This is why getting drunk is a bad idea.
OOC: Takes place before Dick and Roy decide to start dating. ...Technically, it takes place as they decide to start dating.
Roy was amused. He knew Dick was a lightweight, but... really. A beer and a half, and he was practically dancing on a table wearing a lampshade as a hat. Well. Not quite that bad, but... yeah.
Dick knew better than to drink, usually, but he was with Roy, and that meant he could afford to let go. "Cause you'd never let anything bad happen," he said, draping his arm over Roy and leaning on his shoulder. Then he blinked a little. "I think I din't say alla that out loud."
"You really didn't," Roy said with an amused smile. "But... thanks for the vote of confidence?"
Dick grinned at him. "S'why I can drink. Good beer, y'know. Think I might be gettin' a little bit tipsy."
"A little, huh?"
Dick nodded at him happily. "You?"
"Not nearly as much as you."
Dick pouted at him. "You had more. S'not fair."
"I don't have the tolerance of an eight month old," Roy teased.
Dick grinned at him. "I don't drink too much. I like drinking with you, though. Cause you're..." he shifted a little and nuzzled Roy's neck while he vaguely searched for a word. "Comfy."
"Comfy, huh?" Roy asked, tipping his head back a little. "You're really drunk."
"Not that drunk," Dick said. He hiccupped a little and smiled. "Maybe I should drink more. Get up my...whasitcalled."
"Exactly that drunk. You're trying to crawl into my lap."
Dick raised his head a little and gave him a serious look. "Am not. If I was tryin' to climb into your lap, I'd do something more like this." He promptly climbed into Roy's lap. Of course, the most comfortable option was clearly with his legs on either side of Roy's legs. And then it only made sense to steady himself with his hands on Roy's shoulder. "See? Don't need to try."
"Uh huh." Roy let his hands drift down to rest on Dick's hips. "I see that. And--unless you want to get a lot more friendly, you should probably not straddle me right now."
"You're my friend. I like being friendly with you." Oh, wait. Dick took a moment to consider it. Then he smiled. "Don't wanna move."
Roy raised an eyebrow and rolled his hips upward. "Sure about that, shortpants?"
Dick nodded and shifted closer. "I'm sure." He hesitated for half a second, then leaned forward to brush his lips tentatively against Roy's.
Roy kissed him back, bringing one hand up to curl in Dick's hair briefly before disengaging and pulling back again. "You are way too drunk to say yes right now."
Dick whimpered a little when Roy pulled away. "But I waaaant it." He leaned on Roy's shoulder again, mouthing his neck gently.
"Me too," he said, biting back a small moan. "But I'll want it a lot more when I know you really want it, too."
Dick sighed and stopped moving his mouth. He still really, really wanted this, but... this was why he only got drunk around people he trusted. "Can we at least kiss?"
Roy eyed him narrowly. "Just kiss?"
"Yeah." Dick leaned forward again and kissed him. One hand slid down Roy's side and dipped under his shirt.
Roy groaned quietly and covered Dick's hand with his, to keep it from wandering too far.
Dick pouted a little and stroked Roy's hand with his thumb.
"Just kissing," Roy reminded him, running his thumb along Dick's lips.
Dick nipped his thumb gently and sighed. "M'never drinking again."
Roy smiled at him. "Yes, you will. But don't worry. I'll be here for you to molest."
"Could I molest you more if I was sober?" Dick asked, sneaking the hand Roy wasn't holding down Roy's body.
"Yes. Provided sex pollen or pheromones weren't involved." He groaned a little and grabbed the wandering hand, trapping it with the other one. "You're killing me."
"S'kinda mutual." Dick eyed him, flexing his hands, then smirked a little. He twisted his legs and wrapped them around Roy.
Roy made an indignant noise. "You are not playing by the rules."
Dick hummed a little and kissed him again. They were stupid rules anyway.
"Don't make me tie you up," Roy threatened, even as his traitorous hands settled on Dick's hips again.
Dick grinned. "Kinky," he muttered. That left his hands free to slip under Roy's shirt. He did manage to resist the impulse to go down, at least. He was a little worried Roy would decide Dick couldn't be trusted and make him stop.
"You wish," Roy muttered, tugging him a little closer. "No kinky sex games until you're sober."
"That a promise?" Dick asked. He nipped Roy's neck.
"Sure," Roy said, smiling a little. "If you still want to do this when you're sober."
"I will," Dick said. He pulled back and smiled a little at Roy. "Wanted to do this for a while, y'know."
