Fishing at the Lethe
“Missy, this is Alec, our resident moron. Alec, this is Missy. She just arrived this morning, be nice.” Max introduced the young woman while shooting a warning glare at Alec that he chose to ignore.
“Hello, Missy. Nice to meet you. Welcome to Terminal City, where all us freaks are doomed together.” He held out his hand and she took it; shaking it briefly. She looked a bit familiar, brown hair and eyes that seemed to be looking through him more than at him. “Have we met before?”
Missy smiled, but her eyes still didn’t quite focus on him. “Not officially, but I did see you in passing. Maybe that’s what you remember.”
“Oh yeah,” He studied her face harder but couldn’t place it. “Where were you assigned at Manticore?”
“I was in PsyOps.” She said. “But don’t worry; I was assigned as a communication liaison to the X7’s. I didn’t do any evaluations or reprogramming. The only reason I know you is because, well, you were a little famous.” Missy smiled softly.
“Famous, huh.” Max smirked at him. “For what, his big mouth?” She joked. Alec ignored her. He had an idea what had made him so famous.
“Oh my, no. X5-494 clocked more hours in PsyOps than anyone else. He visited three separate times and wasn’t eliminated. He’s quite the survivor.” She reached out to pat him on the head, but Alec ducked away from her hand. “Poor thing. I would have killed you if I could have gotten away with it.” There was compassion in her eyes, focused far away maybe, but Alec could see it was sincere.
Max was staring at Missy like she’d just grown a second head. “Thanks,” Alec murmured to Missy. He remembered being probed, lasers in his eyes for hours at a time. Feeling someone root around in his head and not knowing what they were changing. Laying in his bunk at night wondering how much of himself was left. The tests to see if his mind would crack under pressure. It didn’t, but so many times he’d wished it had. When it seemed like a bullet to the back of his head would have been a-okay with him. And yet he’d lived, his primal directive to survive winning over everything.
It was nice to know that someone had seen him suffer, that his pain had been acknowledged. He didn’t blame her for not doing anything for him back then. They were all soldiers, and she hadn’t had orders to help him, just like he hadn’t had permission to die.
Max was staring at both of them now, and it rankled that she was judging them based on something there was no way she could understand. “Alec?” She used her sympathetic voice. It might fool other people, but Alec knew that sympathy was just another word for pity, and he wasn’t interested in Max’s pity.
“Well, it’s been nice meeting you, Missy. Max, I’ll see you next time you need me for something.” He did a quick, mock salute and made his escape.
As soon as things had calmed down and he’d realized they’d be living here for a while Alec had claimed his own room. It wasn’t big, just a modest storage closet in its past life, but it had enough room for him to stretch out and there were a minimum of mysterious stains on the floor and walls. He entered his room and shut the door behind him, blocking out the rest of Terminal City. He had a sleeping bag, some food, a radio, and a couple of novels hidden under a pile of old playboys he’d found. He had an image to protect, after all.
He lay down on top of his sleeping bag and tucked his hands under his head. Stared at the ceiling. Waited for Max to show up.
She wouldn’t be able to resist coming to comfort poor, tortured Alec. She didn’t get that it happened, it changed him, but it was in the past. He had a life now and if he found himself dwelling on Manticore and everything that happened to him there he grabbed a few drinks and found a willing woman to lose himself in for a few hours. Which was his plan as soon Max showed up. If he went now, well, Max was the biggest cock block in the history of the world. She’d show up and scare away all the women with her scowl.
A knock at the door signaled Max’s arrival. Alec pulled himself up and answered the door.
“Max, nice to see you. I’m on my way out actually, but I could be convinced to stay if you take your clothes off.” He waggled his eyebrows and leered. The little disgusted sneer showed up right on schedule.
“In your horny, pathetic dreams.” She said. Then he saw her feel bad about insulting him, and that just wouldn’t do.
“Surprisingly, no. I guess my subconscious has taste.” He smiled at her huff. He gently shouldered his way past her in the doorway and closed the door behind him. “Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to find someone who doesn’t have a giant stick up their ass to spend time with.” He headed down the hallway, hoping to escape before she remembered why she had come over.
“Alec,” she called after him. Damn it.
He spun and sighed, “What?”
She had that earnest look on her face, it was so irritating. “I just wanted to make sure…that you were alright.” Alec heard what she wasn’t saying. Just wanted to make sure you weren’t still suicidal. That I can still rely on you. That I don’t have to feel sorry for you.
“I’m always alright.” He answered. Her eyes narrowed, like she didn’t really believe him. “Really, Max. If there’s one thing you learn in three stints with the mind shrinkers it’s how to be alright.” Otherwise you disappear into an operating room and only come out in pieces.
Max’s eyes widened and she looked like she wanted to sit him down and have some kind of heart to heart, bonding moment. Well, screw that.
“Now I’m going to go get drunk and get laid, or vice versa. I’ll see you around, Max.” This time when he turned to walk away she let him.
Ten minutes later he was nursing his second glass of homemade moonshine and eyeing up another X5. Max could just go fuck herself and that high horse she rode in on. The X5 stood up and winked at him before disappearing through a door. Alec got up to follow.
The X5 was in heat, hot and willing under his hands and between kisses there was a stray wish that Max was watching. The proof was in the sex, and the booze, and the way he got up every morning and stood at her side to fight.
He was always alright.