So .. blah
Blah blah blah.
That's kinda all I am feeling right now, there is nothing I want to watch on TV, I am not playing WOW any more, and every time I sit down to try to write I get a few lines of Blah blah blah then I loose interest.
I guess I don't have the big reserve any more, I am more likely to say what I think, and such, but sometimes I do miss it. Ya ya I know its very emo of me, but fuckit. I miss writing, Its almost like I miss being alone. I had gotten used to being miserable all the time, I don't really know how to cope when I laugh more then scowl. So guess what, I got rid of my most convenient excuse ... I accidentally got more comfortable in my own skin. There are of course a few negative side effects of this. I am more likely to say no, or give you an opinion that is less rationalized/homogenized. In short I am turning into a bit of a prick. This is a problem I ran into before when I got back from the Marines, I turned into a fuckhead. I am watching it this time to keep myself in check to some degree, but it does slip out every once and a while.
I am working now, on maintaining an acceptable level of duchebaggery, but I am not obsessing over every action and reaction like I did before. I let somethings go and just give an honest reaction ... I don't shy away from every bit of human contact. Sometimes I even initiate it. Of course I sometimes let things go a little bit farther but thats also because I am kinda learning the comfort zones of people ... you know the things that most people figure out in highschool, I am working on them now ... but at least I am making progress :)
That's kinda all I am feeling right now, there is nothing I want to watch on TV, I am not playing WOW any more, and every time I sit down to try to write I get a few lines of Blah blah blah then I loose interest.
I guess I don't have the big reserve any more, I am more likely to say what I think, and such, but sometimes I do miss it. Ya ya I know its very emo of me, but fuckit. I miss writing, Its almost like I miss being alone. I had gotten used to being miserable all the time, I don't really know how to cope when I laugh more then scowl. So guess what, I got rid of my most convenient excuse ... I accidentally got more comfortable in my own skin. There are of course a few negative side effects of this. I am more likely to say no, or give you an opinion that is less rationalized/homogenized. In short I am turning into a bit of a prick. This is a problem I ran into before when I got back from the Marines, I turned into a fuckhead. I am watching it this time to keep myself in check to some degree, but it does slip out every once and a while.
I am working now, on maintaining an acceptable level of duchebaggery, but I am not obsessing over every action and reaction like I did before. I let somethings go and just give an honest reaction ... I don't shy away from every bit of human contact. Sometimes I even initiate it. Of course I sometimes let things go a little bit farther but thats also because I am kinda learning the comfort zones of people ... you know the things that most people figure out in highschool, I am working on them now ... but at least I am making progress :)