"I'm pretty sure that's the beer talking," Roy teased.
Dick shook his head. "No, it's me." He leaned his head on Roy's shoulder again and ran his hands over Roy's skin gently. "You're you. Course I want you." He grinned and slid a hand out the back of Roy's collar and tugged gently on his hair. "Plus, you're my type."
Roy groaned quietly, his eyes falling half-shut at the feeling of Dick's fingers in his hair. "Want you too," he said quietly. "Can't wait for you to sober up."
"Do we have to wait?" Dick asked. He kissed Roy again. "Been waiting so long already."
"You know how you trust me to be around when you're drinking? I'd like to keep that trust."
Dick sighed a little. "Stop making sense," he grumbled. Instead of kissing him again, he curled himself more firmly around Roy.
Roy laughed a little, snugging Dick closer against him. "Next time get me drunk first. I promise I won't mind if you take advantage of me."
"D'we have to be drunk?" Dick muttered. "We could do it t'morrow or something."
"No, we don't have to be drunk. Probably be better if we aren't. We'll both remember it."
Dick nodded. "You gonna tell me about this if I don't remember in the morning, Speedy?"
"Definitely. But I really hope you do remember."
Dick nodded and closed his eyes. "Don' wanna move," he slurred.
"That's fine." Roy settled himself more comfortably underneath him. "But if I get a crick in my neck from sleeping here, I'm going to blame you."
"Gonna tie me up and punish me?"
"Maybe," Roy said, smirking at him. "Or I'll demand a neck rub."
Dick grinned and rubbed his neck a little. "We could move to the bed." He paused a little. "Not sure how good I am at the walking thing right now."
"Aww." Roy grinned back. "You want me to carry you?"
Dick smiled a little and nodded. "Then I don't have to move," he pointed out.
"Yes, but..." Roy's grin turned into a wicked smirk. "You sure you want me to carry you?"
Dick looked at him suspiciously. "...am I too heavy for you?"
"Nope."
"...yes?"
Roy snickered a little and shifted Dick in his lap, then picked him up--bridal style--and started carrying him toward the bedroom.
Dick huffed a little and gave Roy a look that bordered the line between amused and annoyed. "M'not your wife, you know."
"You did ask me to carry you. I gave you several opportunities to back out."
"S'okay." Dick leaned his head on Roy's chest. "Just get us into bed, and don't expect me t'make your breakfast and wash your clothes."
Roy snorted, and deposited Dick on the bed. "You are not allowed to cook."
"Good." Dick slid over to make room for Roy. "Bet I'd be even worse at cooking if I did it drunk."
"I don't want to think too hard about that," Roy said with a grimace.
"Think I'd burn down the house?"
"It's a possibility."
Dick pulled him down on top of him. "I'll be sober in th'morning, y'know."
"I know." Roy rolled so that he was lying next to him. "Still. I can manage breakfast."
"Prob'ly for the best," Dick said. He turned and curled himself around Roy, tangling their legs under the covers.
Roy smiled a little and wrapped an arm around Dick. "Tired, or is this part of your master plan to get me to give in?"
Dick kissed him. "Is it working?"
"Hm. I don't know. My willpower is pretty strong..."
"Regular Green Lantern you are," Dick said, hand trailing down Roy's stomach.
"Mmhm," Roy agreed. He put his hand over Dick's raising an eyebrow. "What about sleep?"
"Fiiiiine." Dick rested his head on Roy's shoulder. "Think you'll have less willpower in the morning?"
"If you're sober? Definitely."
"Good." Dick kissed his shoulder and curled around him a little more. "'Night, Roy."
"'Night, Dick," he said closing his eyes. "Good luck with the hangover."
~*~
The first thing Dick registered was searing pain in his head. He knew he wasn't in his bed, but he wasn't sure where he was. It was someone's bed. Someone male, from what he could feel. His clothes were all on, so he hadn't done anything stupid. Everything smelled like Roy and his head hurt. He groaned a little and cracked open his eyes. Oh, that would explain why everything smelled like Roy. "...hi, Roy," he grunted.
Roy cracked his eyes opened and glanced at Dick. "Good morning, sunshine," he muttered, scrubbing at his face. "How's your head?"
"Godawful," Dick said. "What happened last night? Wait." He struggled up a little and winced. "Tell me after we've had coffee."
Roy smirked at him. "You might want that coffee."
He disentangled himself from Roy and rolled over. "Never drinking again," he muttered. "Ever. I mean it this time."
"Uh huh." Roy sat up and rolled out of bed. He'd fallen asleep in his clothes--he couldn't believe it.
