Blah
The past few days have been kind of blurred together. Last thing I really remember is going to work on Friday at 330 and working till midnight, rather it was actually closer to 1245 because of the cafe taking so long to clean up. After work me, Luis, Chris H, Orlando, and Kim went across to the diner to have a meal and more specifically it was where Luis and I would be spending the night, due to the two of us being shitted on and having to open the next morning at 5. I would of gone home usually but Luis lives at least 40 mins away and this was a more logical choice for him. We were later joined by an intoxicated Josh and Kate and let me tell you I envied them. I could so have gone for just getting painsackingly drunk so I could forget everything, but instead I stayed sober and sat for 4 hours at the diner with Luis and drank coffee all night long. We entered the store at 445 and in a sleep deprived state opened the store for the day. I am so not the person to work without sleep because I first found myself delirious as I prepared the deposit and entertained myself by singing bad rap from the early 1990s. I really didnt do much that day besides bounce from register to register, getting people shit and helping people out. Thank god for the fact that is was mostly cashiers who know what they are doing, except for the one white haired holiday help senior citizen who drives me to wanting to keep a flask in my pocket. At a certain point during the day I started breaking down, and even started to cry a bit behind the register as I complained to one of my managers about the shit that had gone down during the day, including me being verbally attacked by the rudest 12 year old ever. If I really didnt care about my life at all I would of jumped over the counter and snapped this kids neck, or at least gotten Jose who was willing and eager to do so for me to do it. When I complained to the so called "store manager" what a fuckhead she is, I basically got blank stares. Got to love when people stare at you as if you are crazy.
I left at 1, way past when i was supposed and managed to drive home without crashing. I then attempted to watch the Giants game and fell asleep till 730 when Jon texted me. Him and I were supposed to go on a "date" to see King Kong, and at that point I thought I be able to be awake for the 11 o'clock showing but when 10 came around and he called back there was no way I was getting out of bed, and going out. Instead I spent the rest of the night until 7 am downloading new music, talking to Jon online and getting a little buzzed. Oddly though in between Jon's text message and him calling me at 10 i had a sex dream about Adam. Now I hadn't thought about him in like 5 weeks now ever since our quick falling out. But it was weird that he suddenly popped into my head again, and I do miss just waking up with him. I'm supposed to hang out in Hoboken on Dec 30th and am contemplating just calling him and seeing what he is up to but I dont want to be the one who does so cause when we had our last date together, I totally lied to him and said that I dont see us going anywhere besides just being friends with benefits. The truth was that I actually was fond of him up until the night where my car got booted and he basically acted as if this was the worst thing that could ever happen to him. I mean ever since him I havent really tried to go on a real date or anything. I mean I've gone on a bunch with Jon but they arent the same. I've done a couple of random hook-ups, had a one night stand, but no dates. There are a few guys at work that I would totally date in two seconds but I am too chicken shit to actually do so. So for now I'll just have to be miserable and enjoy what i have as well.
But back to my day today, christmas day. I would of loved to spent the day actually doing something in a family setting, except everyone was too busy with their own lives and families and besides Eileen, who I was almost going to virginia with, no one invited me to share in the holidays with them. So instead I managed to get my dad to join me in what was my mom and mine's tradition. We went tothe movies and saw Chronicles of Narnia, which I thought was pretty good. I still would have preferred my mother over anything this year but unfortunately the world is fucked up and that is one wish I am never going to get. Although I have to say I finally had someone say something that helped upon finding out my mother had recently died, one of my coworkers who is usually away at college said it plain and simple "It fucking sucks" and that really helped.
There are still a bunch more movies I want to see, including King Kong which I have rescheduled with Jon for tomorrow. I sitll have no idea what I will exactly be doing on New Years Eve. I have lots of choices but I cant decide.
I left at 1, way past when i was supposed and managed to drive home without crashing. I then attempted to watch the Giants game and fell asleep till 730 when Jon texted me. Him and I were supposed to go on a "date" to see King Kong, and at that point I thought I be able to be awake for the 11 o'clock showing but when 10 came around and he called back there was no way I was getting out of bed, and going out. Instead I spent the rest of the night until 7 am downloading new music, talking to Jon online and getting a little buzzed. Oddly though in between Jon's text message and him calling me at 10 i had a sex dream about Adam. Now I hadn't thought about him in like 5 weeks now ever since our quick falling out. But it was weird that he suddenly popped into my head again, and I do miss just waking up with him. I'm supposed to hang out in Hoboken on Dec 30th and am contemplating just calling him and seeing what he is up to but I dont want to be the one who does so cause when we had our last date together, I totally lied to him and said that I dont see us going anywhere besides just being friends with benefits. The truth was that I actually was fond of him up until the night where my car got booted and he basically acted as if this was the worst thing that could ever happen to him. I mean ever since him I havent really tried to go on a real date or anything. I mean I've gone on a bunch with Jon but they arent the same. I've done a couple of random hook-ups, had a one night stand, but no dates. There are a few guys at work that I would totally date in two seconds but I am too chicken shit to actually do so. So for now I'll just have to be miserable and enjoy what i have as well.
But back to my day today, christmas day. I would of loved to spent the day actually doing something in a family setting, except everyone was too busy with their own lives and families and besides Eileen, who I was almost going to virginia with, no one invited me to share in the holidays with them. So instead I managed to get my dad to join me in what was my mom and mine's tradition. We went tothe movies and saw Chronicles of Narnia, which I thought was pretty good. I still would have preferred my mother over anything this year but unfortunately the world is fucked up and that is one wish I am never going to get. Although I have to say I finally had someone say something that helped upon finding out my mother had recently died, one of my coworkers who is usually away at college said it plain and simple "It fucking sucks" and that really helped.
There are still a bunch more movies I want to see, including King Kong which I have rescheduled with Jon for tomorrow. I sitll have no idea what I will exactly be doing on New Years Eve. I have lots of choices but I cant decide.