Comments | spicy_diamond: [prompt bingo] [winter challenge] [heart no kuni] february

spicy_diamond

[prompt bingo] [winter challenge] [heart no kuni] february

Dec 29, 2010 23:28

Title: Better than Chocolate
Author: spicy_diamond
Fandom: Heart no Kuni no Alice
Rating: PG-13
Prompt: February
Challenge: promptbingo : Winter Challenge
Disclaimer: I own zilch, nada, zero... Nothing save for my own convoluted imaginings.
Summary: [Joker, Peter / Alice] Peter attempts to repay Alice for the Valentine's Day chocolates she gave him.
Words: 566
Author's Notes: ( Read more... )

fandom: heart no kuni no alice, challenge: winter, challenge: prompt bingo, fanfiction

Comments 7

harroe December 30 2010, 09:06:04 UTC

Peter always says that everything is for Alice, but in the end, it often looks like his actions are more for him. lol

Well, I don't want to be too hard on him. Occasionally he does something right.

I really liked your portrayal of Peter. The different parts of his personality came across in a very balanced way. Alice's interaction with him was nice too. Although, I saw some spelling errors that probably passed right through the spell check. The second paragraph, where Alice is speaking, "eat" shows up as "at". I think there were more, but I'm tired now.

Anyway, good job!

I loved it! *needs a Peter plushie to glomp at times like this*

spicy_diamond December 30 2010, 20:28:30 UTC

Ah, thank you for spotting the typo! I'll get that fixed right up.

Glad you liked my portrayal of Peter. XD Of course, we both like our Peter a bit on the Black side, so that probably helps some. Though, as I was finishing this, it occurred to me that I keep on jilting Peter any good moments with Alice in favor of seeing him get smacked around... ^.^0

(And yes, I would totally love a Peter plushie too. Like this. If only I wasn't so lazy when it comes to sewing. =.=0)

harroe December 30 2010, 22:08:36 UTC

Peter needs his black side or he's not a complete person. Although it's not just because of his black side that I like this story. I also like that there is some real communication going on between Peter and Alice. It's not full of, "Alice! Alice! I love you! I love you!" While I don't have a problem with Peter having those outbursts, I don't like when the conversation never progresses beyond that. *glares at Quinrose ( ... )

jinma_chan December 30 2010, 09:38:37 UTC

I think you know what I thought of this.

(hint: it's what I think of every HnknA fic you do) XD

spicy_diamond December 30 2010, 20:31:07 UTC

Hehe... Indeed~ XDDDD

Thank you~~

anonymous December 30 2010, 16:04:05 UTC

I'm not a huge Peter White fan, but this is making me change my mind... Great job once again!

spicy_diamond December 30 2010, 20:33:14 UTC

Peter has a tendency to grow on you, I think. But then, I love the dark/obsessive/stalker~y~ness of him. XD I'm happy to pull more fangirls into the fold!

Thank you!