The Watch Unwinds Until It Stops, for Nikki

[aiseiri_47]

Title: The Watch Unwinds Until It Stops
For: fg_weasley/love_rockerkid
Characters/Pairings: Regulus/OC, Sirius/OC
Rating: PG13
Warnings (if any): Sexual Situations, Mild Language
A/N: Well, Nikki dear, this very long story is for you. I hope you like it. I think I’ve hit most of your prompts (let’s hope so). The title and particular themes for the final scene are taken from Feist’s duet with Jane Birkin, The Simple Story.



Regulus stood still, pulling his cloak tightly around him and staring up at the stars. He’d spent many a cold night atop the North Tower. He’d forgotten how peaceful it was, though. It was December of his sixth year and only the first time he’d been up here at night like this in over a year and a half. It had been their thing, after all, he and Sirius. For his first four years, it was a ritual for them to meet as brothers, sneaking up to the top of this tower to talk, or not talk, and gaze at the stars. Then Sirius left home, and … well, that was what had happened. There wasn’t a reason to be brothers once he’d left.

He didn’t remember it being this cold all the other times he’d been up here. (Naturally it had never been cold when he’d been in good company.) But he welcomed the frigid air. It froze his face and hands, numbing them, and it was almost enough to numb the feelings inside him. It was what he needed. Regulus was not used to the tumultuous emotions that had been plaguing him of late. It was irritating. He couldn’t wait for the holidays. He wouldn’t have to see any of the people he wished he could just ignore. Like Sirius. Like Rachel.

Sirius at least made it easy to ignore him, but Rachel was impossibly and utterly unignorable.
After about an hour, Regulus’s eyes began to droop, and he decided he could finally retreat back to his dorm and sleep. He needed to be ready and rested for the Quidditch match in the morning.

He wasn’t a completely prejudiced git. That’s what made this all extremely more difficult than it ought to be. If he was a completely prejudiced git, Regulus would just sit at the edge of the classroom’s handful of desks, ignore the other five students in his NEWT level Arithmancy class, and that would be the end of it. If Regulus was a Christian, he knew he would’ve prayed to the Christian god to make him a completely prejudiced git.

Really he blamed it on his stupid brother.

If only Sirius had been a completely prejudiced git like their mother always wanted. If Sirius had set a proper example, his life would be as easy as casting a simple Lumos.

And, actually, if Sirius hadn’t been so utterly Sirius-like, then Regulus wouldn’t feel inclined to get along with people. But no. Sirius had to be the sort of older brother that enjoyed having a laugh and having friends, and he’d groomed his younger brother to be much the same, even if Sirius was very outgoing and

Regulus was much more reserved.

He had always enjoyed Arithmancy class. It was challenging, and he got on well enough with everyone. About half the class had dropped the subject after completing the OWL levels, and so the six of them that were left had become fairly fast mates, despite the different houses they were in. There were four Ravenclaws, a Hufflepuff, and only himself from Slytherin. (Maybe the absence of Gryffindors was what made it easy enough for him to get on with the others. They always made things difficult with their extreme loathing of his house. He had a hunch that the Slytherins wouldn’t mind the Gryffindors so much if the lions weren’t so insufferable about the rivalry.)

And so, since he was cursed with this desire to have friends, he had idiotically involved himself with this tight-knit group that twice a week. That wouldn’t have been any sort of problem if they had all been purebloods.

Again, if he was a completely prejudiced git or a loner, life would be so much easier.

Since he wasn’t a completely prejudiced git, he didn’t mind being friends with all the others. It was merely problematic to have friends who were half-blood or Muggle-born these days, especially when you were not only in Slytherin house, but from a notable pure-blood family.

It wasn’t enough to be friends with them, though.

His life had to be further complicated by her. It was almost too predictable, in his opinion. Of course the one girl to seriously catch his eye would not be from a highly respectable wizarding family. Everything in his life had to be complicated.

Rachel Belvey was completely entrancing to him. She was witty, well-spoken, and intelligent. She was kind, but she was also direct and honest. She was pretty, but not in a way that turned the head of every male in the school, and Regulus liked that. Most of all, Rachel had this passion and energy that was so engaging. It was irresistible, and he found that he looked forward to merely listening to her talk in their classes together. As he began to truly become interested in her, he also noticed that she had a gift for listening. She didn’t feel a need to be at the heart of every conversation as some of his peers did, and as someone who was more quiet, Regulus certainly appreciated that quality in her.

He wasn’t unrealistic, though. He knew she probably had flaws, and he hated the fact that he couldn’t spot them since he was so enthralled by her. None of this was logical, and it was rather frustrating for Regulus, not in the least because of the fact that Rachel was from an outcast family who associated with half-bloods and-

“Everyone, may I have your attention for just a few minutes before the end of class?”

Professor Lightman’s voice broke through Regulus’s thoughts as well as the chatter around him, drawing everyone’s attention to the front of the room.

“I realize this is the last time we will meet before the Christmas holidays, and it seems almost useless to talk about it now, but I want to you to start thinking about the group projects we will start when you return. I will divide you into two teams of three, and you’ll work together to research an Arithmancy theory that has been presented sometime in the last hundred years. I may be idealistic in hoping that you remember our lessons back in September when I gave a brief overview of some of the modern Arithmancists and a few of their theories, but if you could perhaps review those notes that I know you took,” he paused as the class chuckled, and he winked at them, “or at least pick up your book once or twice, and do just a little research.”

There were mumbles and groans around the small classroom, and Professor Lightman frowned at them, rapping on his desk. “Come, come now. If I don’t give you any work over break, the other teachers will all laugh at me. Have a proposal ready for consideration in groups on our first class after holiday.”

“How long does it have to be?” Casey MacMillan asked.

