just reality and dreams please, hold the reality
sometimes it's hard to stop dreaming and start really zoning in on
reality. but i guess when it comes to college, there's not much else i
can do. and so even though i've been writing about the great great
chance i'll be attending UMD, it wasn't until last night that it really
SUNK in. i actually perused my umd acceptance packet and read up on the
tuition and all that jazz. and well, provided i get absolutely no
financial aid, absolutely no scholarships from any source, and
absolutely no grants or w/e, umd with everything combined (and the most
exspensive meal plan) is only about 15,500. indiana, provided i get
pretty much maximum scholarships from them - the cost will prob
be about the same.
and weighing the pros and cons and all that jazz (but not in a list, cause that never works out), i've come to realize all the bad things i've associated with cp are sort of nonrelated or fictionious, or i've rationalized them away. see, one problem was just cause i'd be so CLOSE to home. but you know, nothings gonna make me go home every month or anything. plus, if i ever start longing after my queen sized electric-blanket warmed bed and all it's 4 pillows, i can come home in less than an hour. so i guess that the proximity isn't such a bad thing anymore.
and then i thought "MD is so COLD." well yeah that's true, but other than Emory ALL my schools are farther up into the land of snow and frigid weather. I mean NY, Michigan...come on now. And really that's all I'm counting. cause the chances of me getting into northwestern are well...nonexistant. me being accepted into gemstone, is kind of a miracle. i've already got my surprise of the decade in the form of gemstones, i can't wish/expect another as an acceptance letter from northwestern.
i always used to think that md was not good enough. but it's really not like that with said miracle. to be truthful, i gotta think of the money situation as one of the main deciding factors. cause yeah, if i got into nyu with no aid or w/e, i COULD find a way to pay for it. but would i really want to be in debt for forever, plus have to work my ass off with a job during college, AND walk around NY with no pocket money? nope, that doesn't sound fun at all. and though NY offers so many opportunities because of it's location in the form of internships (hello business major?) and jobs or what not. it's not worth it i don't think. plus i wouldn't really get that whole campus thing going on. cause as much as i wish i were, i'm no reid...my parents can't just afford these things like that. (he got accepted into vanderbuilt early decision)
So i've been in close proximity to DC for, well, all my life. but the thing is i haven't even really discovered it yet. just driving through tiny parts of it on the way to/from the nso youth orchestra day rehearsals, i've seen bits and peices that are just calling for me to explore. before all dc meant to me was measums, cheap nick nacks from street vendors, and some really tall stone statues. but you know, dc is a very major city too. so i'm sure i'll find opportunities there. plus there's all that night life just calling me to come out and play.
and then i gotta come down to a part of me i hate and love at the same time. i'm as fickle as they come, and i'll readily admit it. so yeah, right now i'm all gung-ho about being a duel marketing/finance major (like teddy) but really, i can't promise any sum of money that 12 months from now i'll feel the same. i just get bored with things...and they when i was in middle school i was SURE i wanted to become a neurosurgeon (which is funny cause i can't stand dissections in school).
considering indiana-bloomington as the only real contender in this little game of mine, i gotta say UMD wins hands down. it's just that i've always been in such close proximity to it that i never really noticed that it's really quite a good school. had i been anywhere else right now, i'd look at the umd gemstone program as a sure thing. it's like trying to read a book when it's 2 inches in front of you, it just doesn't work out. IU business is only marginally better than UMD's. and so if (or rather when) i decide that business is NOT the choice of my life, i would be better off at UMD which is overall superior to IU. and though i was all excited about being a direct admit into the iu kelley school of business and all that implies, im also a direct admit into the smith school of business at umd (which i didnt realize until last night haha).
