Mediocre Movies, Saddle Sore
Is Fantastic Four a good movie? Oh, no. Not at all. It has so many horrible flaws it should be ashamed of itself. Bad writing, poor story telling, sloppy direction and editing, incompetent acting from most parties, and dated special effects. I got used to the Thing suit as the movie went on, though.
Despite all this, somehow I liked it. There's a kernel of fun in it somewhere. Plus, Chris Evans has a superior posterior in that superhero suit. The director at least knew to keep him either shirtless or in the outfit through most of the movie.
Dr. Doom as a character is so completely bungled. The chuckleheads who wrote the script should be ashamed of themselves. And Julian McMahon should, too.
I guess the movie probably benefited from my a) expectations of really disliking the movie and b) going in a little drunk.
After the movie, Alice and I saw a young woman who was running up the escalator totally bite it. It was a nice cap to the evening. She was OK!
The rest of my weekend was spent out in the woods at a cabin in a hot tub or playing a fun dominoes game called Mexican Train. Yes, it does sound dirty.
Yesterday morning I rode Kelly hard. But it feels like she rode me hard; my ass is killing me!
Kelly is the spirited horse I rode through trails out in the woods. She was a bitch. Alice's horse, Billie, was slow and lazy and in front of us, and Kelly wanted to get around her BAD. Whenever we trotted, Kelly would try to leave the trail and pass, and I had a hard time restraining her, especially since I was more concerned with the pain in my nuts and my butt. Boxers are not a good choice for riding, it seems. It was so nice, though, to be on a horse out in nature. Pure Abundance, yall!. I never pretended to be one, but I have always loved horses. Our trail guide even let me and Taha "lope" at the end of the ride. Loping is the pace after trotting and before galloping, if I'm not mistaken. It's fast and slightly terrifying. I loved that all I had to do was make kissy noises and Kelly would take off like a shot. Also nice? The faster you go, the less bouncing on your privates and behind you do.
The weekend ended with me, Matty Yeswad, and Alice watching a gay porn called , The Hole, but fast forwarding past all the sex because the plot, a spoof of The Ring, was funny, charming, and well-done.
Big thanks to no_pants_island for suggesting The Hole, and for introducing me to a whole new world of porn. I owe him, and shall repay him at the earliest possible opportunity.
Despite all this, somehow I liked it. There's a kernel of fun in it somewhere. Plus, Chris Evans has a superior posterior in that superhero suit. The director at least knew to keep him either shirtless or in the outfit through most of the movie.
Dr. Doom as a character is so completely bungled. The chuckleheads who wrote the script should be ashamed of themselves. And Julian McMahon should, too.
I guess the movie probably benefited from my a) expectations of really disliking the movie and b) going in a little drunk.
After the movie, Alice and I saw a young woman who was running up the escalator totally bite it. It was a nice cap to the evening. She was OK!
The rest of my weekend was spent out in the woods at a cabin in a hot tub or playing a fun dominoes game called Mexican Train. Yes, it does sound dirty.
Yesterday morning I rode Kelly hard. But it feels like she rode me hard; my ass is killing me!
Kelly is the spirited horse I rode through trails out in the woods. She was a bitch. Alice's horse, Billie, was slow and lazy and in front of us, and Kelly wanted to get around her BAD. Whenever we trotted, Kelly would try to leave the trail and pass, and I had a hard time restraining her, especially since I was more concerned with the pain in my nuts and my butt. Boxers are not a good choice for riding, it seems. It was so nice, though, to be on a horse out in nature. Pure Abundance, yall!. I never pretended to be one, but I have always loved horses. Our trail guide even let me and Taha "lope" at the end of the ride. Loping is the pace after trotting and before galloping, if I'm not mistaken. It's fast and slightly terrifying. I loved that all I had to do was make kissy noises and Kelly would take off like a shot. Also nice? The faster you go, the less bouncing on your privates and behind you do.
The weekend ended with me, Matty Yeswad, and Alice watching a gay porn called , The Hole, but fast forwarding past all the sex because the plot, a spoof of The Ring, was funny, charming, and well-done.
Big thanks to no_pants_island for suggesting The Hole, and for introducing me to a whole new world of porn. I owe him, and shall repay him at the earliest possible opportunity.