“As long as it needs to be. You know what needs to be drafted into a proposal since we did them last year. Cover what you need to, and don’t write any more than that. Any more questions?” He paused to look at all of them. “Right then, Happy Christmas! You may leave early.”

The class collected their things and began filing out. As always, they made their way down to the Great Hall for dinner as a group, and Regulus fell back, content to listen to the others. Matt Harvey dropped back, too, which was atypical for the bright and confident Ravenclaw who was always a leader. Regulus, and most of the rest of their year, figured he would be the Head Boy next year. “That was a great match against Gryffindor last Saturday. You flattened them.”

Regulus chuckled. “Well, you know, that only puts us further ahead in the running for the Cup.”

Matt rolled his eyes. “I know, but those lions need all the humbling they can get. Besides, I’m sure we’ll take you by surprise and steal the Cup away at the end of the year.”

“You think so, eh?”

“Oh, definitely.” Matt was a Chaser for the Ravenclaw team, currently second in the Quidditch standings. “And if worse comes to worse, I’ll just have Rachel and John in the stands ready to hex you if we fall too far behind. Right, Rach?”

Rachel turned back and fell into step with them as well. “What’s this? Our fine Prefect supporting sabotage and cheating?”

“It’s all for the sake of Quidditch!”

“I think it would do you good to get flattened by the Slytherins in the final. You’re just about as puffed up as any of those Gryffindors when it comes to Quidditch, Matt.”

Regulus laughed at the wounded look Matt put on his face. “What kind of best friend are you?”

Rachel shoved Matt playfully. “I’m just looking out for you. What will you do if your head becomes too big to fit through the doorway? Really.”

They all three laughed. “I guess,” Matt conceded.

“That really was a great match on Saturday, Regulus,” Rachel added.

Regulus’s chest may have swelled a bit when she said that. Regulus continued his conversation with the two Ravenclaws until they all reached the Great Hall, and then he said goodbye and went to his own table. He scanned the benches and made his way toward an opening by Reeve Greengrass.

She gave him an appraising look when he sat down next to her.

“What?” he asked.

“You were talking to Rachel Belvey?”

“And Matt Harvey.”

“And Rachel Belvey. Again.”

Regulus chose not to respond, serving himself a bowl of beef stew, and reaching for a few slices of the steaming hot bread before him.

Reeve sighed. “Look, Reg, I know she’s in your Arithmancy class, but I’m just saying this as your friend. Don’t get any more involved with her. You know what kind of family she’s from. Save yourself the trouble. We’ve been friends since we were kids, and I know your family as well as you do. They will never approve of you and a Belvey.”

“Fine. Once you stop making eyes at my brother, I’ll stop talking to her.”

Reeve’s jaw dropped, and then she snapped it closed again.

“I’m just saying…” Regulus trailed off and took a bite of his stew.

“It’s completely different.”

“No.”

Regulus couldn’t sleep again, so he stood atop the North Tower as he had the Friday evening before. In the morning everyone who was going home for the holidays would leave to catch the train back to London. Regulus was packed, but not necessarily ready to go. He was glad to get away from school for a few weeks, especially keen to escape from having to see his brother and going to Arithmancy class with Rachel, but it meant he had to see his mum.

There were footfalls on the staircase leading up to the platform of the tower, and Regulus spun around, looking for a place in the shadows to duck into in case it was Pringle or a teacher, but then he heard a curious thing…

Three quick steps up, then two slow, a pause, three slow, and two fast. Then a rap on the stone wall, which echoed up as well.

Regulus brow furrowed. That was their signal, but why in Merlin’s name would Sirius be coming up here? How would he even know he was here?

Sirius appeared a moment later, a bright grin on his face, and a package in his hand. “Hello, brother!”

Regulus blinked.

“Oh, fine, you want a little more show.” Sirius pulled out his wand, did a ridiculous sort of hop, landing and shouting, “Hello, good brother Regulus,” shooting sparks out of the end of his wand, posing in what Sirius probably thought was a fine fashion.

“…Er, hello, Sirius.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “That’s all I get?”

“What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to give this to you for our dear old mum,” Sirius answered, holding out the package. “I figured you could do your brother a favor.”

“No. I’m not stupid enough to deliver anything from you to Mum,” Regulus said, shaking his head. “Besides, I was pretty sure we… weren’t brothers any more.”

Sirius sighed. “Right. Look, about that…”

Regulus waited for him to continue.

Sirius looked at him, then away up at the stars. “You know I couldn’t stay. Not with her around.”

Regulus shrugged. “Your choice.”

“I doesn’t mean we’re not brothers.”

“Sure it does.”

“No, it bloody doesn’t, okay!”

“Look, I’m not being a girl about this,” Regulus said, “but when you cut someone off and act like they don’t exist, you’re not brothers.”

“Fine. I’m sorry, I just didn’t know…”

“Whatever. We don’t have to be best mates anymore and hold hands or any of that sort of shit.”

“I am sorry. We had some good times. That’s all I miss from that house.”

“Shove it. You’re approaching girly. Why’re you here, really?”

“James wants me to tell you to stop talking to Rachel Belvey.”

Regulus scoffed. “What the hell? I thought he was finally official with-“

Sirius waved him off with his hand. “Not the point. Rachel is his cousin, and he doesn’t trust you with her.”

Regulus shook his head. “First Reeve, now you, or James or whoever. It’s not like I’m bloody in love with the girl. Can’t a bloke talk to a bird anymore?”

“Sure, you’re not in love with her.”

“I’m not.”

“Okay.”

They were both silent for a moment.

“I wouldn’t get involved with her anyway.”

“Because you’re stupid.”

“Oy, what’s this? Aren’t you supposed to be on James’s side?”

Sirius shrugged. “You are my brother.”

“You’re such a girl.”