talking to teddy about the whole "seeing qo people around all the time" thing that is bound to happen at UMD, i've discovered it's really only as bad as you make it. since i'm being optimistic about the whole thing, perhaps knowing so many upperclassman will come in handy. plus it'll be sort of comforting to be with all the people who just know the ropes. cause i know most of the class of '05 i really don't give a damn about. and there are still PLENTY of people to meet and befriend in general, and i'd get a head start with gems camp. i'll only be stuck with the same old if i let myself. which i def wont. (oh and about defintely- a word which i am hopeless with when it comes to spelling, according to an article in the washingtonpost magazine, it's one of the most commonly misspelled words. so i am one of the masses i guess haha)
i guess you could call this me rationalizing away the feeling that i'm "settling" by going to umd. but i don't think it is. cause after all, it's all about the frame of mind. and i know that when my mind and matter battle, my matter usually wins ^^ but really, UMD is looking up up and away. financially, socially, academically, and everything else, it just fits. and since i'm all about numbers and scale/ratings here's the figure of the moment: 90% sure- umd class of 09.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and one more thing. i kind of like this little side comment christiann threw at me today. apparently i'm a rebel cause i "never go with what everyone else is doing." i think i like that. echoing the words of countless others over the past few weeks. "i do what i want." for the most part ^^ i gotta admit i like walking the line a lot- even if it's stupid things like leaving bio during the break of 1/2 since we had a sub to go home. and then coming back in the middle of 2nd and stealing reid away to drive me home (lost keys AGAIN ahh). or leaving the band hall 2 minutes before the bell rang even if proctor specifically told us to stay inside. weird little quirks of mine. but hey, according to glee's sociology class males are more likely to take risks than females. hit me up, i'm interested.
talking about interested. some trumpet player in the nso fellowship has AMAZING eyes. during lunch at cupa cupa (doesnt that sound like a lewd cat call?) the light fell on his eyes and they were this brilliant turquoise. i swooned (which adedoji or w/.e his name is promptly pointed out...to the guy). but it's not just about the color, like a trombone player in mcyo has these big brown eyes reminiscent of bambi. those are pretty too (and his name may or may not be ted?)
since i just keep going- i also need to point out that some guys wear suits, and some guys WEAR suits. i dunno what makes the difference, maybe it's just guys with abnormally large shoulder pads look ridiculous. or maybe its the way they carry themselves...but some guys look like totally drool worthy man candy, and others look just...nice. so of course i sweat the ones who know how to work it ^^
enough out of me. i need to stop being so incredibly addicted to my lj. watch me go to college and be a total loser holed up in my room all day typing away at this thing. hrmph. (in the words of trisha: SMOOSHEY!)
and weighing the pros and cons and all that jazz (but not in a list, cause that never works out), i've come to realize all the bad things i've associated with cp are sort of nonrelated or fictionious, or i've rationalized them away. see, one problem was just cause i'd be so CLOSE to home. but you know, nothings gonna make me go home every month or anything. plus, if i ever start longing after my queen sized electric-blanket warmed bed and all it's 4 pillows, i can come home in less than an hour. so i guess that the proximity isn't such a bad thing anymore.
and then i thought "MD is so COLD." well yeah that's true, but other than Emory ALL my schools are farther up into the land of snow and frigid weather. I mean NY, Michigan...come on now. And really that's all I'm counting. cause the chances of me getting into northwestern are well...nonexistant. me being accepted into gemstone, is kind of a miracle. i've already got my surprise of the decade in the form of gemstones, i can't wish/expect another as an acceptance letter from northwestern.
i always used to think that md was not good enough. but it's really not like that with said miracle. to be truthful, i gotta think of the money situation as one of the main deciding factors. cause yeah, if i got into nyu with no aid or w/e, i COULD find a way to pay for it. but would i really want to be in debt for forever, plus have to work my ass off with a job during college, AND walk around NY with no pocket money? nope, that doesn't sound fun at all. and though NY offers so many opportunities because of it's location in the form of internships (hello business major?) and jobs or what not. it's not worth it i don't think. plus i wouldn't really get that whole campus thing going on. cause as much as i wish i were, i'm no reid...my parents can't just afford these things like that. (he got accepted into vanderbuilt early decision)
So i've been in close proximity to DC for, well, all my life. but the thing is i haven't even really discovered it yet. just driving through tiny parts of it on the way to/from the nso youth orchestra day rehearsals, i've seen bits and peices that are just calling for me to explore. before all dc meant to me was measums, cheap nick nacks from street vendors, and some really tall stone statues. but you know, dc is a very major city too. so i'm sure i'll find opportunities there. plus there's all that night life just calling me to come out and play.
