letting everything about summer go
i think way way too much. but i think i actually got somewhere tonight with my obsessive thinking. but i dont like the conclusion i came up with.
ive decided, im going to say what i feel now and not pretend anymore. i wont pretend to care if i really dont. if this new resolution lasts even a week, ill be impressed with myself. im becoming too good with pretending and no longer do i know what is real or not anymore. however, i am pathetic and a coward sometimes. i back out of things i know i have to do but i just dont want to do because it hurts me too much. but not doing those things hurts me more. i need to understand that before i become too attatched.
so this concludes this entry. this is what i did tonight. tomorrow should be better though.
ive decided, im going to say what i feel now and not pretend anymore. i wont pretend to care if i really dont. if this new resolution lasts even a week, ill be impressed with myself. im becoming too good with pretending and no longer do i know what is real or not anymore. however, i am pathetic and a coward sometimes. i back out of things i know i have to do but i just dont want to do because it hurts me too much. but not doing those things hurts me more. i need to understand that before i become too attatched.
so this concludes this entry. this is what i did tonight. tomorrow should be better though.