“Prejudiced git.”

“If I were, I wouldn’t be having this stupid problem over her.”

“Yeah.”

“You were a terrible influence for me.”

“Yeah.” Sirius laughed. “Glad you at least got something from my shining example.”

“You can tell James I plan to stay away from Rachel.”

Sirius merely shook his head. Then he asked, “So you talked to Reeve?”

Regulus tried not to smile at his brother’s act of nonchalance. The fact that he’d picked up that minute detail in the rush of their conversation spoke volumes. “Yeah.”

“How’s her family?”

Regulus resisted a laugh. Asking about her family was not at all odd. “Kelby had her first boy a few months ago. Reeve is excited to see him over break.”

“That’s nice.”

“Don’t you have potions with Reeve? You could talk to her yourself if you’d get your idealistic head out of your arse. You and Reeve have been friends since you could walk, and now you don’t talk to her because you’re some self-righteous Gryffindor. Not all of us Slytherins are evil, you know.”

Sirius huffed. “I know that.”

“Start acting like it.”

“It’s not that easy.”

“New year, new start. Look, I’m going down to bed. Do whatever you want with your life.”

Regulus left without another word, and Sirius let him go. Regulus didn’t know if he was mad at Sirius or happy that he’d taken a step forward. He would never tell Sirius this, in fact he’d only just realized it as he’d walked away from their quick conversation, but he actually had missed his brother. Regulus only had a very few close friends, and he preferred to keep to himself, but Sirius was someone he’d always felt like he could talk to. With most other people, he kept pretty quiet. When they were growing up, Sirius had been the leader, the speaker for the two of them, so Regulus had just let him do all the talking when they were around others. It felt good to talk to him again.

Not that he thought there would be a repeat any time soon. Sirius had made it clear enough since they got back to Hogwarts after he’d left Grimmauld Place that he was done with his old life completely.

Regulus had managed pretty well without him, so it didn’t really matter.

Most of the time that Regulus was at home, it was a quiet place. He stayed in his room or in the library, occasionally in companionable silence with his father. Their unspoken battle for quiet against Walburga was a common point between them. Orion, however, did keep to himself as much as Regulus did. Christmas was largely turning out to be as lonely as the summer holiday had been after Sirius had left. Reeve seemed to keep this in mind, and invited him to the Greengrass residence or paid visits to Grimmauld Place.

There was Narcissa’s wedding to Lucius Malfoy, and that provided for quite a lot of social engagements. Not that those were particularly interesting, but they were mildly interesting, and he got a few drinks out of them.

There had been a Hogsmeade trip just before school let out, but Regulus hadn’t purchased any Christmas gifts at that time for the specific purpose and benefit of having a legitimate excuse to get out of the house.

And so, two days before Christmas, Regulus was wandering around Diagon Alley in the midst of the holiday hustle and bustle, quite content with his own company. The street was full of the smells of the time of year. Hot butterbeer, nuts roasted with delicious spices, sprigs of holly, pine boughs hanging here and there. The whole street was infused with a jolly air, and he saw a few people he knew from school.

After getting something shiny for his mother (a sure guarantee), the book his father recently mentioned wanting, as well as a couple of other things, Regulus slipped into the Leaky Cauldron with his packages for something to warm him up. He took a seat at the bar and ordered a mug of spiced cider from the barkeep. Just as his mug was being placed in front of him, someone stepped up to the bar next to him a couple of people away, ordering a few butterbeers.

Regulus’s head snapped to the side at the familiar voice. “Rachel?”

She leaned her head forward past the other wizards to see who was calling her name. “Regulus?” She smiled and came over to join him. “Happy Christmas! What are you doing here?”

“A bit of shopping. You?”

“Oh, the same. I love shopping just before Christmas, even though it’s so busy. Everyone’s so cheerful, focused on the holidays. It makes it easier to forget the difficulties of the war.”

She bit her lip, seeming to realize the awkwardness of her comment. Regulus took a sip of his cider.

“Do you mind if I join you?”

“Sure. Are you here alone?” Regulus asked.

“No, but I’d like to escape from Matt and Veronica for a bit.” The bartender appeared with the drinks she’d ordered just then.

“Oh, Harvey’s here?”

Rachel nodded. “Matt is my best friend, and I love him like a brother, but he and Veronica can be so… together when they’re together sometimes.”

Regulus laughed.

“I don’t mind it too much, because they’re not horrible, but too much time around them can become a bit suffocating.”

“So how’s your break been?” he asked. “Get any work done on Lightman’s proposal yet?”

“Yes, already finished it.”

Regulus raised an eyebrow at her.

“Don’t be too impressed. I am a Ravenclaw, but I stayed up all night before we came home finishing homework so I wouldn’t have to bring any books home,” she explained.

“Smart.”

“What about you? Anything exciting happening for you over break?”

They fell into a casual conversation, and he found it was as easy to talk to her out of school as it was in school, which wasn’t always the case with everyone he knew from Hogwarts. Some of the run-ins he’d had with others had been nothing short of forced and awkward. This was nice. Which only added to his problems.

They spoke there for about half an hour before without even realizing it before Matt and Veronica came looking for Rachel.

“There you are, Rach!” Matt came up behind them.

“Oh! Sorry, I forgot you were waiting for me.” Regulus thought he detected a faint blush on her cheeks. She pushed her long, dark hair back behind her ear.

“Don’t worry,” Veronica said with a smile.

“Good to see you, Black,” Matt said, clapping Regulus on the back, “even if you did completely distract Rachel.”

“You, too, Harvey.”

“We should probably get going, though,” he said.

Rachel looked at her watch and then gasped. “Oh, right. They’ll be wondering where we are.” She took her cloak as Veronica held it out for her. “Did you get my things?”