"Tell me I had more than two this time, at least."
"You had about that much," Roy said, deciding not to tell him that it had really only been one and a half before he'd been climbing all over him.
Dick groaned. "Let's not tell my enemies that my real weakness is that I'm a lightweight." He lay back for another moment before climbing carefully out of the bed. "Got anything for my head?"
"Ibuprofen in the medicine cabinet. And I'll try to keep it to myself."
Dick nodded and stumble into the bathroom. Then he walked back out to Roy, yawning widely. "Coffee?"
"Coffee," Roy agreed. He pushed himself up, yawning, and moved toward the kitchen. "Flavor? No flavor?" He didn't bother to offer decaf.
"Don't care. Just make it strong." Dick followed him and sat down at the table. "So, wanna tell me about last night?"
"Sure thing." Roy set the coffeemaker to start, then turned around and leaned against the counter to look at Dick. "You sure you want to know?"
Dick gave him a grim smile. "That bad, huh? Well, you know me, always too curious for my own good."
"Well, depends on your definition of 'bad.'" Roy grinned. "You mounted me."
Dick blinked up at him for a moment, then groaned and put his head in his hands. "I'm sorry. I'm never drinking again."
"You don't have to apologize." Roy smiled a little. "I didn't really mind."
Dick glanced up at him. "...you didn't?" That sounded far more hopeful than he was going for. "Really?"
"I really didn't. But you were drunk. I said no. You seemed pretty annoyed by that, actually."
Dick smiled back a little. "I don't remember any of this. I hope I wasn't too annoying about it."
"More endearing."
Dick shook his head, grinning a little. "Guess I'm lucky I was with you, then."
"Guess so." Roy grinned back. "You know, you seemed very insistent that I remember that my objections would disappear when you were sober again..."
Dick glanced up at him. "I was?" He propped his chin up on his hands and looked up at Roy. "...Were you just saying that to get me to stop molesting you, or did you mean it?"
"Well, I did mean it, but... you were pretty drunk at the time." Roy smiled at him. "I won't hold you to it."
Dick swallowed a little and smiled back. "What if I want to hold you to it?"
"I think that can be arranged."
Dick grinned at him. "I'd like that. But can we wait until after coffee? I don't want to have sex when I feel this awful."
Roy snorted lightly. "I don't blame you."
Dick smiled a little. "Though I am glad you didn't let me do it last night."
"Next time, remind your drunk self of that," Roy teased, laughing a little. "Because he was deeply annoyed."
Dick laughed too. "It just would have sucked to have slept with you and not remembered it."
Roy grinned widely. "Yeah, my ego would have taken a serious hit."
"We wouldn't want that."
"Definitely not." The coffeemaker stopped behind him and he turned to pour it into two cups. "How do you want yours?"
"Black. Thanks, Roy."
"You're welcome." He set Dick's cup in front of him and took a drink from his own. World's Greatest Dad.
Dick closed his eyes and drank deeply. He was feeling more human already. He nodded at Roy's mug. "When's Lian getting home?"
"Tomorrow. Dinah wanted a girl weekend. I think they're clothes shopping."
"Awww. That sounds fun." He took another chug and glanced up at him. "...mind if I stay the night again?"
"Only if you stay sober so I can take advantage of you," he said solemnly.
Dick grinned and rubbed his head. "That works pretty well with my plan of never drinking again."
"Well... you could drink sometimes. Just so I can tease you a little."
Dick eyed him, smirking a little. "You'd laugh at my pain? Why am I letting you take advantage of me again?"
"Because you begged for it all night," Roy said, laughing.
"Good point. I'd hate to be a tease." He finished his coffee and glanced up at Roy, grinning mischievously. "So, we didn't have sex. Did we do other things you'd like to remind me of now that we're sober?"
"I did mention you crawled all over my lap, right?"
Dick nodded. "Which was endearing more than annoying. I'll have to keep that in mind."
Roy raised an eyebrow. "Does that mean I might get a repeat performance?"
Dick smiled mysteriously. "Anything is possible." He walked over to the coffee maker and poured himself another cup. "So I climbed all over you and went to bed. Also all over you, apparently. Must have been an interesting night. Really wish I remembered it."
"Well, there was the part where I carried you to bed..." Roy bit back a grin. "It's really too bad you don't remember that."
Dick raised his eyebrow. "...do I want to know?"
"Hm. Well, you offered to cook breakfast..."
Dick gave him an alarmed look. "Tell me you said no!"
