unspeakable words...
It's been along time since I've posted anything in here. I've been living my life to the fullest and never have time for much anymore. Time just passes on by so fast that I can't believe it... tomorrow is the first day of December. It's wild this year has gone by so fast. To me it seems like it was yesterday when it started.
A lot has happened since the last post. I've moved yet again and to another location in Chaska. That's all that I'll say. I don't need strangers over at my house in the middle of the night. Only now, my mom and I are living with my brother John and his girlfriend Dulce. She pregnant you know... with his baby. It'll be his third kid and this time he's actually taking full responsiblity for this child unlike the others. Things are going okay with them being there. It's nice to have someone other than my mom to talk to all the time. I'm getting to know my brother more and lots about his girlfriend. She's kind of clung herself to what I like because she and I like alot of the same things, at least to her that is. I think she just likes the fact that another girl is in the house that isn't attracted to her boyfriend, she's a jealous one. John just talks to another girl and she's all up in him getting his wound up. It's a show stopper.
As for my mom, she's been clean off of the drugs since the end of February early March. I'm very proud of her. Her life almost ended again and this time no one was around, so I think that when she hit rock bottom and with no one she realized the bullshit had to end. She pays her bills and rent when they are due, she's still a shopaholic but so am I. We don't bicker as much as we used to just pick on each other more. It's fun... poking fun instead of bitching everyday at her or vice versa. I'm glad things are over with all that drama. A new life in Chaska has done her good and me too.
I've been paying bills on time and boosted my credit to where I was able to get an extra line of credit... a credit card. I love it... another card to use to pay bills or expenses period. I also have been good to myself this year, going to the doctor when I needed too instead of putting it off for like, ever. I hadn't been to a doctor in a couple of years. I got my flu shot this year and was the only one in the entire family that didn't get sick. I also took care of the Bronchitis problem I'd been having and I so took care of the chronic bleeding from my period; I've been on the pill for 4 months now and have so much relief. I don't have to wear a pad constantly and the fact that I don't have the symptoms of it either. I can wear pants and feel normal and sexy as a woman should. I also love the fact I don't have my period every single day of the month, I actually have a three week gap and have it for a week and a half maybe. So I can feel feminine for three weeks of a month which is so much better than the other way. I'll never go back and I don't plan on fucking this up. I can't afford not too. Plus the sex is alot better without blood getting in the way. Which I've been getting so much more of now that I don't get it all the time. I've missed having sex because of it and am so glad to be normal.
So all in all, things are going great. Still at my same ole' job but at a different desk with no phone. Just my cell phone. Which sucks but at least I can listen to music all day long and work my ass off. Being a kiss ass is so much fun because you get invited to things and get paid for it. What more could I ask for, I get paid more than I did and get to listen to music all day and work normally in a office. I couldn't be happier. I think I'm the happiest I've been in so many years. Just wish I could share it with a friend that I grew up with. I may have said things that were out of line and I've apologized I don't know how many times but I guess an apology isn't what she wants. I guess our friendship has ended over it because I have written her a letter, emailed her and called her. Guess I'm no longer welcome in her life. I guess I'm going to have to get over the fact that she and I will no longer be friends because of my actions. Guess fucking up just once in her eyes and saying the wrong thing about the wrong person gives someone the power to end something that's been there for years and before that person even entered her life. So, good luck and best wishes I hope she has the wedding of a lifetime and I pray she and her fiance have a happy future with lots of babies and love. I've loved her friendship more than anything and it's gone. So a big part of me is missing and I hope that hole will eventually go away because that's the only reason I still feel sad sometimes. Especially when I'm alone and want to share something to someone and can't. I guess I have to make new friends.
Well got to go... my day is done here at work. I'm clocking out.
Happy Holiday's if I don't get back to posting another long entry.
Melissa
A lot has happened since the last post. I've moved yet again and to another location in Chaska. That's all that I'll say. I don't need strangers over at my house in the middle of the night. Only now, my mom and I are living with my brother John and his girlfriend Dulce. She pregnant you know... with his baby. It'll be his third kid and this time he's actually taking full responsiblity for this child unlike the others. Things are going okay with them being there. It's nice to have someone other than my mom to talk to all the time. I'm getting to know my brother more and lots about his girlfriend. She's kind of clung herself to what I like because she and I like alot of the same things, at least to her that is. I think she just likes the fact that another girl is in the house that isn't attracted to her boyfriend, she's a jealous one. John just talks to another girl and she's all up in him getting his wound up. It's a show stopper.
As for my mom, she's been clean off of the drugs since the end of February early March. I'm very proud of her. Her life almost ended again and this time no one was around, so I think that when she hit rock bottom and with no one she realized the bullshit had to end. She pays her bills and rent when they are due, she's still a shopaholic but so am I. We don't bicker as much as we used to just pick on each other more. It's fun... poking fun instead of bitching everyday at her or vice versa. I'm glad things are over with all that drama. A new life in Chaska has done her good and me too.
I've been paying bills on time and boosted my credit to where I was able to get an extra line of credit... a credit card. I love it... another card to use to pay bills or expenses period. I also have been good to myself this year, going to the doctor when I needed too instead of putting it off for like, ever. I hadn't been to a doctor in a couple of years. I got my flu shot this year and was the only one in the entire family that didn't get sick. I also took care of the Bronchitis problem I'd been having and I so took care of the chronic bleeding from my period; I've been on the pill for 4 months now and have so much relief. I don't have to wear a pad constantly and the fact that I don't have the symptoms of it either. I can wear pants and feel normal and sexy as a woman should. I also love the fact I don't have my period every single day of the month, I actually have a three week gap and have it for a week and a half maybe. So I can feel feminine for three weeks of a month which is so much better than the other way. I'll never go back and I don't plan on fucking this up. I can't afford not too. Plus the sex is alot better without blood getting in the way. Which I've been getting so much more of now that I don't get it all the time. I've missed having sex because of it and am so glad to be normal.
So all in all, things are going great. Still at my same ole' job but at a different desk with no phone. Just my cell phone. Which sucks but at least I can listen to music all day long and work my ass off. Being a kiss ass is so much fun because you get invited to things and get paid for it. What more could I ask for, I get paid more than I did and get to listen to music all day and work normally in a office. I couldn't be happier. I think I'm the happiest I've been in so many years. Just wish I could share it with a friend that I grew up with. I may have said things that were out of line and I've apologized I don't know how many times but I guess an apology isn't what she wants. I guess our friendship has ended over it because I have written her a letter, emailed her and called her. Guess I'm no longer welcome in her life. I guess I'm going to have to get over the fact that she and I will no longer be friends because of my actions. Guess fucking up just once in her eyes and saying the wrong thing about the wrong person gives someone the power to end something that's been there for years and before that person even entered her life. So, good luck and best wishes I hope she has the wedding of a lifetime and I pray she and her fiance have a happy future with lots of babies and love. I've loved her friendship more than anything and it's gone. So a big part of me is missing and I hope that hole will eventually go away because that's the only reason I still feel sad sometimes. Especially when I'm alone and want to share something to someone and can't. I guess I have to make new friends.
Well got to go... my day is done here at work. I'm clocking out.
Happy Holiday's if I don't get back to posting another long entry.
Melissa