Pause...Rewind...Play
One year ago my life and entries looked like this....
Funny how you can have everything and nothing
That is me. I have everything, but it means nothing. I am not happy. Sometimes with financial gain there is an emotional loss. It is assumed that because you can afford to buy things that you no longer have the right to complain. People think you are a spoiled brat if you do that. But I am sad, sadder than most, yet still I feel wrong crying when other people are stuggling to make rent or with parental issues. But I feel like I am close to dead inside. I feel that every step forward is two steps back.
I cant get a hold of Kim and I am very worried. She is so important to me and I dont know what I will do if anything has happened to her. I called her house the other nite, cuz i cant reach her on her cell, and her step mom got angry that i had called after 9. I think Kim is one of the ppl that truly can make me happy, and that can handle me crying. instead of being uncomfortable she just comforts me. Seems to be hard to find in a person these days. KIM IF YOU ARE READING THIS PLZ CALL MY CELL 619 933-5751.
Sometimes I jst feel like cutting again. I know i have the right tools to take it too far, and that is slightly scary. But sometimes I just dont care. Like the other day I was so upset and I was washing a frying pan and i started wondering how hard I would have to hit myself to knock myself out, and how hard to kill myself.
I feel like I need serious help...but I also feel like maybe I am just a wimp who cant handle a few sad days. i mean plenty of ppl get by day to day with out a psychologist, what makes me need or deserve one?
..................................................................................Fast Forward
It still hurts to be judged by my parents money, but I realized it is not my issue but that persons own.
I still worry about Kim, not because I cant get ahold of her but because she is entering into an uncertain fututre. but then again arent we all?
Cutting, I havent felt like cutting since I started getting my tattoos. I still feel the need for physical pain, but I deal with it through working out.
I am happier than ever!I am still a sensitive girl. But i am no wimp. if anything I am stronger than most I made a 1 year turnaround to which multiple doctors did not believe i could.
37lbs lighter, I would like to thank Lori and Tiara for their rude comments. They got me started losing the weight. Danielle: 1 The mean people:0
I have the best relationship in the world with the most beautiful girl. We are 2 months and going strong. She is moving in with me. And we are going on vacation to san fran soon. To be with her for life is not a sentence but a privelage.
Funny how you can have everything and nothing
That is me. I have everything, but it means nothing. I am not happy. Sometimes with financial gain there is an emotional loss. It is assumed that because you can afford to buy things that you no longer have the right to complain. People think you are a spoiled brat if you do that. But I am sad, sadder than most, yet still I feel wrong crying when other people are stuggling to make rent or with parental issues. But I feel like I am close to dead inside. I feel that every step forward is two steps back.
I cant get a hold of Kim and I am very worried. She is so important to me and I dont know what I will do if anything has happened to her. I called her house the other nite, cuz i cant reach her on her cell, and her step mom got angry that i had called after 9. I think Kim is one of the ppl that truly can make me happy, and that can handle me crying. instead of being uncomfortable she just comforts me. Seems to be hard to find in a person these days. KIM IF YOU ARE READING THIS PLZ CALL MY CELL 619 933-5751.
Sometimes I jst feel like cutting again. I know i have the right tools to take it too far, and that is slightly scary. But sometimes I just dont care. Like the other day I was so upset and I was washing a frying pan and i started wondering how hard I would have to hit myself to knock myself out, and how hard to kill myself.
I feel like I need serious help...but I also feel like maybe I am just a wimp who cant handle a few sad days. i mean plenty of ppl get by day to day with out a psychologist, what makes me need or deserve one?
..................................................................................Fast Forward
It still hurts to be judged by my parents money, but I realized it is not my issue but that persons own.
I still worry about Kim, not because I cant get ahold of her but because she is entering into an uncertain fututre. but then again arent we all?
Cutting, I havent felt like cutting since I started getting my tattoos. I still feel the need for physical pain, but I deal with it through working out.
I am happier than ever!I am still a sensitive girl. But i am no wimp. if anything I am stronger than most I made a 1 year turnaround to which multiple doctors did not believe i could.
37lbs lighter, I would like to thank Lori and Tiara for their rude comments. They got me started losing the weight. Danielle: 1 The mean people:0
I have the best relationship in the world with the most beautiful girl. We are 2 months and going strong. She is moving in with me. And we are going on vacation to san fran soon. To be with her for life is not a sentence but a privelage.