Roy gave him an incredulous look. "Do you think I enjoy food poisoning?"
"Just making sure!" Dick sipped his coffee. "Why did I offer? I mean, I know my judgment's bad when I'm drunk, but..."
"It might have had to do with the fact that I carried you bridal style," Roy mused thoughtfully.
Dick sputtered and spat his coffee back into his cup, then promptly started coughing. "Want to wait until I'm finished drinking to tell me things like that next time?" he gasped.
"Yeah, but then I miss out on your reaction," he said, laughing.
"You are such a jerk." Dick shook his head and smiled, wiping his mouth on his hand. "Bridal style. Nice seduction there, stud."
"I wasn't trying to seduce you. I was trying to keep your horn-dog hands off of me, tiger."
Dick rolled his eyes. "Bridal style. I want to sleep with you, not marry you, you know." He grinned, though. "I was that bad?"
"You were definitely that bad. And good." Roy grinned at him. "I'm not sure I'm ready to see you in a white dress."
Dick had his coffee half up to his mouth, but he quickly put it down and snorted. "We can save the weird stuff for the second time."
Roy grinned. "Deal. So... there's going to be a second time, huh?"
Dick glanced down, toying with his coffee mug. "I don't know. Guess we should see how the first time goes first, huh?"
"Guess we should," Roy agreed. He gave Dick a little smile. "But--relax. The fate of the world doesn't hang on this. It's supposed to be fun."
Dick smiled back at him. "I know. But my best friend could find out I'm lousy in bed. That might be just as bad."
"I'd still be your best friend," Roy pointed out. "But what if you find out I'm lousy in bed? Now that would be a tragedy."
Dick laughed. "I guess it'd mean I'd never believe you when you boast about your prowess again. But I'd still be your best friend too."
"There we go." Roy grinned a little. "And who knows--maybe we'll figure out that we're both great in bed, and that we'll have lots of time and inclination to try out the weird stuff."
"That could be fun. But I'm going to tell you right now that wedding dresses are very much not a kink I'm interested in trying. I'd be too worried someone would blow up."
Roy snorted a little. "Not a kink I want to try either. Formalwear on the other hand... I do like a man in a nice suit."
Dick raised his eyebrows and smiled. "I've got a couple of those in my closet, and they don't get much wear when I'm not visiting Bruce."
"I'm perfectly happy to help you break those in," Roy said, grinning widely at him.
"I could take you to one of 'Brucie's' parties. Imagine the headlines in the tabloids!"
Roy snickered. "I think I can probably imagine."
Dick laughed. "Might be worth doing it even if the sex ends up being terrible."
“It would give them something new to talk about. And I'd get to ogle you in a suit, which is never a bad thing."
Dick grinned and blushed a little. "Sounds like a good plan, then. I'll mark you down as my plus one on my next invite."
"Sure. And we can piss off Bruce while we're at it." Roy laughed a little, setting his cup on the counter. "I mean... can you see the look on his face?"
Dick grinned and hoisted himself up to sit on the table. "Oh yes. It'll be hilarious!"
"Uh huh," Roy agreed. "I'll pay for it, next time he's on the Watchtower, but it will be worth it."
Dick winced. "Oooh. We can tell him it's my idea. If it'll help at all."
"We'll see. I'll live."
"...should we be particularly disgustingly couply for maximum scandal?"
"I think that would be best," Roy said, grinning wickedly. "I mean--in for a penny..."
Dick laughed. "I think I'll have way more fun than I normally do at these things."
"I'll make sure of it," Roy replied, eyes dancing with humor. "Even if I have to pull you into a coat closet to make sure of it."
Dick mock gasped. "How scandalous! Speaking of which." He put his mug down and slid off the table. "I'm sober, and no longer feeling godawful. Don't you have a promise to keep?"
"Hm," Roy said thoughtfully, reaching toward Dick. "I think I did."
Dick wrapped his arms around Roy's waist and smiled. "Did we kiss last night? I don't remember."
"We did..." Roy smiled, stepping closer. "But I'd be willing to find out how it is when you're sober."
Dick tilted his head up and kissed him, slowly and sweetly.
Roy closed his eyes and sighed a little through his nose. "Much better," he said with a small smile, when they broke apart.
Dick grinned. "I don't have anything to compare it too, but it seemed pretty great to me."
"Mm," Roy agreed. "Want to find out if the rest of it is just as good?"
"Yeah, I really do." Dick smiled and pecked the corner of his mouth. "But there's no way in hell I'm letting you carry me bridal style again." He stepped just out of reach and ran for the bedroom.