“I had my house elf come fetch them and take them to your place.”

“Thanks,” Rachel said. “I should’ve thought to do that myself.”

“You know your mum will have all your elves busy with party preparations, it’s no trouble. Well, see you later, Regulus.”

“Bye,” Veronica said.

“Goodbye,” Regulus replied, and the two made their way to the door, but Rachel hung back for a moment, and he noticed Rachel and Matt exchange a quick look.

“It was good to see you, Regulus,” she said.

Regulus smiled. “You, too.”

“Listen, I don’t know if you have any plans, but if you don’t, we’re having a party tomorrow night, and I’d love for you to come.”

“Oh,” he said. He could tell she was trying not to bite her lip again as she waited for his answer. And he wanted to say yes, he really wanted to. He sighed. “I can’t.”

Her face fell a bit, though he could see she tried not to show it. Was she really sad he couldn’t go? “That’s okay.”

“No,” he said, “I’ve got the traditional Christmas Eve party with all the Black family.” He hated to see the seemingly sad look in her green eyes, but it fell away with his explanation.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll see you back at school,” she said and then turned to follow her friends out.

“Rachel.” She turned back to look at him. “Happy Christmas.”

She smiled widely. “Happy Christmas, Regulus.”

Stupid bloody family Christmas party, Regulus thought.

Stupid bloody school, Sirius thought as he followed James down the corridor of the train. “Remind me, again, why we have to go back to school.”

“My parents, for one.”

“Right, but why do we have to go back to school?”

“That’s where Lily will be.”

Sirius kicked his best friend. “Again, that’s only a reason for you, unless you’re going to share.”

James laughed. “You’d be bloody bored if you weren’t back at Hogwarts. It’s our last term, anyway. It’s our duty to go out in a blaze of glory.”

Sirius nodded and smiled. The classes were a waste, but he couldn’t deny they had a lot of good times on the castle and in its grounds. Sirius caught sight of a head of beautiful, curly blonde hair in the corner of his eye, and he stopped, instantly recognizing who it was. “Look, I’ll catch up with you in a few.”

“Alright then,” James said without asking any questions.

Luckily she was in the compartment by herself, at least for the moment. Sirius poked his head in. “Hey, Reeve, got a quill I could borrow?”

Reeve Greengrass whipped her head up from her book and glared at him. “What the hell, Sirius?”

“It’s just a quill.”

Reeve shook her head. “You’re an arse, you know that? You don’t need a quill, but if you did, you could go ask someone else anyway.”

“Sirius?” someone spoke just behind him. He knew it was his brother without looking. Sirius sighed. “See you later, Reeve, Regulus.” And then he left to catch up with his friends.

Regulus stepped into the compartment with Reeve. “What was that?”

“Hell if I know why Sirius wanted to talk to me.”

“No, I’m just surprised you told him off.”

“Shove it, Reg.”

Regulus just shrugged and took his seat across from her.

Reeve gave an exasperated sigh. “If he thinks he can just say something stupid to me after not talking to me for so long, then he’s more of an idiot than I ever thought.”

“Oh, so it’s just that he asked for a quill, not because you’re bitter.”

“I’m not bitter!”

“Of course you’re not. What would you want to do with a blood traitor anyway?”

Regulus, Matt and Rachel quickly ducked their heads very studiously and tried to stifle their laughter as the bony librarian told them off for making such a ruckus in this quiet place. Once Pince had turned around the corner, Rachel stood up. “I’ll go get that other volume by Spindler now.”

They all chuckled once more, and Rachel left them to continue their research. Regulus, Matt, and Rachel had all decided to work together on Lightman’s Arithmancy project, and things were going well. It was a lot of work, but they still had a month to complete it, and it was interesting. The company and the subject matter. He’d always liked Matt Harvey, and of course Rachel was… Well, it was just really nice working with them. Better than he’d really expected. They’d started spending more and more of their free time together, and Regulus couldn’t say that he minded at all. Sometimes Veronica was with them as well, and the fifth year Ravenclaw turned out to be a very nice girl, too. It pricked at his conscience a little, though, because Veronica was Muggleborn, and there was no getting around it.

Regulus didn’t feel the way most of his family did. He didn’t think that all Muggleborns were the scum of the earth, that they were undeserving of their magic, and that they shouldn’t be allowed to live, let alone live in their society. But Regulus did feel bad that that’s the way things were. There was no denying the danger of their world for anyone who wasn’t pureblood and aligned with, or at least not against, the Dark Lord. So, yes, Regulus thought Veronica was a sweet girl, but he thought Matt was an idiot for getting involved with her. Regulus was stupid enough for associating with Matt and Rachel, but at least it wasn’t as bad as Matt and Veronica’s situation.

“Did you know Rachel’s birthday is next week?” Matt asked.

Regulus looked up from his book. “No.”

“Next Tuesday.”

“Okay.”

“Look, Regulus, I don’t trust you with her. It’s nothing really personal, because she’s like a sister to me, and so I don’t trust any guy with her, but you’re…”

Regulus nodded. “A Black.”

“Exactly.”

Regulus didn’t say anything else.

After a moment, Matt spoke again. “I’m just saying, be careful with her.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about. She likes you just as much as you like her, and I won’t stand in your way, but I’m just warning you ahead of time.”

Regulus nodded.

“So, just so I’m clear about this, we’re speaking now?”

“Of course we are.”

“You are so stupid.”

“But you love me anyway, Reeve.”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” she said, studying Sirius across the table as they work on their assignment for Potions. Them pairing up in class was a new thing. “But I may have missed your stupid face a little.”

