Fucked.
I am sitting here in (one of) my Ani shirts, green sweatshirt, jeans. Cold feet. Thinking about how I will not be going back to school this year, for the first time ever. And I am perfectly ok with that. One less bureaucracy to deal with. Annoyed that I had to spend a good chunk of my money on more lotion for my face, damn you expensive skin care. Reading the last few pages of "Igniting a Revolution", the book that had made me far too antsy to go to work and say the dreaded "Can I help you?" nice and politely over and over and over, while I keep everything perfectly micro-managed and under control, because I am trying to get that promotion to make more money so I can pay off my loans buy a car, an apartment, midwifery school, aka GET THE HELL OUT faster than I could on this 8.75 an hour position. The pressure builds, and it is harder for me to keep my two halves together when I feel that one is grossly betraying the other.