Laughing, Roy followed.
Roy was amused. He knew Dick was a lightweight, but... really. A beer and a half, and he was practically dancing on a table wearing a lampshade as a hat. Well. Not quite that bad, but... yeah.
Dick knew better than to drink, usually, but he was with Roy, and that meant he could afford to let go. "Cause you'd never let anything bad happen," he said, draping his arm over Roy and leaning on his shoulder. Then he blinked a little. "I think I din't say alla that out loud."
"You really didn't," Roy said with an amused smile. "But... thanks for the vote of confidence?"
Dick grinned at him. "S'why I can drink. Good beer, y'know. Think I might be gettin' a little bit tipsy."
"A little, huh?"
Dick nodded at him happily. "You?"
"Not nearly as much as you."
Dick pouted at him. "You had more. S'not fair."
"I don't have the tolerance of an eight month old," Roy teased.
Dick grinned at him. "I don't drink too much. I like drinking with you, though. Cause you're..." he shifted a little and nuzzled Roy's neck while he vaguely searched for a word. "Comfy."
"Comfy, huh?" Roy asked, tipping his head back a little. "You're really drunk."
"Not that drunk," Dick said. He hiccupped a little and smiled. "Maybe I should drink more. Get up my...whasitcalled."
"Exactly that drunk. You're trying to crawl into my lap."
Dick raised his head a little and gave him a serious look. "Am not. If I was tryin' to climb into your lap, I'd do something more like this." He promptly climbed into Roy's lap. Of course, the most comfortable option was clearly with his legs on either side of Roy's legs. And then it only made sense to steady himself with his hands on Roy's shoulder. "See? Don't need to try."
"Uh huh." Roy let his hands drift down to rest on Dick's hips. "I see that. And--unless you want to get a lot more friendly, you should probably not straddle me right now."
"You're my friend. I like being friendly with you." Oh, wait. Dick took a moment to consider it. Then he smiled. "Don't wanna move."
Roy raised an eyebrow and rolled his hips upward. "Sure about that, shortpants?"
Dick nodded and shifted closer. "I'm sure." He hesitated for half a second, then leaned forward to brush his lips tentatively against Roy's.
Roy kissed him back, bringing one hand up to curl in Dick's hair briefly before disengaging and pulling back again. "You are way too drunk to say yes right now."
Dick whimpered a little when Roy pulled away. "But I waaaant it." He leaned on Roy's shoulder again, mouthing his neck gently.
"Me too," he said, biting back a small moan. "But I'll want it a lot more when I know you really want it, too."
Dick sighed and stopped moving his mouth. He still really, really wanted this, but... this was why he only got drunk around people he trusted. "Can we at least kiss?"
Roy eyed him narrowly. "Just kiss?"
"Yeah." Dick leaned forward again and kissed him. One hand slid down Roy's side and dipped under his shirt.
Roy groaned quietly and covered Dick's hand with his, to keep it from wandering too far.
Dick pouted a little and stroked Roy's hand with his thumb.
"Just kissing," Roy reminded him, running his thumb along Dick's lips.
Dick nipped his thumb gently and sighed. "M'never drinking again."
Roy smiled at him. "Yes, you will. But don't worry. I'll be here for you to molest."
"Could I molest you more if I was sober?" Dick asked, sneaking the hand Roy wasn't holding down Roy's body.
"Yes. Provided sex pollen or pheromones weren't involved." He groaned a little and grabbed the wandering hand, trapping it with the other one. "You're killing me."
"S'kinda mutual." Dick eyed him, flexing his hands, then smirked a little. He twisted his legs and wrapped them around Roy.
Roy made an indignant noise. "You are not playing by the rules."
Dick hummed a little and kissed him again. They were stupid rules anyway.
"Don't make me tie you up," Roy threatened, even as his traitorous hands settled on Dick's hips again.
Dick grinned. "Kinky," he muttered. That left his hands free to slip under Roy's shirt. He did manage to resist the impulse to go down, at least. He was a little worried Roy would decide Dick couldn't be trusted and make him stop.
"You wish," Roy muttered, tugging him a little closer. "No kinky sex games until you're sober."
"That a promise?" Dick asked. He nipped Roy's neck.
"Sure," Roy said, smiling a little. "If you still want to do this when you're sober."
"I will," Dick said. He pulled back and smiled a little at Roy. "Wanted to do this for a while, y'know."
"I'm pretty sure that's the beer talking," Roy teased.