Regulus didn’t go to the tower as often anymore - he didn’t feel a need to. He’d been busy with other people - Matt and Rachel, who really are his friends. (Which was different for him, and nice.) But whenever he did, it seemed Sirius found his way up there, too. It was odd, falling back into being brothers, because they did, but they didn’t. It was like an enchantment that only held when they’re on top of the tower, cut off from the rest of the world, looking out into the dark oblivion dotted with stars.

In the daytime, around everyone else in the real world, they were no more than acquaintances, and at best they exchanged a nod of the head.

It was starting to be spring, and things for both of the Black brothers had changed and blossomed, even though that’s a girly cliché that neither of them would actually think of in their right minds, but it’s because of girls that they’ve changed, and so it’s a fitting comparison.

Neither of them was blissfully oblivious to what they were doing, though. They were both seeing that Love made them do stupid things that they wouldn’t normally do.

Sirius was spending a lot of time focused on repairing his friendship with Reeve. He’d always been easily distracted from any romantic pursuits, growing bored, and giving up, but it was different with her. He’d known her for years and years. He knew most everything about her, but she still surprised him. He liked that. She was very sweet, but still a little fiery, and he’d always liked that about her. He didn’t like that she was in Slytherin, or that her family were rumored supporters of Voldemort, but he just told himself that he couldn’t pick his family any more than she could pick hers.

Regulus, who had always held himself back from making any new real friends (because look what Sirius did - he left), found that he was now not just looking forward to his time with Rachel, but with Matt and Veronica, too. He didn’t know just how to feel about it. He couldn’t help but think that it was a good thing that none of his older cousins were still at Hogwarts. If word ever got back to his mother, he’d be in for it. But he liked who they all are, his friends. He thought he really might become something more with Rachel, but he was still hesitant.

The first week of April, Sirius received a letter sealed with the Black Family crest. He was so stunned and horrified there at the breakfast table that he quickly shoved the letter in his pocket without so much as opening it. He wasn’t sure he would, either.

James and Remus pestered and proded him about it for two days. Peter was a good friend in that he didn’t hassle him about it, and Sirius appreciated that. Sirius used to give Pete a hard time, but he’d come to appreciate the way Peter didn’t care about the future. Well, he ded, but not the same way as Remus and James. James was constantly alternating between making mushy and daringly unrealistic plans, and Remus worried over it so much that Sirius saw he’d begun to go grey. Pete was just content with how things were now, and that was how Sirius wanted to feel, too.

But the knowledge of the mere existence of the letter from home seemed to burn in the pocket of his robes, and it pricked incessantly at his curiosity. So he watched the map to see when Regulus would visit their tower again.

The first week of April, there was a notice put up on all the common room boards letting them know that the next trip to Hogsmeade would be at the end of the week, before they went home for Easter. Regulus thought exactly two things when he saw it. The first was that it’s rather ridiculous that they have the trip just before a break from school, when it would really be better to have it earlier. Because weren’t they a chance for the older students to get a break and relax? Who needed to relax before a week-long break?

The second was that, even though he’d been going with Matt, Veronica and Rachel to Hogsmeade since the new year, this time he wanted to actually go with Rachel. Officially. Just with Rachel. It was a mildly scary idea, but his stupid heart pounded a little faster at the prospect.

After class, he walked with Rachel and Matt and the rest of their classmates down the corridor toward the staircase. He always fell into step with Matt and Rachel now. Matt was having a heated discussion with William Jones about the Harpies, and at the top of the stairs, Regulus pulled Rachel aside, and the rest went off without them.

“Can I ask you something?” he said, looking straight into her green eyes.

She tucked her hair behind her ear. “Sure. What is it?”

“Do you want to go to Hogsmeade with me?”

Her face split into a huge, radiant smile, and her hand moved nervously to her mouth, as if she wanted to cover up the grin that had so plainly given her away. “Yes,” was her simple answer in words though.

He grinned right back at her and took her hand for the first time, but otherwise they continued down to the Great Hall as always, because really this was only a progression, not a change for them.

Regulus was waiting for Sirius on top of the tower, and Sirius doesn’t disappoint.

“You can tell James I’m going to Hogsmeade with his cousin.” He figured it would be best to just get it out there in the open.

“No surprise there. Took you long enough, but I guessed you were when you came to dinner holding her hand tonight.”

Regulus only nodded.

“Never mind that,” Sirius said. He tossed the letter to his younger brother.

Regulus caught it with his practiced skills as a Seeker. He frowned, seeing his brother’s name as the addressee, the Black family seal on the back. “From Mum. To you?”

“You’re as bewildered as I am. Read it.”

Regulus scoffed. “You seriously haven’t opened it?” Sirius just cocked his head to the side impatiently. “Some Gryffindor you are,” he muttered, but opened the letter anyway. He read it, and his eyes widened as he read. Finally he gave up finishing it, and just folded it back up. He’d reached the point with all the important parts, and he knew the rest would be various ramblings from his mum.

“So?”

His brother had never been particularly patient, but Regulus was used to that. “She wants you to come home for Easter.”

Sirius’s jaw dropped, though he didn’t seem to notice.

“Apparently she’s heard about your interest in Reeve, and she says you’ve made an admirable choice, and that she’d love to have you home for the holiday break.”

Sirius could’t say anything.

“There just are no words.”

Sirius laughs. “Unbelievable.”

“Especially after the Christmas present you sent to torture her.”

Sirius would’t go home for Easter, of course, but the letter got both of them thinking.

Sirius cooled things off with Reeve.

Regulus knew their mother had heard it from Reeve’s mom, who heard it from her sister Kelby, whose newly acquired sister-in-law is a Hufflepuff in her third year and apparently saw and spread the news. He had no reason to think that little Chelsea would say anything or would have even noticed his association with his new Ravenclaw friends, but Regulus was now wary about people seeing him with Rachel since their relationship had moved forward. At least when he’s not with her. When he was with her, he sort of forgot about all that.

