ROCK!
So I'm on lunch right now, I still can't get through to EMU to find out stuff. I called Katie and woke her up, I still don't know why she got up in the middle of the night to sleep on the couch and why she never told me. I have a meeting with my head doctor today, I honestly don't think I need to go. My confidence is building everyday and as far as I know I don't have any more anger problems. Yes, I get pissed off when the baby duck shits on the floor. And yes, I know it isn't the ducks fault and that it has no control, it's just how I am. I like animals and I can easily become attached to them, but some animals are meant to be outside. I have my guitar lesson tonight, I haven't practiced as much as I should have or I would be at least 3 weeks ahead, I am picking it up like my brother did. It isn't that hard. It was when I was doing it by myself but for some reason when Perry tells me what to do I get it a whole lot easier. I will this week. I am going to practice like cock-fucking crazy! I want to learn and I want to play and I want to write music to go along with all of the songs I've written over the past year (if I can find them all).
I feel like I am worth something I don't know where this feeling came from, but I do. Like I said my confidence is going through the roof, I could sit here at work naked and not give a tick. I finally like myself so I fail to see a reason to continue to go see my shrink. If I keep at this rate I really will become concieted, but after all I am the best :p. I was pissy earlier because we are busy but I'm all kinds of happy right now. I have a great girlfriend, great friends and I've made a lot of new friends that I get to keep in contact with online (even if some of them are 15 and 16). It doesn't matter. I have a lot of good things going for me right now. I want to go to school for the experience, but I don't want a regular job. I am going to learn to play guitar weather Wust Volk takes me or not and I am going to do that for the rest of my life. Being on stage is one of the most beautiful feelings I have ever had. You go on stage, grab a mic or an instrument and go nutts and act out your fantasies and dreams. I want to do that for the rest of my life and I want to take my friends along for the ride. I want to be famous and be hassled for my autograph and pictures and I want to be noticed EVERYWHERE I go. That's just how I am and what I want. I want my life to be obsessed over by the media if I have a new girlfriend everyweek I want the world to know all of their names. This is the life I want. The life of a celebrity. Why settle for anything less?! It isn't that hard it's just people lack ambition and vision and I have ambition like you wouldn't fucking believe and I have creativity and vision and I can fucking do this. Hell everywhere I go now poeple think I'm in a band and at shows I sign autographs and take pictures with people and they know that I'm not in a band. So why not go all the way. I get asked to sign things at every show. I get treated like I'm a fucking rock star at every show. And damn it I want the world to treat me this way. Fuck the quiet life that sounds boring to me. I want New York fucking city for 3 years and then London and then LA and then Chicago. That is 12 years right there where I know I want to live and it ain't here. I really want this and I am going to do everything to get it.
I just wonder how many of you would be willing to go with me.
I feel like I am worth something I don't know where this feeling came from, but I do. Like I said my confidence is going through the roof, I could sit here at work naked and not give a tick. I finally like myself so I fail to see a reason to continue to go see my shrink. If I keep at this rate I really will become concieted, but after all I am the best :p. I was pissy earlier because we are busy but I'm all kinds of happy right now. I have a great girlfriend, great friends and I've made a lot of new friends that I get to keep in contact with online (even if some of them are 15 and 16). It doesn't matter. I have a lot of good things going for me right now. I want to go to school for the experience, but I don't want a regular job. I am going to learn to play guitar weather Wust Volk takes me or not and I am going to do that for the rest of my life. Being on stage is one of the most beautiful feelings I have ever had. You go on stage, grab a mic or an instrument and go nutts and act out your fantasies and dreams. I want to do that for the rest of my life and I want to take my friends along for the ride. I want to be famous and be hassled for my autograph and pictures and I want to be noticed EVERYWHERE I go. That's just how I am and what I want. I want my life to be obsessed over by the media if I have a new girlfriend everyweek I want the world to know all of their names. This is the life I want. The life of a celebrity. Why settle for anything less?! It isn't that hard it's just people lack ambition and vision and I have ambition like you wouldn't fucking believe and I have creativity and vision and I can fucking do this. Hell everywhere I go now poeple think I'm in a band and at shows I sign autographs and take pictures with people and they know that I'm not in a band. So why not go all the way. I get asked to sign things at every show. I get treated like I'm a fucking rock star at every show. And damn it I want the world to treat me this way. Fuck the quiet life that sounds boring to me. I want New York fucking city for 3 years and then London and then LA and then Chicago. That is 12 years right there where I know I want to live and it ain't here. I really want this and I am going to do everything to get it.
I just wonder how many of you would be willing to go with me.