Further Down the Spiral
My Nine Inch Nails DVD arrived today. The video for "The Perfect Drug" is beautiful - I adore it. "We're in this Together" is an interesting video, too. And oh God, I love "Closer". It's just surreal how all the images in these videos are so similar to the warped illusions that difuse through my thoughts. I suppose they were put there from somewhere, though. The pig's head in "Closer" reminded me of a nightmare I had; I was running down and down endless flights of stairs, being chased, jumping over the rails to get away, falling, hitting the concrete, at the bottom: a door: the door opens: a human with a rotting pig's head, staring through me with dead eyes... you're a liar it says... it raises a hoofed hand... eats it's hand...
Back to reality. The shop I work in closed down today. It was strange, it being so empty. I had to work double my hours to help clear it out, but it wasn't too bad. I'll be going all the way to Cambridge to be re-trained as a Monsoon sales assistent. Oh the joy. And because it's so far away, I'm only working one day every two weeks and having to compress two weeks work into one day.
Yesterday I went shopping with a few of my friends. It was not fun. Rach and I arrived on time. We waited half an hour for Steph and Emma. They still didn't turn up, so we phoned them. They had been up the town for two hours alread and were shopping without us. Thanks. We met up... had lunch in Nando's (I saw Richard hanging round outside - he must have been on study leave, too)... and we ended up going in three shops in three hours. It was driving me insane. And each shop was the same. Except they were getting more and more expensive, and I was getting more and more frustrated. They were the most rediculous clothes. The kind "fashinable" people wear and make look "good" when everyone else looks like a clown in them. I took out my frustration by being loudly sarcastic about everything. Then I got bored of waiting for Steph and Emma in the changing rooms so dragged Rach into the music shop. Browsing through the CDs... becoming upset that I simply couldn't afford to buy anything. How the hell I managed to spend twenty pounds on nothing that day I don't know. As I was looking at the HIM albums (even though I have them all) I see Richard looking through the Metal section too. Even though I'll probably never get the chance to shatter my illusions of him ... it's always good to just see him.