The morning of the Hogsmeade trip, Regulus had the nagging thought that maybe it wasn’t the best thing for him to be seen around town with Rachel Belvey. But, for better or for worse, he ignored that thought.

He shouldn’t have be surprised, and it was more that he was pleased, but he and Rachel ended up having a far better time together in Hogsmeade than he expected. There was never anything new about the town anymore. The shops were the same, there weren’t any new places to get a drink or a bite to eat. The streets didn’t change. There were always a few new sweets to be had at Honeydukes or new products at Zonko’s, but even those shops remained relatively the same each time he visited. And yet it was all so much better to be there with Rachel’s hand in his. It felt like the first visit. They made all the routine stops, they walked around the small wizarding town. They didn’t go into Madam Puddifoot’s. When Regulus had suggested it offhandedly, Rachel had begun to giggle, and that was the end of that idea, which was no great loss at all.

As the afternoon drew to a close, they headed out of town and back towards the castle. It was a little chilly as the sun was no longer shining brightly above them, and Regulus had his arm around Rachel’s shoulders, and she had her arm around his waist, and it just felt right. He still hated how everything with her seemed to be so perfect, because he knew nothing in life could really be this good. He’d seen and heard of too much ugliness for fate to fool him for one minute with this illusion of perfection. He waited on the edge with baited breath, knowing it was only a matter of time before he gets pushed over the side, and reality will come crashing down around him again.

But until then, he was going to take advantage of this.

They walked slowly along the path, neither of them in a hurry for the afternoon to end, and Regulus loved that. They were at a point where there wasn’t any pull for conversation to be flitting back and forth between them, and Regulus loved that, too. He could think of only three other people he’d ever felt so comfortable with. He held onto Rachel’s shoulder just a little tighter.

After a few minutes, Rachel broke the silence. “Do you think Arithmancy will be extremely different next year?”

Professor Lightman had just announced his forthcoming leave of absence to go study in Morocco for the next year.

“I guess it won’t be the same, but I don’t know how different it will be,” he answered simply. “Why do you ask?”

Rachel sighed. “Just thinking about next year.”

Regulus didn’t press her further.

After a minute, she spoke again. “I don’t really admit this to anyone, but the future scares me. I don’t like thinking about how things are bound to change and the new difficulties we’ll face. I love the way my life is right now. Things could always be better, sure, but they could certainly be a lot worse, and I am in a pretty great place as it is. I just... I’m happy, and I don’t want that to change.”

Regulus stopped walking, and Rachel stopped a step ahead of him. She looked at him questioningly, and he took her hand and drew her close. Very slowly, he let his other hand brush over her cheek and trace the length of her jaw. She closed her eyes as he did this, and let her chin raise up towards him. He tentatively bent his head down, and pressed his lips to hers, cupping her cheek. He kissed her just for a moment, and then he pulled back to look at her again. Her eyes opened, and she smiled at him. Rachel let both of her hands come up to rest on either side of his face, and then kissed him in return.

The next day was a Sunday, and it was perfect. Regulus spent most of the day with Rachel and their other friends. They played a few games, spent a little time actually studying, but the best moments were the quiet times stolen away from the others when it was only him and Rachel. They’d kissed, talked, and held each other close in those quiet moments.

When he finally bid Rachel goodnight and went to bed, there was a letter waiting for him. He frowned and sat down on the edge of his bed. His roommates were either already asleep or off in the common room. Regulus broke the wax seal with an intricate, decorated ‘M’ monogram, and opened the letter.

Dear Regulus,

I’ve heard some news that alarms me. I’m told that you were with Neil Belvey’s daughter during the whole of your excursion to Hogsmeade yesterday.

I’m writing to urge you to end things with her. It’s better for everyone if you stop things now. I’m just concerned that it’s not going to be good for either of you.

-Narcissa

Regulus read it twice, and then he held the corner of his cousin’s letter over the lit candle on his bedside table, letting the parchment catch fire, and then he let it burn, dropping it into the fireplace. He didn’t watch as it was consumed by flames and then melted away into dark ashes.

Feeling an emptiness seep into him, he went to sleep, trying to ignore Narcissa’s warning.

The next morning was only worse for Regulus. He was eating breakfast with Reeve, listening to her complain about how Sirius had so abruptly gone back to ignoring her lately, when an owl swooped down on the table in front of him, nearly turning over his pumpkin juice. The bird was very impatient and had hardly let Regulus retrieve the letter before he was off and away.

There was no seal on this note. It had been quickly rolled up and tied to the owl’s leg for delivery. This letter was from Narcissa’s sister this time. Bellatrix explained in no uncertain terms that his association with a Belvey was a disgrace to their family, and that no action need be taken on her part if Regulus would just end things. Otherwise he could look forward to a little help from her or Rodolphus.

Regulus crumpled up the note in his hand, his blood boiling.

Regulus thought about his recent letters all day. Narcissa had merely warned him to be more prudent. Bellatrix hadn’t come right out and said it, but there was no mistaking her intentions - she would put an end to Rachel Belvey if Regulus didn’t put an end to his relationship with her.

Thinking of Narcissa and Bellatrix naturally led him to thinking about their elder sister, Andromeda. Andromeda had gone against their entire family to marry some Muggle. Regulus didn’t even know his name. All he knew was that Andromeda had gone into hiding. The wrath that had come when Sirius had been sorted into Gryffindor, when he’d left home - those were mere trifling matters in comparison to the deep shame and betrayal Andromeda had brought to the family by marrying “that foul mudblood.”

Regulus had been much younger when that had happened. He remembered thinking Andromeda was a fool to make the choice she had. Now he imagined he could understand what could possibly compel her to act against the Black Family.

What would his choice be?

