Every Shade of Green, cont.
Continuation of Every Shade of Green
Did I mean it? Of course not. You can't stop yourself from loving someone. Sure, it probably should have been true. It wasn't right for me to pine after her so. And yet I couldn't help it. Without knowing it I had given away my heart. I could never love another like I loved her. There was nothing I could do about it. She hated me as much as I loved her.
Fate couldn't keep us apart. Or perhaps it was just the lack of schools. Either way, we both ended up going to Redmond. I was at the age when people were worried that I was not courting any girls. I didn't dare tell anyone my real reason, it would have been far too humiliating. So I put on the airs that I thought I was too good for any of the girls, while I admired Anne from a far.
One day I sat with my back against a tree in the only quiet place on campus. I warm breeze rushed over me, but I barely felt it. My world had ended the day Anne said she hated me. A discarded science book laid beside me unopened. I had hoped to get some homework done but my heart wouldn't let me.
"Hey," a soft, female voice said from behind me. I felt the hair rise on my arms and the back of my neck. It couldn't be. No. I was getting worked up for nothing. I turned and shaded my eyes from the bright sunlight as I looked up at her--and my heart almost stopped beating. I think I stopped breathing.
"Am I interrupting you?"
"No, no, sit down." She sat down and ran a hand over her face as though thinking about something that was very difficult.
"I was horrible to you. I know it's been more years than I care to remember since then, but I've finally swallowed my pride. I greatly appreciated your help. I did need it, no matter what I said. I guess. . .I guess what my problem is is that I never meant for you to fall in love with me. And. . .if we were friends I would never know if your gestures were because we were friends or because you loved me. I'm afraid that things would be very awkward if we tried to be friends, because I know you would always want something more. I can't give that to you. So I thought it was easier if I stayed away."
"But Anne, even if I can't have your love, I'd rather have your friendship than nothing at all. I'm sorry you see yourself as being too good for me, but if you do find a man who can give your heart to, I will support it. I won't like it, but I will support it. Anne, we have so much in common, and I'm really enjoying talking to you, that I think we could become good friends. If you don't hate me, why can't we be friends?"
"Are you sure we won't regret it?"
"Don't they say 'it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all'? Can't the same be said for friendship?" I begged her with my eyes. "I don't want to make you do anything you don't want to."
"We have been great competitors, and I no longer hate you. I suppose I don't have any reason not to be your friend." I smiled easily.
"Are you for sure?"
"Yes," she answered, nodding determinedly.
Did I mean it? Of course not. You can't stop yourself from loving someone. Sure, it probably should have been true. It wasn't right for me to pine after her so. And yet I couldn't help it. Without knowing it I had given away my heart. I could never love another like I loved her. There was nothing I could do about it. She hated me as much as I loved her.
Fate couldn't keep us apart. Or perhaps it was just the lack of schools. Either way, we both ended up going to Redmond. I was at the age when people were worried that I was not courting any girls. I didn't dare tell anyone my real reason, it would have been far too humiliating. So I put on the airs that I thought I was too good for any of the girls, while I admired Anne from a far.
One day I sat with my back against a tree in the only quiet place on campus. I warm breeze rushed over me, but I barely felt it. My world had ended the day Anne said she hated me. A discarded science book laid beside me unopened. I had hoped to get some homework done but my heart wouldn't let me.
"Hey," a soft, female voice said from behind me. I felt the hair rise on my arms and the back of my neck. It couldn't be. No. I was getting worked up for nothing. I turned and shaded my eyes from the bright sunlight as I looked up at her--and my heart almost stopped beating. I think I stopped breathing.
"Am I interrupting you?"
"No, no, sit down." She sat down and ran a hand over her face as though thinking about something that was very difficult.
"I was horrible to you. I know it's been more years than I care to remember since then, but I've finally swallowed my pride. I greatly appreciated your help. I did need it, no matter what I said. I guess. . .I guess what my problem is is that I never meant for you to fall in love with me. And. . .if we were friends I would never know if your gestures were because we were friends or because you loved me. I'm afraid that things would be very awkward if we tried to be friends, because I know you would always want something more. I can't give that to you. So I thought it was easier if I stayed away."
"But Anne, even if I can't have your love, I'd rather have your friendship than nothing at all. I'm sorry you see yourself as being too good for me, but if you do find a man who can give your heart to, I will support it. I won't like it, but I will support it. Anne, we have so much in common, and I'm really enjoying talking to you, that I think we could become good friends. If you don't hate me, why can't we be friends?"
"Are you sure we won't regret it?"
"Don't they say 'it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all'? Can't the same be said for friendship?" I begged her with my eyes. "I don't want to make you do anything you don't want to."
"We have been great competitors, and I no longer hate you. I suppose I don't have any reason not to be your friend." I smiled easily.
"Are you for sure?"
"Yes," she answered, nodding determinedly.