Give me something to sing about...
So a week later and life can only get better, right? My dad is okay, btw - he suffered from a mild panic attack, which he's never had before -...but the entire time I couldn't help but think "How should I be feeling?" I mean....I was worried and anxious to find out if he was okay...but I couldn't muster the all encompassing sorrow when I thought about what life would be like without him. Because...to be honest...I've been living life without him. It wasn't until I began to think about the GOOD things in my life that he was apart of. The few laughs we shared and the rare moments where we joked or got along or even talked. I may not have many fond memories of him, but for the few I do have, they reminded me that when the day comes that he passes on, I will have something to miss and cherish.
So enough of my downerism...because life wouldn't be life if it didn't have its ups and downs. I went to the beach with Stephen and the boys this past Saturday. Don't have any pictures to share, of course, because I didn't bring my camera, but we went to hang out with Stephen's friend Sarah and her boyfriend and her boyfriend's brother Nick. Who is quite the looker, might I say. We played Bocce Ball...which...okay, as far as games goes, isn't the funnest? But it was something to do to pass the time. The score was 5 - 10 in favor of Ryan and Nick (Sara's boyfriend and brother-in-friend?) And yes....I was keeping score cause I guess I AM kind of competitive...I mean...I certainly don't like losing... We were doing really well, too, until Sarah went off to play with the boys, leaving Stephen and me to play with the guys....which, I feel you should know, we would have won if Stephen weren't the Stephen of Bocce Ball. Was he the Tiger Woods of Bocce Ball, we might have won...far faster than we lost.
But as I said, life wouldn't be life if it didn't have its ups and downs... My mom was let go from her temp. job of 8 months on Sunday. That was...the epitome of suck. Now that she has her car and was doing incredibly well - enough for me to warrant a semi-possible dream of moving out and moving on. But now that she's lost her job, I can't help but feel like I will ALWAYS be living with my mother. Always supporting her. Which, okay, I guess I should be okay with because she's given a lot to raise Ben and me, but....I want to live on my own. To HAVE the experiences a person my age can have. I know I'll get over this resentment in a few days...but...for the moment, I feel like every step forward is just two more back.
So enough of my downerism...because life wouldn't be life if it didn't have its ups and downs. I went to the beach with Stephen and the boys this past Saturday. Don't have any pictures to share, of course, because I didn't bring my camera, but we went to hang out with Stephen's friend Sarah and her boyfriend and her boyfriend's brother Nick. Who is quite the looker, might I say. We played Bocce Ball...which...okay, as far as games goes, isn't the funnest? But it was something to do to pass the time. The score was 5 - 10 in favor of Ryan and Nick (Sara's boyfriend and brother-in-friend?) And yes....I was keeping score cause I guess I AM kind of competitive...I mean...I certainly don't like losing... We were doing really well, too, until Sarah went off to play with the boys, leaving Stephen and me to play with the guys....which, I feel you should know, we would have won if Stephen weren't the Stephen of Bocce Ball. Was he the Tiger Woods of Bocce Ball, we might have won...far faster than we lost.
But as I said, life wouldn't be life if it didn't have its ups and downs... My mom was let go from her temp. job of 8 months on Sunday. That was...the epitome of suck. Now that she has her car and was doing incredibly well - enough for me to warrant a semi-possible dream of moving out and moving on. But now that she's lost her job, I can't help but feel like I will ALWAYS be living with my mother. Always supporting her. Which, okay, I guess I should be okay with because she's given a lot to raise Ben and me, but....I want to live on my own. To HAVE the experiences a person my age can have. I know I'll get over this resentment in a few days...but...for the moment, I feel like every step forward is just two more back.