He did know that he wouldn’t tell Rachel about this, whatever he decided. She didn’t need to know the dark depths of his family’s soul - if their family really did have a soul.

“I can’t believe you!”

Sirius didn’t bother explaining to Regulus. He should have been expecting it, after all. It had only been a matter of time before James heard that Regulus had broken things off with his cousin. Apparently, though, Regulus wasn’t afraid to face his brother’s wrath on behalf of his best friend. “I’m not like you, Sirius. You’re ruled by ideals, you always have been. I’m ruled by logic. I can’t change.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“It doesn’t matter. They’re the same for me.” Sirius scoffed at his answer, but Regulus merely raised his eyebrows and challenged his brother. “You can’t go against yourself either. If you could, you wouldn’t be ignoring Reeve. I know you have been, and only ever since you found out mum approved.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“Prove it.”

“Fine, but not because of you or anyone else, but only because I want to be with her.”

Regulus shrugged.

Sirius glared. “You’re a tosser, you know that?”

Regulus shrugged again. Sirius shook his head and stormed off without another word. He slammed the door behind him, and rushed down the staircase as quickly as he could, trying not to replay the conversation with Regulus in his mind. He pulled the Marauder’s Map out of his pocket, looking for the one dot he needed right now. It was late, to be sure, nearly time for curfew, and he hoped she wasn’t already in her dormitory.

He paused at the bottom of the stairwell, just on the inside of the door, and tapped the map twice with his wand, whispering Reeve’s name as he did so. One solitary dot glowed and pulsated in what he knew was the dark recesses of the library.

“Perfect.”

Sirius stashed the map back in the pocket of his robes and made his way to the secret passage behind the portrait of Jane Birkin the Bemused. It was a small spiral staircase that led from the topmost floor of the main castle (the towers excluded, obviously), down to the ground floor, with openings onto each floor. Sirius galloped quickly down three flights of stairs, and then stopped on the fourth floor landing to check the map again. The exit to the fourth floor was actually a part of a revolving shelf of books in the restricted section of the library, which worked quite nicely in this case, though it was typically a hassle on other days to go through the library. The map showed that Reeve was still in the back of the library, and, to his luck, Madam Pince was busy with students wanting to check out books at the end of the evening at her desk in the front.

Sirius took a deep breath and shook his hair back out of his face. He pointed his wand at the trapdoor and murmured a silencing charm on it. His hand found the notch on the wall, and then he pressed it and pushed forward on the wall. It swung forward, and he entered and then pushed it back into place.

He moved silently between rows and rows of books, avoiding everyone else in the library as he made his way toward Reeve. The lights flashed three times and then dimmed, signaling to the patrons that there were only ten minutes left before the library closed. Sirius paid them no mind, because he heard a familiar voice mutter, “Blast,” just two rows over. Sirius walked slowly and even more silently, coming up behind Reeve without her noticing. She was looking for a book among the dusty old volumes, her fingers skimming over the leather spines. She finally reached up for a book on the top shelf, but couldn’t quite snatch it.

“This one?” Sirius whispered in her ear, startling her as he reached for the book she’d been trying for.

He was so close behind her that they bumped as she whipped around to face him. “Sirius!” she whispered in surprise. “What are -”

Sirius bent his head and cut her off with a kiss.

She froze, but didn’t pull away. Sirius let the book in his hand fall to the floor with a dull thud, and then he pulled Reeve closer to him, one hand circling around to press against the small of her back, while the other wound into her hair. She sighed then and finally relaxed into the kiss, letting her mouth part gently. Sirius let his tongue dart fleetingly into her mouth, teasing her into a deeper passion. She responded in kind, her hand coming up between them to tug on the front of his shirt. She nipped on his bottom lip, and it drove him crazy. He smiled into their kiss, and then plunged his tongue fully into her mouth, drawing a groan from her. Sirius pushed her up against the wall, and their kiss only grew more passionate and heated, lips straying to necks, collarbones, ears, and beginning to stray even further, and back to their lips again. Sirius’s tie was on the ground, and their shirts were both quickly becoming unbuttoned when Reeve turned her head and pushed Sirius gently away from her, but only a little.

“Reeve?” he asked tentatively in a whisper.

She turned her head back to him, resting her forehead against his. “Not here.”

They were both panting heavily. Sirius gazed into her blue eyes for a second before speaking again. “Do you want to -”

“Yes,” she said, quickly pressing her lips to his again. “Somewhere else, absolutely.”

“Let’s go.”

Typically, Sirius never woke up early if he could help it. But he’d already broken his rule to stay away from any pureblooded Slytherin girl, so he wasn’t annoyed by his desire to lie awake in the early morning hours and watch her as she slept on the bed, cradled next to him. He watched the rhythmic rise and fall of her breathing, so slow and smooth and comforting. He let his hand trail softly along her back, occasionally letting rest here and there in soft spots, still marveling at the events of the night before.

At the danger of becoming a sodding romantic berk like his best friend James, Sirius was hesitant to wake Reeve or move from their bed. The bed, not their bed. It was just one night, and he didn’t know exactly what she thought of all of this, maybe she…

Oh. She was moving.

Sirius didn’t breathe.

Reeve turned over, rolling into him, at which point she startled awake.

When her eyes locked on his, she grinned and blushed.

He wanted to say something in that second, but he couldn’t. He returned her grin, though.

Reeve looked away, pulled the sheet modestly up over her chest, and moved so she was facing him, only inches away. Then she looked at him again, still smiling. “Good morning, Sirius.”

“Good morning,” he said in relief. Her voice was so warm and happy that he felt secure in this again. He leaned forward and pressed a soft, quick kiss to her lips. He let his hand caress her cheek, and she put her hand over his. “Sleep well?”

“Of course.”

