should i be this bothered?
so earlier, while beginning the process of cleaning my room, i stumbled across the box that is PACKED with every single love letter / not Kayla Austin wrote me in 7th grade. yes, i still have it... that's not what's bothering me...
anyway, i went to show my mom and pulled a few out and read over them, reading them aloud, which was cool, they were adorable, i mean it was 7th grade. i had such a rush of good memories and i said something like "oh, i was so crazy about her" and then my mom made a comment that been bothering me all night and i don't know why.
fisrt she said something like "oh, you really did like her? so you were straight once?" and i was like uhhh i dunno. and then she goes "maybe you'll be straight again some day... i mean, i'll love you regardless..." and then i just kinda sat there. it bothered me so much because i kind of got this impression she was hoping i'd be straight some day, like she was obligated to love me regardless and had to say that as a mother, but that she was disappointed or something.
it's really getting to me and i don't know it should. but i've been really worried lately about how i'm going to tell my dad because i feel i should before i go off to school and i might expect to face some sort of reaction from him that wouldn't be as positive. i was honestly really surprised that my mom would make a comment like that, innocent as it may be, and i mean... i don't know her intentions with that comment and i don't know her true feelings behind it but i know it affected me and i don't know what to do now.
on the brighter side, only 13 days until i leave. 13 days until i get a new home. and lover...? god i hope so.
anyway, i went to show my mom and pulled a few out and read over them, reading them aloud, which was cool, they were adorable, i mean it was 7th grade. i had such a rush of good memories and i said something like "oh, i was so crazy about her" and then my mom made a comment that been bothering me all night and i don't know why.
fisrt she said something like "oh, you really did like her? so you were straight once?" and i was like uhhh i dunno. and then she goes "maybe you'll be straight again some day... i mean, i'll love you regardless..." and then i just kinda sat there. it bothered me so much because i kind of got this impression she was hoping i'd be straight some day, like she was obligated to love me regardless and had to say that as a mother, but that she was disappointed or something.
it's really getting to me and i don't know it should. but i've been really worried lately about how i'm going to tell my dad because i feel i should before i go off to school and i might expect to face some sort of reaction from him that wouldn't be as positive. i was honestly really surprised that my mom would make a comment like that, innocent as it may be, and i mean... i don't know her intentions with that comment and i don't know her true feelings behind it but i know it affected me and i don't know what to do now.
on the brighter side, only 13 days until i leave. 13 days until i get a new home. and lover...? god i hope so.