Jan 23, 2009 01:11
So I've been mocked for being an open book. I've been accused of being an emotionless bitch. I've been called confusing. I have done nothing but tell everyone the truth all the time. But there's that phrase used mainly in courtrooms... "the truth, the WHOLE truth, and nothing but the truth." That is where the problem lies. The WHOLE truth. No matter how truthful a person is... there are always things that don't get said. It's called tact. After all aren't "some things better left unsaid?" So we're told. And so we believe. I spent the last some odd moments of my life writing things. To people. Everything I'd love to say and can't. Why? Because society says so. Our mothers say so. "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Not even that... what good will saying something hurtful do either of you? It's always a risk; saying what's on your mind. Even the most blunt people have a screening process. Minus those with medical conditions (thanks Grey's). I somewhat envy that... to have an excuse to tell anyone and everyone EXACTLY what you think. But then of course... who knows where I'd stand with half of the people I know. Who knows what damage I would do to withstanding relationships. Or maybe what good I'd do... It seems that I feel like everything I keep inside is negative. Which I guess makes sense. Why wouldn't you tell someone all the good things you have to say? But also the harsh realities... the truths I see when I look into someone's eyes. What the situation they are in looks like from the outside. What I believe they are thinking and hiding. Although, I could be completely wrong so who's to say I have the right to tell them what's what. And it makes me think... what are people hiding from me? Sometimes I find out... usually through other people... and most of the time it hurts. The things people think about me... the UNtruths. So I wonder... if I shared my innermost thoughts with those they are about... would they correct me? Would it put me at ease? And them as well, knowing now that I have the correct ideas about them and what they stand for? Who knows.
I guess I never will.