I'd Expect Her To Do The Same For Me, After All
(Jester)
Dearest Nam,
I cannot say that since our last parting, my heart has not grown heavier with every minute's pass Wait, who was I writing to again? Oh right...
Okay, so as I understand it, Kentucky is having a bad time of it, what with ice storms causing power outages. I've been informed (secondhand) that Murray has been hit pretty hard, though I've no confirmation of whether that is actually the case. I'm about eighty-five percent sure that you are probably stuck, with no power and no intertubes, in Kentucky.
Nam, I know you won't get this message until, well, it's too late and you've got your Net back, but I just want you to know that, if you are indeed trapped in Murray, KY with no power and no internet, well, I'm laughing so hard at you right now.
Now, if you've just not been around in the past couple days, and all this turns out to be a fluke, I won't feel badly. But I just have to take this opportunity to revel in you misfortune. Call me a bastard or whatever else you wish, because I embrace it. I am a horrible, horrible person.
That said, I know that once you got this message, you would probably go and die from exposure to the cold, just to spite me. Let me assure you that would be in bad taste, and I wouldn't feel bad about it so much as miffed that you went and kicked it in such a cliched way.
However, if you somehow find yourself in Silent Hill (I really hope this is the case. With all my heart.) due to all of this, well, see above, Re: Laughing So Hard. Good luck against Pyramid Head.
All of this is not to say that I don't feel for everyone else who's having a hard time in Kentucky and everywhere else that has lost power. I do. I hope for only the best for all of you People That I Do Not Know. Except you, Nam.
Lovingly Yours (But Not Like That Ew),
Jester
P.S.: The weather was wonderful today, up here in Nebraska. I threw an impromptu garage sale. Not much business, though a man did purchase your giant sentient tank that I can't remember the name of. Made thirty bucks. Bought pizza.
P.P.S.: I know we've had arguments about you make more than one post-script on a letter, and this one is here just to assert that you use multiple P's, not S's.
P.P.P.S.: The pervert part of my brain is trying to make a joke about the two-letter abbreviation for your state is also the name of a sex lube. Thankfully, it has failed.
P.P.P.P.S.: =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D
P.P.P.P.P.S.: This joke is over.