"I'm not dead yet..."
I have to make appointments with the dentist for a painful tooth, the dermatologist for a scary mole, the optometrist for my annual eye exam, and the gynecologist for normal lady-stuff, but which will probably result in the doc telling me I have to either quit smoking or stop taking birth control. I hate it when people are right about me having to do hard things.
Point is, that's a whole lotta doctorin', and it's making me feel old. I'm only 37, people! I guess on the bright side my scary mole is a precocious overachiever...