(no subject)
"If you want a job done efficiently, give it to the laziest guy on the line."
(attributed to Frank B. Gilbreth, pioneer of time-motion study and ergonomics)
This morning at Gattaca Law Farm I created a database for all of Lawyer #1's billing. By doing this one tedious task once, I'll be able to zip through the monthly billing process that Dead Secretary had been doing by hand for approximately 8 years.
Once again, it appears I'm the only secretary around here who actually takes full advantage of the software we're supposed to specialize in. For some reason, I'm the only one who knows how to use Excel for something other than simple list-making, I'm the only one who knows how to do a mail merge, I'm the only one who doesn't break into a sweat at the idea of generating a Table of Authorities.
This is because I am a slacker. No, really! If the computer can do it for me, why should I do it myself? This is the 21st goddamn century. I can't have a flying car or a vacation on the moon (yet - I think the moon vacation will be a possibility in the next 20 years or less); robot butlers don't exist and I can't even afford a Roomba; but by Hermes, my computer can do my billing for me and so it shall!
So why hasn't Gattaca hired me yet? Possibly because my laziness/efficiency means I don't look as busy as everyone else and I have enough time to get myself in trouble by, oh, say, goofing around on Livejournal? Hmm....
On a separate but related note: I've decided that the LJ-moniker of Lawyer #1 will in future be "Harvard". He's such a fucking stereotype: the whitest of white guys, wears a bow tie fer fook's sake, alumnus of Groton, Harvard and Oxford. All the guest chairs in his office are those Harvard Windsor chairs, the black and gold ones with the Harvard crest and "Veritas" on them and all that shit. He has a framed 19th century map of Oxford University on his wall, with all the arms of all the colleges around the edges. Blech. On one hand, I understand that he's a partner, gotta grandstand, impress the clients and all that crap. But on the other, it's a bit much, in my opinion. This is the intellectual equivalent of the guy who drives a Ferrari, you know? Overcompensating for... well, you know what I think he's overcompensating for, so no need to say more.
As for Lawyer #2, who used to be Pregnant Lawyer, I need a new LJ-moniker for her now that she's no longer Pregnant. I don't want to call her Mommy Lawyer or anything like that, and right now her personality is still unclear to me. I'll keep you posted, since I'm sure you're just sweating with anticipation. *rolls eyes*
(attributed to Frank B. Gilbreth, pioneer of time-motion study and ergonomics)
This morning at Gattaca Law Farm I created a database for all of Lawyer #1's billing. By doing this one tedious task once, I'll be able to zip through the monthly billing process that Dead Secretary had been doing by hand for approximately 8 years.
Once again, it appears I'm the only secretary around here who actually takes full advantage of the software we're supposed to specialize in. For some reason, I'm the only one who knows how to use Excel for something other than simple list-making, I'm the only one who knows how to do a mail merge, I'm the only one who doesn't break into a sweat at the idea of generating a Table of Authorities.
This is because I am a slacker. No, really! If the computer can do it for me, why should I do it myself? This is the 21st goddamn century. I can't have a flying car or a vacation on the moon (yet - I think the moon vacation will be a possibility in the next 20 years or less); robot butlers don't exist and I can't even afford a Roomba; but by Hermes, my computer can do my billing for me and so it shall!
So why hasn't Gattaca hired me yet? Possibly because my laziness/efficiency means I don't look as busy as everyone else and I have enough time to get myself in trouble by, oh, say, goofing around on Livejournal? Hmm....
On a separate but related note: I've decided that the LJ-moniker of Lawyer #1 will in future be "Harvard". He's such a fucking stereotype: the whitest of white guys, wears a bow tie fer fook's sake, alumnus of Groton, Harvard and Oxford. All the guest chairs in his office are those Harvard Windsor chairs, the black and gold ones with the Harvard crest and "Veritas" on them and all that shit. He has a framed 19th century map of Oxford University on his wall, with all the arms of all the colleges around the edges. Blech. On one hand, I understand that he's a partner, gotta grandstand, impress the clients and all that crap. But on the other, it's a bit much, in my opinion. This is the intellectual equivalent of the guy who drives a Ferrari, you know? Overcompensating for... well, you know what I think he's overcompensating for, so no need to say more.
As for Lawyer #2, who used to be Pregnant Lawyer, I need a new LJ-moniker for her now that she's no longer Pregnant. I don't want to call her Mommy Lawyer or anything like that, and right now her personality is still unclear to me. I'll keep you posted, since I'm sure you're just sweating with anticipation. *rolls eyes*