i stopped talking unendlessly about ONE person/group per time era after Kanjani8..... wow my life use to revolve around JE. i thought i wouldnt be able to live w/o it and i thought life was meaningless w/o it. i thought happiness was only JE and i thought everything directly led back to JE. yeah, no matter how lame it was, i really miss those times. i cant clearly say who my favorite is now. even though i just say Arashi, its not like i listen to them everyday, keep up with them by the second or congratulate them after every little thing they've accomplished. its not like before.
i also miss all of the people i use to talk to, mainly from the IT & 8sin forums. that was like....... the highlight of my life.
HAHA EW IM SO EMOTIONAL. SOMEONE SLAP ME. am i going through midlife crisis?!?!?! is my life almost over?!?!?!?!
:(
ciao.