AND ANOTHER THING! (tm lamia_prime)
Yet another reason that I'm not thrilled with the "play nice" admonitions:
Fandom is largely a girl thing. Not to denigrate the contributions of the XYs among us (or transguys or genderqueers, for that matter), but fandom has traditionally been one of the few places where women are the majority.
Girls are traditionally socialized to "play nice". Avoid conflict, be a peacemaker, "maybe if you weren't so shrill and bitchy people would listen to you more." Be ladylike, don't raise your voice. Don't be "intimidating". Cater to other people's needs and feelings before your own. Don't be so "selfish". Be careful not to hurt somebody's feelings, even if it's a boy who won't leave you alone -- let him down easily; if he won't take no for an answer it means he likes you!
Any of these sound familiar in your life?
Me, I don't play that game.
Fandom is largely a girl thing. Not to denigrate the contributions of the XYs among us (or transguys or genderqueers, for that matter), but fandom has traditionally been one of the few places where women are the majority.
Girls are traditionally socialized to "play nice". Avoid conflict, be a peacemaker, "maybe if you weren't so shrill and bitchy people would listen to you more." Be ladylike, don't raise your voice. Don't be "intimidating". Cater to other people's needs and feelings before your own. Don't be so "selfish". Be careful not to hurt somebody's feelings, even if it's a boy who won't leave you alone -- let him down easily; if he won't take no for an answer it means he likes you!
Any of these sound familiar in your life?
Me, I don't play that game.