Dick shook his head. "No, it's me." He leaned his head on Roy's shoulder again and ran his hands over Roy's skin gently. "You're you. Course I want you." He grinned and slid a hand out the back of Roy's collar and tugged gently on his hair. "Plus, you're my type."
Roy groaned quietly, his eyes falling half-shut at the feeling of Dick's fingers in his hair. "Want you too," he said quietly. "Can't wait for you to sober up."
"Do we have to wait?" Dick asked. He kissed Roy again. "Been waiting so long already."
"You know how you trust me to be around when you're drinking? I'd like to keep that trust."
Dick sighed a little. "Stop making sense," he grumbled. Instead of kissing him again, he curled himself more firmly around Roy.
Roy laughed a little, snugging Dick closer against him. "Next time get me drunk first. I promise I won't mind if you take advantage of me."
"D'we have to be drunk?" Dick muttered. "We could do it t'morrow or something."
"No, we don't have to be drunk. Probably be better if we aren't. We'll both remember it."
Dick nodded. "You gonna tell me about this if I don't remember in the morning, Speedy?"
"Definitely. But I really hope you do remember."
Dick nodded and closed his eyes. "Don' wanna move," he slurred.
"That's fine." Roy settled himself more comfortably underneath him. "But if I get a crick in my neck from sleeping here, I'm going to blame you."
"Gonna tie me up and punish me?"
"Maybe," Roy said, smirking at him. "Or I'll demand a neck rub."
Dick grinned and rubbed his neck a little. "We could move to the bed." He paused a little. "Not sure how good I am at the walking thing right now."
"Aww." Roy grinned back. "You want me to carry you?"
Dick smiled a little and nodded. "Then I don't have to move," he pointed out.
"Yes, but..." Roy's grin turned into a wicked smirk. "You sure you want me to carry you?"
Dick looked at him suspiciously. "...am I too heavy for you?"
"Nope."
"...yes?"
Roy snickered a little and shifted Dick in his lap, then picked him up--bridal style--and started carrying him toward the bedroom.
Dick huffed a little and gave Roy a look that bordered the line between amused and annoyed. "M'not your wife, you know."
"You did ask me to carry you. I gave you several opportunities to back out."
"S'okay." Dick leaned his head on Roy's chest. "Just get us into bed, and don't expect me t'make your breakfast and wash your clothes."
Roy snorted, and deposited Dick on the bed. "You are not allowed to cook."
"Good." Dick slid over to make room for Roy. "Bet I'd be even worse at cooking if I did it drunk."
"I don't want to think too hard about that," Roy said with a grimace.
"Think I'd burn down the house?"
"It's a possibility."
Dick pulled him down on top of him. "I'll be sober in th'morning, y'know."
"I know." Roy rolled so that he was lying next to him. "Still. I can manage breakfast."
"Prob'ly for the best," Dick said. He turned and curled himself around Roy, tangling their legs under the covers.
Roy smiled a little and wrapped an arm around Dick. "Tired, or is this part of your master plan to get me to give in?"
Dick kissed him. "Is it working?"
"Hm. I don't know. My willpower is pretty strong..."
"Regular Green Lantern you are," Dick said, hand trailing down Roy's stomach.
"Mmhm," Roy agreed. He put his hand over Dick's raising an eyebrow. "What about sleep?"
"Fiiiiine." Dick rested his head on Roy's shoulder. "Think you'll have less willpower in the morning?"
"If you're sober? Definitely."
"Good." Dick kissed his shoulder and curled around him a little more. "'Night, Roy."
"'Night, Dick," he said closing his eyes. "Good luck with the hangover."
~*~
The first thing Dick registered was searing pain in his head. He knew he wasn't in his bed, but he wasn't sure where he was. It was someone's bed. Someone male, from what he could feel. His clothes were all on, so he hadn't done anything stupid. Everything smelled like Roy and his head hurt. He groaned a little and cracked open his eyes. Oh, that would explain why everything smelled like Roy. "...hi, Roy," he grunted.
Roy cracked his eyes opened and glanced at Dick. "Good morning, sunshine," he muttered, scrubbing at his face. "How's your head?"
"Godawful," Dick said. "What happened last night? Wait." He struggled up a little and winced. "Tell me after we've had coffee."
Roy smirked at him. "You might want that coffee."
He disentangled himself from Roy and rolled over. "Never drinking again," he muttered. "Ever. I mean it this time."
"Uh huh." Roy sat up and rolled out of bed. He'd fallen asleep in his clothes--he couldn't believe it.
"Tell me I had more than two this time, at least."
