depressed in losungeles?? naw, i just cant motivate myself every second of my life...
hmmm, i often question do i have depression?
morelike, can i figure what on earth am i here for? has been the longest question since my existence!
they say depression makes u sleepy...i guess..i dunno. thank God i sleep like a baby and its a gift! but when i oversleep on purpose, its horrible...i mean, i do not like to sleep. if i could be working, playing or do something productive, i rather do that, but i use sleep as an escape...
i feel/think that sleeping it off will help me through my troubles and my wandering thoughts, but nope...im a restless person, so sleeping out of appropriation is yuck to me, yet i do it. i can say that i have slept for months (more than averaging sleeping hours) at a time cause i was so down and out and not knowing what was next in life for me...i have to admit to this day, i have done it and continue to do it...getting up for me and saying, u have purpose in this life, ur not expendable, ur not...get up already cause ur mom said ur wasting the day if u oversleep and u wont be able to enjoy the day He has made!! (okay, she didnt say it like that bcuz she's still having a hard time believing there is a Wonderful Jesus, who died and rose for us), or the sun beats on my face and says hey u feel that warmth, u know how nice it is our here and ur missin' this! come on!
ive got to make meaningful choices so help me God my Wonderful Father!
too this day and still trying to figure what the heck am i going to do until retirement...wait, i wont b able to retire the way i am going, since i have not had a steady long job for more than two years ever since i got my useless bachelors.
it has been hell and getting more hellish these days...i mean, im thinking positive, reading the Word, and know that things will get better...
but what the heck is my calling, my passion, where i can work the rest of my life and not worry about the pay. though, i have a wife and i would love to pamper her when needed.
ive read on inspiration, watched vdos on youtube, happily eating, worked out, helped others, etc...but i cant seem to find that drive...
u can say 'well ur married now, so ur azz should b amped to get going and make something of urself!'
yes, of course i should b amped...
but i am not...
its not easy to be self-motivating everyday of ur life and not knowing what is going to happen, or what can i make happen to make my life more meaningful and those i love around me.
*huge sigh*
"transforming walls into doors"
question mark.
"u may not receive miracles, but u may b a miracle to someone else."
this quote i must correct, we receive miracles everyday, from our first breath, to functioning limbs and a mind to chose God as a Father is a wonderful miracle!
Dearest Father God, help me get over myself and discover Your ways as mine, Amen.
morelike, can i figure what on earth am i here for? has been the longest question since my existence!
they say depression makes u sleepy...i guess..i dunno. thank God i sleep like a baby and its a gift! but when i oversleep on purpose, its horrible...i mean, i do not like to sleep. if i could be working, playing or do something productive, i rather do that, but i use sleep as an escape...
i feel/think that sleeping it off will help me through my troubles and my wandering thoughts, but nope...im a restless person, so sleeping out of appropriation is yuck to me, yet i do it. i can say that i have slept for months (more than averaging sleeping hours) at a time cause i was so down and out and not knowing what was next in life for me...i have to admit to this day, i have done it and continue to do it...getting up for me and saying, u have purpose in this life, ur not expendable, ur not...get up already cause ur mom said ur wasting the day if u oversleep and u wont be able to enjoy the day He has made!! (okay, she didnt say it like that bcuz she's still having a hard time believing there is a Wonderful Jesus, who died and rose for us), or the sun beats on my face and says hey u feel that warmth, u know how nice it is our here and ur missin' this! come on!
ive got to make meaningful choices so help me God my Wonderful Father!
too this day and still trying to figure what the heck am i going to do until retirement...wait, i wont b able to retire the way i am going, since i have not had a steady long job for more than two years ever since i got my useless bachelors.
it has been hell and getting more hellish these days...i mean, im thinking positive, reading the Word, and know that things will get better...
but what the heck is my calling, my passion, where i can work the rest of my life and not worry about the pay. though, i have a wife and i would love to pamper her when needed.
ive read on inspiration, watched vdos on youtube, happily eating, worked out, helped others, etc...but i cant seem to find that drive...
u can say 'well ur married now, so ur azz should b amped to get going and make something of urself!'
yes, of course i should b amped...
but i am not...
its not easy to be self-motivating everyday of ur life and not knowing what is going to happen, or what can i make happen to make my life more meaningful and those i love around me.
*huge sigh*
"transforming walls into doors"
question mark.
"u may not receive miracles, but u may b a miracle to someone else."
this quote i must correct, we receive miracles everyday, from our first breath, to functioning limbs and a mind to chose God as a Father is a wonderful miracle!
Dearest Father God, help me get over myself and discover Your ways as mine, Amen.