don't know why
yeah i pretty much hate this journal.. which is why i haven't been updating it. barf. i leave for cornell next thursday.. so yeah. i guess im just updating to say so long suckers. This journal really pisses me off. I never write anything about me in it.. i mean like TRULY about me. its funny... well i guess maybe not SO funny.. but most of the people who i consider my closest friends ever read this journal.. and don't really even know anything about me.. or my life or how i actually am. Sometimes i think that im so tired of being secretive and lying and then others i remind myself that if people REALLY knew me.. the way i know me.. they wouldn't want to deal with all that comes along with it. I am not a princess. There i said it. I am NOT a princess... I'm not even happy... I'm not even me anymore. Sometimes i feel like I am looking at myself thru myself and i have no idea who i am.. and the things i do almost shock me... but i do them and they don't bother me because they are normal.. to me now. Its almost like the really cheesy opening scene of halloween when they shoot it thru that halloween mask as if YOU are michael myers... its a lame example but you know that you aren't and you don't feel like it is you. Thats how i feel more and more lately. Christ this is a pathetic post. Normally i wouldn't dare to post something like this on this journal. Right now i could care less. I mean I've still avoided the personal details, anything that caould tell you anything. I love my anonymity at times. So yeah... i don't think i'll be posting in this journal much anymore unless i have something stupid to say. I'll probably delete this later.. then again i could really care less.