"You had about that much," Roy said, deciding not to tell him that it had really only been one and a half before he'd been climbing all over him.
Dick groaned. "Let's not tell my enemies that my real weakness is that I'm a lightweight." He lay back for another moment before climbing carefully out of the bed. "Got anything for my head?"
"Ibuprofen in the medicine cabinet. And I'll try to keep it to myself."
Dick nodded and stumble into the bathroom. Then he walked back out to Roy, yawning widely. "Coffee?"
"Coffee," Roy agreed. He pushed himself up, yawning, and moved toward the kitchen. "Flavor? No flavor?" He didn't bother to offer decaf.
"Don't care. Just make it strong." Dick followed him and sat down at the table. "So, wanna tell me about last night?"
"Sure thing." Roy set the coffeemaker to start, then turned around and leaned against the counter to look at Dick. "You sure you want to know?"
Dick gave him a grim smile. "That bad, huh? Well, you know me, always too curious for my own good."
"Well, depends on your definition of 'bad.'" Roy grinned. "You mounted me."
Dick blinked up at him for a moment, then groaned and put his head in his hands. "I'm sorry. I'm never drinking again."
"You don't have to apologize." Roy smiled a little. "I didn't really mind."
Dick glanced up at him. "...you didn't?" That sounded far more hopeful than he was going for. "Really?"
"I really didn't. But you were drunk. I said no. You seemed pretty annoyed by that, actually."
Dick smiled back a little. "I don't remember any of this. I hope I wasn't too annoying about it."
"More endearing."
Dick shook his head, grinning a little. "Guess I'm lucky I was with you, then."
"Guess so." Roy grinned back. "You know, you seemed very insistent that I remember that my objections would disappear when you were sober again..."
Dick glanced up at him. "I was?" He propped his chin up on his hands and looked up at Roy. "...Were you just saying that to get me to stop molesting you, or did you mean it?"
"Well, I did mean it, but... you were pretty drunk at the time." Roy smiled at him. "I won't hold you to it."
Dick swallowed a little and smiled back. "What if I want to hold you to it?"
"I think that can be arranged."
Dick grinned at him. "I'd like that. But can we wait until after coffee? I don't want to have sex when I feel this awful."
Roy snorted lightly. "I don't blame you."
Dick smiled a little. "Though I am glad you didn't let me do it last night."
"Next time, remind your drunk self of that," Roy teased, laughing a little. "Because he was deeply annoyed."
Dick laughed too. "It just would have sucked to have slept with you and not remembered it."
Roy grinned widely. "Yeah, my ego would have taken a serious hit."
"We wouldn't want that."
"Definitely not." The coffeemaker stopped behind him and he turned to pour it into two cups. "How do you want yours?"
"Black. Thanks, Roy."
"You're welcome." He set Dick's cup in front of him and took a drink from his own. World's Greatest Dad.
Dick closed his eyes and drank deeply. He was feeling more human already. He nodded at Roy's mug. "When's Lian getting home?"
"Tomorrow. Dinah wanted a girl weekend. I think they're clothes shopping."
"Awww. That sounds fun." He took another chug and glanced up at him. "...mind if I stay the night again?"
"Only if you stay sober so I can take advantage of you," he said solemnly.
Dick grinned and rubbed his head. "That works pretty well with my plan of never drinking again."
"Well... you could drink sometimes. Just so I can tease you a little."
Dick eyed him, smirking a little. "You'd laugh at my pain? Why am I letting you take advantage of me again?"
"Because you begged for it all night," Roy said, laughing.
"Good point. I'd hate to be a tease." He finished his coffee and glanced up at Roy, grinning mischievously. "So, we didn't have sex. Did we do other things you'd like to remind me of now that we're sober?"
"I did mention you crawled all over my lap, right?"
Dick nodded. "Which was endearing more than annoying. I'll have to keep that in mind."
Roy raised an eyebrow. "Does that mean I might get a repeat performance?"
Dick smiled mysteriously. "Anything is possible." He walked over to the coffee maker and poured himself another cup. "So I climbed all over you and went to bed. Also all over you, apparently. Must have been an interesting night. Really wish I remembered it."
"Well, there was the part where I carried you to bed..." Roy bit back a grin. "It's really too bad you don't remember that."
Dick raised his eyebrow. "...do I want to know?"
"Hm. Well, you offered to cook breakfast..."
Dick gave him an alarmed look. "Tell me you said no!"
Roy gave him an incredulous look. "Do you think I enjoy food poisoning?"