Hell, hell, hell. This was some kind of beautiful, agonizing, wonderful hell. He’d done a million things, faced all sorts of formidable foes, and none of it had really scared him - not the way lying here with the beautiful Reeve Greengrass did, naked physically and emotionally, with his heart out in the open to boot.

“Can I ask you something?”

Bloody hell, that didn’t quite sound like it would be any sort of good, and his heart began to race. “Sure, Reeve.”

She pressed a kiss to the palm of his hand, seeming to contemplate just how to phrase what she was going to say before speaking. Then she brought his hand down between them, holding it with both of her own. “What changed, Sirius?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean. I’ve known you for ages and ages, and I knew you’d never be with me because of who you are, and who I happen to be, and then these last weeks you opened up to me, but I still didn’t dare hope, and then last night you just … kiss me. And now here we are.”

Sirius closed his eyes and took a deep breath before answering her. When he opened his eyes again, he looked at their hands, intertwined. He’d been thinking about just this while she’d been sleeping, and he hoped that he could say what he thought, what he felt.

“I talked to Regulus. He’s a complete arse about this girl, has been for months, all because she’s half-blood. It makes me angry, and the stupid bugger is more observant and intelligent than anyone deserves to be, and when I told him how stupid he was being over her, he threw it back at me, and I had to come to terms with how stupid I was being as well. You said you knew I’d never be with you because of who we are, and that’s the same reason he won’t be with her. He told me I was too idealistic. But I wasn’t being idealistic. I was being idiotic if I was holding myself back just because of what house you’re in, what family you belong to. Your family isn’t half as bad as the relatives I no longer claim, not by a long shot. And I just… I care for you. I always have. I’m no better than a Death Eater if I judge you because of your pureblooded status.”

“Those are a lot of words, Black.”

“Well, I mean them.”

“Really?”

He looked her in the eye again. “Yeah, I do.”

“Good. Because when people find out about us, when my family finds out, I don’t think they’re going to be happy about it at all. So you need to mean it, or else we need to end it all right now.”

“You know I won’t care if your family disowns you.”

She bit her lip.

“Oh, Reeve, I didn’t mean…” He sighed and pulled her close, and she tucked her head under his chin. “Reeve, I just mean that I’m yours, and I don’t care about anyone else.”

Reeve just nodded, but she didn’t say anything else. They kissed for a little while longer, and started to fool around again, but they realized they’d be late for classes. They considered that fact, and then decided that it’s worth detention.

She’d eluded him all day, and he thought it had just been a shame, not something done on purpose. When he’d finally caught her outside the Great Hall before dinner, she seemed cold. He asked her for a minute alone, she’d said yes, but the looks on her friends’ faces sent a cold trickle of foreboding down his spine.

They stepped into a somewhat secluded alcove for a little privacy. Sirius stepped close and put his hand on her cheek, but she abruptly turned her head away, and Sirius stepped back, letting his hand drop.

“Reeve?”

“I don’t know how they already knew, Sirius, but my mother came herself to speak to me today, pulled me out of class. She’s told me in no uncertain terms that our family does not associate with you.”

Sirius folded his arms. Reeve seemed to be refusing to look at him. “So what does that mean?”

“It means I choose you or my family.”

“So what’s the difficulty?”

Reeve scoffed and turned away from him completely. “You don’t get it. You’re full of all these ideals, but the world isn’t what you make it, Sirius, it’s already laid out for us. But I’m not like you. I can’t forsake my family.”

Sirius didn’t respond to that. He didn’t want to bring up his words to her this morning, it would only be humiliating to repeat them now when she’d clearly made her choice.

“I’m already promised to someone else. We’ll be married come Christmas.”

His jaw was set. “Fine.”

She turned slightly back toward him. Her voice was softer now, “Look, Sirius-“

“Don’t,” he interrupted her. “Just don’t.”

He stormed away swiftly. Sirius was sure the world must be shitting with him now. He went from bliss to misery in twelve hours, and he couldn’t even comprehend it. Reeve was just…

But he’d always known she was a Slytherin. He’d known she was driven by ambition and success, and would always pick the smartest way to move forward.

And it turned out he was the bloody fool being left behind.

He wouldn’t make that mistake again.

He hadn’t really slept much at all the night before. Any sleep he had managed had been uneasy. He’d tossed and turned frequently, thinking about all of it. The thinly veiled threat of a letter from Bellatrix, Sirius’s words, the thought of how he’d lost a friend in Matt as well as the girl, Narcissa’s warning, the look on Rachel’s face …

But it didn’t matter. The world was the way it was. There was no changing that. Rachel belonged to a family that sympathized with the wrong side. Regulus was a Black, and he had a responsibility to his family. Maybe if Sirius had been the son their parents had expected, hoped for, the proper heir, then maybe Regulus could have gone off and been foolish.

But even so, he was reminded of something his father had told him a long time ago. It’s better to be logical and realistic than to be an ignorant, dreaming fool, and wake up with the world crashing down around you. The simple story, unfurling slowly before him, was that if he lay down with a dream, he would still wake up lonely. It didn’t matter what he said or did. Dreams ended. It wasn’t in him to recklessly abandon his family. Not for some girl. He was only in his sixth year, for Salazar’s sake! He couldn’t throw away his entire past over what would probably end up as only a fleeting teenage romance. Not for these reasons in the world they lived in right now. It didn’t make sense.

Sirius appeared next to him before too long. Regulus wondered fleetingly why Sirius was here tonight when he knew where and with whom Sirius was with so recently, but he didn’t feel like asking.

“I don’t think girls are worth the bloody trouble,” Sirius lied. He said ‘girls’ but he meant ‘love’ and Regulus knew it, too.

“No, they’re not.” He agreed with the lie, because he wanted to believe it. It made everything easier.

They stood silently, gazing at the stars together for the last time.