Dear friend...
Thank you for showing me the simplicity and beauty of being true to yourself.
I needed to see that.
I am afraid I had lost my way trying to please those around me, and in the process, I had lost myself.
I had a moment today where I said, 'I feel like a bird sitting on a wire and I'm having trouble balancing'.
I feel uneasy everyday, and I have lost my voice.
I have been exhausted in my self-censorship. My ability to be positive and cheery has reached its limitations. I can no longer be the one you lean on. I haven't the strength. Nor can I reach out to those who pretend we have something in common, when you disregard the balance of 'relationships'...friendships dissolve, in spite of the fact that others become stronger as the years go by through meaningful, kind gestures, and words.
Thank you to those who listen to what I have to say. I don't think you have no idea how much I appreciate you taking the time to really find out who I am. You don't make me uncomfortable for expressing myself and your advise is the most helpful because you think objectively instead of in a preachy manner. Some of you read me like a book, but instead of giving me a pat on the head or some abstract advice, you generously ask me if there is anything you can do to help. Often, knowing you're there, is more than enough. Your kindness is selfless and when I think of you, I get misty, because, you are special to me.
I am thankful to those who worry and are protective of me. You truly are part of a group of people who feel furious when anyone hurts me, be it emotionally, physically or implicit. I find it awe-inspiring that you change demeanor around those who have done me wrong and will do your best to make sure I realize that my kindness is resulting in my being treated like a doormat and you put a stop to that. You are all wonderful and the protectiveness you exude makes me feel safe.
Thank you to those who make me smile, and laugh. Sometimes I wonder how you manage to find the right words to put me at ease. You have no idea how much I appreciate this on my gloomier days. It warms my heart knowing you want to see me happy. Yours is a kind of person that always seems to have at least a few minutes to spare to make sure that even though I am being guarded, I need to be reminded of the positive in small, quirky doses.
Thank you to those who have worked to stay in touch, in spite of schedules and distance. Ours is a friendship that re ignites through some cosmic energy that I can not explain. It is as if we understand each through either spiritual and/or intellectual plains and are able to mediate and understand how crazy busy life can get.
I am also thankful to those who know the right things to say when I am feeling overwhelmed. Today the lot of you individually made me feel better, and not quite so alone. Knowing, that you *get* me, gives me strength. I feel really lucky to have you all in my life, and I can only hope that I can and have done the same for all of you*.
Today, I wish I had the strength to be more like you.
Maybe tomorrow is as good of a day as any to start.
<3
Me
* yes I realize that some of you will fall under more than one category, I recognize there is overlap, and I probably thought of you while I wrote this.
A big raspberry to those who didn't make the cut.
I needed to see that.
I am afraid I had lost my way trying to please those around me, and in the process, I had lost myself.
I had a moment today where I said, 'I feel like a bird sitting on a wire and I'm having trouble balancing'.
I feel uneasy everyday, and I have lost my voice.
I have been exhausted in my self-censorship. My ability to be positive and cheery has reached its limitations. I can no longer be the one you lean on. I haven't the strength. Nor can I reach out to those who pretend we have something in common, when you disregard the balance of 'relationships'...friendships dissolve, in spite of the fact that others become stronger as the years go by through meaningful, kind gestures, and words.
Thank you to those who listen to what I have to say. I don't think you have no idea how much I appreciate you taking the time to really find out who I am. You don't make me uncomfortable for expressing myself and your advise is the most helpful because you think objectively instead of in a preachy manner. Some of you read me like a book, but instead of giving me a pat on the head or some abstract advice, you generously ask me if there is anything you can do to help. Often, knowing you're there, is more than enough. Your kindness is selfless and when I think of you, I get misty, because, you are special to me.
I am thankful to those who worry and are protective of me. You truly are part of a group of people who feel furious when anyone hurts me, be it emotionally, physically or implicit. I find it awe-inspiring that you change demeanor around those who have done me wrong and will do your best to make sure I realize that my kindness is resulting in my being treated like a doormat and you put a stop to that. You are all wonderful and the protectiveness you exude makes me feel safe.
Thank you to those who make me smile, and laugh. Sometimes I wonder how you manage to find the right words to put me at ease. You have no idea how much I appreciate this on my gloomier days. It warms my heart knowing you want to see me happy. Yours is a kind of person that always seems to have at least a few minutes to spare to make sure that even though I am being guarded, I need to be reminded of the positive in small, quirky doses.
Thank you to those who have worked to stay in touch, in spite of schedules and distance. Ours is a friendship that re ignites through some cosmic energy that I can not explain. It is as if we understand each through either spiritual and/or intellectual plains and are able to mediate and understand how crazy busy life can get.
I am also thankful to those who know the right things to say when I am feeling overwhelmed. Today the lot of you individually made me feel better, and not quite so alone. Knowing, that you *get* me, gives me strength. I feel really lucky to have you all in my life, and I can only hope that I can and have done the same for all of you*.
Today, I wish I had the strength to be more like you.
Maybe tomorrow is as good of a day as any to start.
<3
Me
* yes I realize that some of you will fall under more than one category, I recognize there is overlap, and I probably thought of you while I wrote this.
A big raspberry to those who didn't make the cut.