"Just making sure!" Dick sipped his coffee. "Why did I offer? I mean, I know my judgment's bad when I'm drunk, but..."
"It might have had to do with the fact that I carried you bridal style," Roy mused thoughtfully.
Dick sputtered and spat his coffee back into his cup, then promptly started coughing. "Want to wait until I'm finished drinking to tell me things like that next time?" he gasped.
"Yeah, but then I miss out on your reaction," he said, laughing.
"You are such a jerk." Dick shook his head and smiled, wiping his mouth on his hand. "Bridal style. Nice seduction there, stud."
"I wasn't trying to seduce you. I was trying to keep your horn-dog hands off of me, tiger."
Dick rolled his eyes. "Bridal style. I want to sleep with you, not marry you, you know." He grinned, though. "I was that bad?"
"You were definitely that bad. And good." Roy grinned at him. "I'm not sure I'm ready to see you in a white dress."
Dick had his coffee half up to his mouth, but he quickly put it down and snorted. "We can save the weird stuff for the second time."
Roy grinned. "Deal. So... there's going to be a second time, huh?"
Dick glanced down, toying with his coffee mug. "I don't know. Guess we should see how the first time goes first, huh?"
"Guess we should," Roy agreed. He gave Dick a little smile. "But--relax. The fate of the world doesn't hang on this. It's supposed to be fun."
Dick smiled back at him. "I know. But my best friend could find out I'm lousy in bed. That might be just as bad."
"I'd still be your best friend," Roy pointed out. "But what if you find out I'm lousy in bed? Now that would be a tragedy."
Dick laughed. "I guess it'd mean I'd never believe you when you boast about your prowess again. But I'd still be your best friend too."
"There we go." Roy grinned a little. "And who knows--maybe we'll figure out that we're both great in bed, and that we'll have lots of time and inclination to try out the weird stuff."
"That could be fun. But I'm going to tell you right now that wedding dresses are very much not a kink I'm interested in trying. I'd be too worried someone would blow up."
Roy snorted a little. "Not a kink I want to try either. Formalwear on the other hand... I do like a man in a nice suit."
Dick raised his eyebrows and smiled. "I've got a couple of those in my closet, and they don't get much wear when I'm not visiting Bruce."
"I'm perfectly happy to help you break those in," Roy said, grinning widely at him.
"I could take you to one of 'Brucie's' parties. Imagine the headlines in the tabloids!"
Roy snickered. "I think I can probably imagine."
Dick laughed. "Might be worth doing it even if the sex ends up being terrible."
“It would give them something new to talk about. And I'd get to ogle you in a suit, which is never a bad thing."
Dick grinned and blushed a little. "Sounds like a good plan, then. I'll mark you down as my plus one on my next invite."
"Sure. And we can piss off Bruce while we're at it." Roy laughed a little, setting his cup on the counter. "I mean... can you see the look on his face?"
Dick grinned and hoisted himself up to sit on the table. "Oh yes. It'll be hilarious!"
"Uh huh," Roy agreed. "I'll pay for it, next time he's on the Watchtower, but it will be worth it."
Dick winced. "Oooh. We can tell him it's my idea. If it'll help at all."
"We'll see. I'll live."
"...should we be particularly disgustingly couply for maximum scandal?"
"I think that would be best," Roy said, grinning wickedly. "I mean--in for a penny..."
Dick laughed. "I think I'll have way more fun than I normally do at these things."
"I'll make sure of it," Roy replied, eyes dancing with humor. "Even if I have to pull you into a coat closet to make sure of it."
Dick mock gasped. "How scandalous! Speaking of which." He put his mug down and slid off the table. "I'm sober, and no longer feeling godawful. Don't you have a promise to keep?"
"Hm," Roy said thoughtfully, reaching toward Dick. "I think I did."
Dick wrapped his arms around Roy's waist and smiled. "Did we kiss last night? I don't remember."
"We did..." Roy smiled, stepping closer. "But I'd be willing to find out how it is when you're sober."
Dick tilted his head up and kissed him, slowly and sweetly.
Roy closed his eyes and sighed a little through his nose. "Much better," he said with a small smile, when they broke apart.
Dick grinned. "I don't have anything to compare it too, but it seemed pretty great to me."
"Mm," Roy agreed. "Want to find out if the rest of it is just as good?"
"Yeah, I really do." Dick smiled and pecked the corner of his mouth. "But there's no way in hell I'm letting you carry me bridal style again." He stepped just out of reach and ran for the bedroom.
Laughing, Roy followed.