and then i gotta come down to a part of me i hate and love at the same time. i'm as fickle as they come, and i'll readily admit it. so yeah, right now i'm all gung-ho about being a duel marketing/finance major (like teddy) but really, i can't promise any sum of money that 12 months from now i'll feel the same. i just get bored with things...and they when i was in middle school i was SURE i wanted to become a neurosurgeon (which is funny cause i can't stand dissections in school).
considering indiana-bloomington as the only real contender in this little game of mine, i gotta say UMD wins hands down. it's just that i've always been in such close proximity to it that i never really noticed that it's really quite a good school. had i been anywhere else right now, i'd look at the umd gemstone program as a sure thing. it's like trying to read a book when it's 2 inches in front of you, it just doesn't work out. IU business is only marginally better than UMD's. and so if (or rather when) i decide that business is NOT the choice of my life, i would be better off at UMD which is overall superior to IU. and though i was all excited about being a direct admit into the iu kelley school of business and all that implies, im also a direct admit into the smith school of business at umd (which i didnt realize until last night haha).
talking to teddy about the whole "seeing qo people around all the time" thing that is bound to happen at UMD, i've discovered it's really only as bad as you make it. since i'm being optimistic about the whole thing, perhaps knowing so many upperclassman will come in handy. plus it'll be sort of comforting to be with all the people who just know the ropes. cause i know most of the class of '05 i really don't give a damn about. and there are still PLENTY of people to meet and befriend in general, and i'd get a head start with gems camp. i'll only be stuck with the same old if i let myself. which i def wont. (oh and about defintely- a word which i am hopeless with when it comes to spelling, according to an article in the washingtonpost magazine, it's one of the most commonly misspelled words. so i am one of the masses i guess haha)
i guess you could call this me rationalizing away the feeling that i'm "settling" by going to umd. but i don't think it is. cause after all, it's all about the frame of mind. and i know that when my mind and matter battle, my matter usually wins ^^ but really, UMD is looking up up and away. financially, socially, academically, and everything else, it just fits. and since i'm all about numbers and scale/ratings here's the figure of the moment: 90% sure- umd class of 09.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and one more thing. i kind of like this little side comment christiann threw at me today. apparently i'm a rebel cause i "never go with what everyone else is doing." i think i like that. echoing the words of countless others over the past few weeks. "i do what i want." for the most part ^^ i gotta admit i like walking the line a lot- even if it's stupid things like leaving bio during the break of 1/2 since we had a sub to go home. and then coming back in the middle of 2nd and stealing reid away to drive me home (lost keys AGAIN ahh). or leaving the band hall 2 minutes before the bell rang even if proctor specifically told us to stay inside. weird little quirks of mine. but hey, according to glee's sociology class males are more likely to take risks than females. hit me up, i'm interested.
talking about interested. some trumpet player in the nso fellowship has AMAZING eyes. during lunch at cupa cupa (doesnt that sound like a lewd cat call?) the light fell on his eyes and they were this brilliant turquoise. i swooned (which adedoji or w/.e his name is promptly pointed out...to the guy). but it's not just about the color, like a trombone player in mcyo has these big brown eyes reminiscent of bambi. those are pretty too (and his name may or may not be ted?)
since i just keep going- i also need to point out that some guys wear suits, and some guys WEAR suits. i dunno what makes the difference, maybe it's just guys with abnormally large shoulder pads look ridiculous. or maybe its the way they carry themselves...but some guys look like totally drool worthy man candy, and others look just...nice. so of course i sweat the ones who know how to work it ^^
enough out of me. i need to stop being so incredibly addicted to my lj. watch me go to college and be a total loser holed up in my room all day typing away at this thing. hrmph. (in the words of trisha: SMOOSHEY!)