Say Something Forward
Clothes! Clean clothes! Sheets! Clean sheets!
I hung stuff on my wall today. Everythings a little bit...crooked.
I’ve been thinking about my dorm room, which I know sounds like a strange (boring) thing to fixate on, but
Because it’s actually the first space I’ve ever had that is really all my own and when I go there I am actually alone. That’s not to say I don’t know/get along with/like the people in my dorm. I’m not friends with them. Not even close acquaintances. I’ve never hung out with any of them (except for that one party I went to in the common room, yes, an actual party with drinking, smoking, never-have-I-ever in the common room of the fucking dormitory, I love this country), and all of the conversations with them are small talk when we pass in the hallway or use the kitchen at the same time. Not cold, but very distant. So, no friends in the dorm at all. In fact, no one that I hang out with/talk to on a regular basis lives within walking distance of my dorm. I have to travel for half an hour or 45 minutes to get to people.
The other rooms I’ve lived in…well, my dorm room at Oberlin, both years it was pretty much the same deal, and I’ve come to think of that space as mine-and-Alyse’s. I love living with Alyse, I couldn’t have gotten a better roommate if I’d created the person myself out of popsicle sticks and glue, and I like the fact that the room is both of ours even though we have our own halves. (I’m not complaining about never having a space that is really my own and no other person’s, I’m just commenting on it. In fact, sometimes I hate it so much and wish to god Alyse was just right over there, where she usually is). My bedroom at home, while mine, was still not blocked off from my family at all. They were in there a lot, all the time, and just like my brother and sister’s bedroom weren’t foreign territory to me, my bedroom wasn’t foreign territory to them. We didn’t lock our doors and everybody in my family was all up in my business. (Which I also hated. I hated how my mom would come in my room at 8 in the morning to grab something or drop off something or tell me something and wake me up even though I’d gone to bed a three. It was annoying as all hell.)
So, yeah, the now room is my very first very own space. Meaning no other person that I have an emotional connection is anywhere near it. Katie, Jetti, and Dot were in here for about an hour or two once. That’s the only time anyone else has been in my room, except for one time a girl in my hallway traded me a twenty p piece for two ten p pieces so she could do her laundry. It was so strange when she came into my room because I realized that since I’d moved in, no one else had ever, EVER, been in it. I’m used to the people in my life being in the place I’m living a lot of the time, we hang out in my room a lot at Oberlin, not just me, Jetti, and Alyse, but pretty much everyone I’ve ever been even casual friends with has not just been in my room but spent some time in there. And at home, we’re always hanging out in my room, or the Media room, or the kitchen, or whatever. It’s just…strange to be living here. But also kinda nice.
I hung stuff on my wall today. Everythings a little bit...crooked.
I’ve been thinking about my dorm room, which I know sounds like a strange (boring) thing to fixate on, but
Because it’s actually the first space I’ve ever had that is really all my own and when I go there I am actually alone. That’s not to say I don’t know/get along with/like the people in my dorm. I’m not friends with them. Not even close acquaintances. I’ve never hung out with any of them (except for that one party I went to in the common room, yes, an actual party with drinking, smoking, never-have-I-ever in the common room of the fucking dormitory, I love this country), and all of the conversations with them are small talk when we pass in the hallway or use the kitchen at the same time. Not cold, but very distant. So, no friends in the dorm at all. In fact, no one that I hang out with/talk to on a regular basis lives within walking distance of my dorm. I have to travel for half an hour or 45 minutes to get to people.
The other rooms I’ve lived in…well, my dorm room at Oberlin, both years it was pretty much the same deal, and I’ve come to think of that space as mine-and-Alyse’s. I love living with Alyse, I couldn’t have gotten a better roommate if I’d created the person myself out of popsicle sticks and glue, and I like the fact that the room is both of ours even though we have our own halves. (I’m not complaining about never having a space that is really my own and no other person’s, I’m just commenting on it. In fact, sometimes I hate it so much and wish to god Alyse was just right over there, where she usually is). My bedroom at home, while mine, was still not blocked off from my family at all. They were in there a lot, all the time, and just like my brother and sister’s bedroom weren’t foreign territory to me, my bedroom wasn’t foreign territory to them. We didn’t lock our doors and everybody in my family was all up in my business. (Which I also hated. I hated how my mom would come in my room at 8 in the morning to grab something or drop off something or tell me something and wake me up even though I’d gone to bed a three. It was annoying as all hell.)
So, yeah, the now room is my very first very own space. Meaning no other person that I have an emotional connection is anywhere near it. Katie, Jetti, and Dot were in here for about an hour or two once. That’s the only time anyone else has been in my room, except for one time a girl in my hallway traded me a twenty p piece for two ten p pieces so she could do her laundry. It was so strange when she came into my room because I realized that since I’d moved in, no one else had ever, EVER, been in it. I’m used to the people in my life being in the place I’m living a lot of the time, we hang out in my room a lot at Oberlin, not just me, Jetti, and Alyse, but pretty much everyone I’ve ever been even casual friends with has not just been in my room but spent some time in there. And at home, we’re always hanging out in my room, or the Media room, or the kitchen, or whatever. It’s just…strange to be living here. But also kinda nice.